


Rabbit Heart

by PrettyRacing



Category: The Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Background Relationships, Beth is a teenager, Canon-Typical Violence, F/M, May/December Relationship, Other characters make appearances - Freeform, Rick is not, severe age gap romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-21
Updated: 2020-09-24
Packaged: 2021-03-07 21:21:27
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Underage
Chapters: 21
Words: 70,197
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26584318
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PrettyRacing/pseuds/PrettyRacing
Summary: Rick never meets up with the others in Atlanta, he waits for Morgan and Duane before heading to Atlanta and therefore never runs into Glenn. Consequently, Shane and Co. head for Fort Benning. But, the Greene farm is still overrun by a passing herd. Beth and Jimmy escape and when all seems lost, they run into Rick Grimes.
Relationships: Beth Greene/Rick Grimes
Comments: 58
Kudos: 56





	1. Chapter 1

* * *

**Chapter One**

* * *

The day was beautiful. Winter was fast approaching but today the weather was warm with the slightest crisp of fall in the air, the sun was shining and leaves were beginning to take on a red-orange tint. It was entirely unfair, Beth thought, that the day be so beautiful when the world was so awful. 

“Beth, keep up.” Jimmy hissed over his shoulder. 

She rubbed at her red rimmed eyes and continued her trudge behind Jimmy. The blue Taurus had run out of gas an hour ago and they were now walking down a county road loosely in the direction of some Atlanta suburb where Jimmy supposedly had an uncle living. Jimmy was sure they could find shelter and food but Beth wondered what was the point of trying. Her family’s farm had been overrun by the infected, Patricia had been ripped right out of her arms by three infected and Jimmy had to drag her away while Otis attacked the man that tore into Patricia’s shoulder with his teeth. Jimmy had thrown her into the backseat of the car and drove away frantically not even waiting for Otis or anyone else. Beth wept in the backseat lying on her side curled in a ball for a long time before shaking herself coherent enough to scream at Jimmy for abandoning the others. She had no idea if her father or sister were still alive, or if Otis rescued Patricia. Jimmy refused to turn around and go back to the farm, he stated that there had been too many infected and they could not be stopped, not when Otis fired rounds into them, they just kept coming un-phased. The infected were worse than what her father had told them and she had lost her entire family in one night. She did not see the point of even trying to survive but Jimmy seemed determined so she followed along numbly. 

Beth was ripped from her miserable musing when she nearly ran into Jimmy’s back. He had stopped suddenly, and Beth was staring at the ground and barely missed running into the duffle bag slung over his shoulder. Jimmy glared over his shoulder at her before gesturing to two infected along the side of the road. They hadn’t noticed Beth and Jimmy yet, they were kneeling over some sort of carcass eating and Beth felt nauseous at the sight. 

Jimmy brandished his bat, their only weapon, and slowly approached them. “Jimmy! What are you doing?” Beth hissed in a whisper. He ignored her. He swung the bat into the first one’s head and it knocked clean off. Beth shrieked as the head rolled to a stop but the mouth and eyes of the infected kept snarling. 

The second infected rose to attack Jimmy and his next swing connected with its upper arm. The crack of flesh and bones breaking was audible but it just kept reaching for Jimmy and Jimmy panicked and dropped the bat while trying to avoid its grasp. Beth screamed as the infected grabbed Jimmy’s arm and attempted to bite while Jimmy shoved at its chest. 

A shot rang out. The infected collapsed as a bullet ripped through its head and Jimmy scrambled back from the now still corpse. Beth looked up to see a man in a police uniform holding a rifle about twenty yards away. He lowered the gun and started walking towards them and Beth noticed he was not alone. He was with another man and a young kid, about twelve years old, the man had gun as well. “You two all right?” The man in uniform asked. 

“Either of you bit?” the other man asked, he seemed more wary than the first man. 

“N-no, he only grabbed me.” Jimmy responded. He picked up his bat and dropped duffle and turned to greet the approaching group. Beth stayed rooted to her spot not wanting to get any closer to the dead infected or the new strangers. 

“What about scratched? Did it break your skin?” the wary man asked again. 

They reached Jimmy by then and the officer studied Jimmy intently. “I don’t see any rips or blood.” He commented to the man with him. “My name is Rick Grimes,” the first man introduced himself. He was now close enough that Beth could see that his brown uniform was for the sheriff’s department of King County. “And this is Morgan Jones and his son Duane.” The other two nodded and the young boy seemed excited to see other people, but his father kept a protective arm on his shoulder. 

“I’m Jimmy, this is Beth.” Jimmy nodded towards her and Rick’s attention shifted to her. 

“You okay Beth?” Rick asked. Beth shook her head no, because how could she be okay? She lost her family and infected people were trying to _eat_ her. “Are you injured?” He asked. He approached her slowly, as if she were skittish horse, and stopped a few paces away. “It’s going to be okay, you’re safe now.” His voice was soothing and calm, and his startling blue eyes held hers intently and she did begin to feel safer. Safer than she did with just Jimmy. 

He placed a hesitant hand on her shoulder and began to lead her back to Jimmy and Morgan. “Now what are you two kids doing out here by yourselves?” Rick asked. 

“We’re headed towards Atlanta, I’ve got an uncle in Riverdale.”

“Towards Atlanta? That’s a suicide trip.” Morgan shook his head. 

Beth shot a fierce glare at Jimmy before finally speaking, “We were on my Daddy’s farm and it was… it was overrun by…” Beth gestured at the recently dead infected at their feet, “And we abandoned my family.” She ended angrily. 

“Beth, you saw what those things did to Patricia. I got us out of there. We’re alive thanks to me.” Beth felt tears pricking at her eyes again and turned her back of the group to try to calm down. 

“Okay, let’s settle down here. You kids are welcome to continue on your way, but I warn ya, Atlanta is full of walkers. If your Uncle was there its likely he left or he’s dead. Or, you can come with us.” 

“Walkers?” Beth asked curiously, she turned back around and wiped at the few tear that had escaped. 

“It’s what we’re callin’ ‘em, the walking dead.” Morgan responded and kicked at one of the corpses at his feet. “You can only stop ‘em with a blow or shot to the head, or else they just keep comin’.” 

“But we thought they were just infected… they’re dead?” Jimmy asked shakily. 

“I’m guessin’ you two have been pretty sheltered so far,” Morgan replied dryly. 

“When we were in Atlanta, we stopped at the CDC… suffice to say, you get bit, you die, you come back as one of them. There’s no cure.” Rick told them. 

Beth nodded miserably. So her mother and Shawn were truly lost to her, and her father and Maggie could be too. “Where… where are you guys headin’?” Beth asked hesitantly. 

“Nowhere specific. We’re looking for other survivors. I’ve got a wife and son out there somewhere.” Rick responded. 

“We were raiding that house over there for supplies when we heard you scream.” Morgan gestured back to a house not too far away from the road. “We’re low on gas and food.” 

“Thank you for the offer, but we’ll keep going towards the city.” said Jimmy. 

Beth’s head snapped back in his direction with disbelief, “What?” 

“Beth, my uncle is one of those survivor types. We’ll be fine.” 

“Fine? Are you crazy? We are so not fine out here!” she felt her voice rising as her hysteria rose. “I don’t want to go anywhere with you!” 

Jimmy’s expression turned angry, “if it weren’t for me, you’d be dead!”

“Well, at least I’d be with my family!” Beth yelled back. 

“Whoa, okay, calm down.” Rick stepped in between them, Jimmy’s face was angrier that Beth had ever seen but she wasn’t backing down. These people were armed, prepared and could handle themselves and Jimmy wanted to leave them? No chance. “Now why don’t we go back to that house over there, and we can discuss this calmly?” 

Beth nodded and Jimmy agreed reluctantly. Rick led the group back towards the house and the young kid, Duane, fell in step with her. 

* * *

Beth studied Rick as he and Morgan spoke with Jimmy. Rick was particularly good looking for a man so much older than her. He had blue eyes, brown hair, an attractive face, but he also had something else, a confidence and charisma that Beth felt drawn to. Plus, his story relayed to her by the friendly and talkative Duane tugged at her heartstrings. He woke up from a coma in a hospital after the world had fallen, he had no clue what was happening until he met Morgan, and now he was on a quest to find his son. And wife. Beth could not help but feel the tiniest bit jealous of his wife. Jealous of the devotion that Rick felt for her, Beth had never experienced anything like that in her short life. If Jimmy had not been working on her daddy’s farm for extra cash Beth never would have tried to seek him out after her mama and brother were bit. 

Jimmy must have finally seen reason after talking with Rick and Morgan. He sulked as he walked back to her and took a seat next to her at the table she and Duane were sitting at. 

“Mr. Grimes?” Beth spoke up hesitantly as Rick and Morgan walked up as well. 

“Please, call me Rick,” He said and smiled at her encouragingly. 

“Um, okay, Rick,” Beth paused, her daddy had always taught her to treat adults with respect so it felt weird to her to address someone she didn’t know so casually. “Could we… could we go back to my family’s farm?” Rick didn’t answer right away so Beth forged on, “You see, we have an orchard and a vegetable garden, and we have extra fuel stored for the farming equipment. Even if… even if no one is there it’d still be a good place to stop for supplies.” Beth was proud of her argument. 

Rick, who was leagues more tolerable than Jimmy, nodded at her words. “You make a strong case. But you said it was swarmed over by walkers, right?”

“It was… but if we know, going in, we can sneak in, or something.” Beth fumbled. 

Rick glanced over at Morgan, who shrugged back at him. “How about this, we stay the rest of the day here, keep clearing houses in the area for supplies, and tomorrow we head back to your farm?” Rick suggested. 

Beth nodded eagerly, “Thank you sir—Rick--thank you!” She beamed up at him. 

* * *

There were still walkers on the farm. 

Not in the great quantity that had swarmed the grounds a few days ago, but just a few stragglers. The main herd must have kept moving, pursuing either Beth and Jimmy or perhaps anyone else who survived. Morgan declined to come until Rick gave an ‘all clear’ so he and Duane were in the Jeep about half a mile down the drive, parked with a truck that Rick had taken from one of the farms they had scavenged the day before. Rick, taking extra precautions, had also made Beth and Jimmy wear clothes of walkers over their own clothes, they stank something horrible all covered in decaying flesh, blood and other unidentifiable substances. Beth had thrown up after putting the clothing on, but Rick had a theory that the walkers would be slower to detect them and since they were heading into an area possibly crawling with walkers Beth agreed with his plan. Jimmy had whined a bit (while turning a shade of green) before going along after Rick told him he could stay behind with Morgan and Duane. Jimmy said he would not leave Beth alone but Beth kind of wished he would. Jimmy was refusing to leave her alone with these unknown people but Beth thought he was being ridiculous: Rick was a cop, Duane was a kid, and Morgan was an overprotective father. 

The three of them walked across the farm slowly towards the farmhouse. Beth could see about five walkers spread out, wandering slowly and aimlessly, they all seemed to be missing limbs. How had they all been so stupid to think that they were still people? Beth felt tears pricking her eyes but she did her best to suppress them. The barn looked untouched. Beth could see the heavy chains still on the doors keeping her mother, brother, and neighbors locked in. The chicken coop fencing had been torn into, there were no chickens left, just blood and feathers. She paused for a moment, mourning the dead chickens and the unknown fate of the rest of her family. Beth had no desire to investigate the few bloody corpses that scattered the grounds, she didn’t want to see Patricia like that, and she knew she wouldn’t be able to handle it if she saw her daddy or Maggie as a lifeless corpse or shambling as a walker. 

Beth felt a heavy hand land on her shoulder and she jumped slightly, startled. She looked up expecting to see Jimmy but Rick looked down at her with sad, blue eyes. He squeezed her shoulder to comfort her before speaking, “I’m sorry, Beth.” 

Beth nodded. It had been a silly hope that her daddy or sister would miraculously be here, one born from a silly girl. Of course no one was around. There had been hundreds of walkers emerging from the woods, if anyone else survived they did it by not sticking around. If. Just thinking the word stung Beth. _If_. She took a deep breath and let it out slowly. Her tears were still pricking at her eyes and a single traitorous tear leaked out and ran down her cheek. She wiped it away quickly with her fingers. 

“There’s… there was fuel for the tractors and cars in the stable. A couple of 20 gallon containers. And… and I think some of the vegetables will be salvageable.” Beth gestured weakly towards the garden not far away. 

Rick nodded and moved away. Beth immediately missed the comforting weight and warmth of his hand. They moved as quickly as they dared to not set off the wandering walkers. Rick killed one with a hunting knife that curiously wandered too close as Beth and Jimmy stuffed two duffel bags with everything from the garden that was edible. 

They then slowly trekked to the stable. The horses were gone, Beth hoped they had run away and had not been a meal. But the fuel storage was untouched so Rick called Morgan over the walkie-talkie and five minutes later Morgan’s jeep rumbled onto the scene. The fuel was quickly loaded, the noise of the vehicle was bringing the shambling walkers their way, but Rick and Morgan were quick and efficient and before one walker got within twenty feet they were ready and taking off. 

  
Beth watched her farm recede through the window. Jimmy tried to comfort her by slipping an arm around her shoulders but she shrugged him off with a glare. She was not still mad at him, not really, Jimmy had just been trying to keep them both alive, but Beth did not want his touch regardless. She wanted her father, her sister, her brother, and her mother. She pressed her forehead against the cool window glass and mourned. 

* * *


	2. Chapter 2

* * *

**Chapter Two**

* * *

Rick parked the truck in front of Patton’s bar. It was on the corner of the main intersection of town and Beth peered out at the familiar yet ghostly buildings. It was weird seeing the town she grew up in looking so desolate. Maggie had gone into town on a few occasions for supplies but Beth hadn’t ventured off the farm until it was overrun. Morgan pulled his jeep up alongside the truck and the five slowly exited their vehicles, watching to see if the sound of their vehicles drew in any walkers, but none appeared. 

Gathering supplies went smoothly but there was not much left. They took a few common medications from the pharmacy, the small grocers had mostly been cleaned out of canned and dry goods but they found a few salvageable items. Rick and Morgan were packing up what they had managed to find in the bed of the truck when they heard an engine. Beth felt a pang of hope surge through her, was it her daddy? Otis? She left her spot of safety beside Duane and rushed to where Rick and Morgan were to get a better look, but the car that swung into view was not one she recognized. 

Rick and Morgan were standing with her at the tailgate while Duane was sitting in the passenger seat of his dad’s jeep and Jimmy was standing at the front of the two vehicles keeping watch for walkers. Rick tugged Beth back behind him as the car stopped a few yards away in the middle of the street. 

“Well, look at this!” The driver laughed as he climbed out. 

“It’s been awhile since we saw any new faces.” Another other man agreed as he got out of the passenger seat. 

“Well, new alive faces.” The driver corrected. He was average height, brown hair and eyes, with a goatee. The other man was very large, sweaty and wore several chains around his neck. They both had accents from up north that Beth was not sure about, Jersey? Boston? 

“Same here,” Rick nodded in greeting. Morgan just frowned at the newcomers and reached for his rifle he had set down on the tailgate. 

“Easy now, we mean no harm. My name is Dave, this ugly fellow is Tony.” Dave gave them a friendly smile but it did not seem genuine to Beth. Something seemed off about them to her, they gave her a weird vibe that she did not understand. 

“Rick Grimes, this is Morgan, Beth, Jimmy and Duane.” Rick spoke for the group and Morgan seemed content to just glare suspiciously at the newcomers. 

“Beth… well, ain’t you pretty sight for sore eyes.” Beth shrank further behind Rick as Tony leered at her. She was relieved when Rick’s hand fell to his Python. Clearly Rick was not going to trust these men as easily as he had trusted her and Jimmy.

“Whoa, Tony, don’t you go scaring people. Sorry, he has no manners.” Dave held up his hands to placate Rick and Morgan. But he still gave Beth an approving look that had Beth more than uneasy. “We’ve got a group of people as well that we’re travelling with. You guys just passing through?” Dave nodded to the two vehicles that were obviously full of supplies. 

“Ain’t nothing here,” Rick answered affirmatively. “You said you’re part of a group?” 

“Yeah, we’ve got about 35 people now, we’ve been collecting all different types of people on the road. We drove down here from Philly. We haven’t seen many people in Georgia though, only a young kid we picked a week back. We have women and children too.” It did not sound like they had Rick’s family with them, and Beth hoped that Rick wouldn’t want to join these people. Dave was putting on a nice face but it felt fake and Tony kept glancing at her like she was a meal. 

“Philly is a long ways away. Where you headin’?” Rick asked. 

Dave shrugged and leaned back against the hood of his car. “No destination... We tried Fort Benning a few weeks ago, it was a bust. Some of us have been thinking about finding a nice farm ‘round these parts.” 

“Plenty of land out here but be careful. Only a few days ago a big herd of ‘em walkers came through the area.” 

“You familiar with the area? You sound like a local.” Dave’s gaze seemed calculating but he still wore an easy smile.

“Nope, just passin’ through. We were in Atlanta but it’s all gone.” Rick’s tone was polite but he wasn’t friendly, his posture still stiff and Beth felt her heart pounding even though she couldn’t say why. 

“We should team up, you all look capable. Plus, safety in numbers and all that.” Dave’s voice was smooth, and Beth saw Rick’s shoulders tense. He still had his hand on his gun too. 

Rick shook his head, “Sorry, but we’ll pass. We’re not looking to stay in the area.” 

“You sure about that? You’ve got some kids with ya, they’ll be safer in our camp.” Tony spoke up again, but the way he said camp made Beth feel like she would be safer anywhere but in their camp. 

“We said no.” Morgan finally spoke, his voice a low warning. The rifle was still in his hands but it was pointed at the ground. 

“All right, all right, we mean no harm.” Dave straightened up and walked a few paces towards the bar.

Beth then noticed that Tony had a gun in his hand that he was holding casually. Rick turned slightly to keep both men in his sight. “You know how to use that?” Rick asked and gestured at Tony with the hand not on his gun. 

Tony scoffed, “Of course. This beauty Dave took off a cop.”

“I’m a cop,” Rick replied in what had to be his cop voice. He was in jeans and a flannel today, but he still had an authoritative air in his stance.

“He was a dead cop.” Tony’s casual scorn had Beth inching backwards a bit, she wished she was with Duane in the Jeep, or out of sight in the truck. 

Dave interrupted and changed the subject, he must have picked up on their unease, “any drinks left in the bar?” 

“We didn’t go in. It’s all yours.” Rick offered. “We’ll be taking off now.” 

“What’s the rush? Why not have some drinks with us?” Dave opened his arms in a welcoming gesture. 

Rick shook his head, “Sorry.” 

“That’s an awful lot of supplies you all have, where’ve you been looking?” Tony asked. 

As Rick’s attention was drawn back to Tony, Dave reached behind his back and pulled out a gun. Rick noticed the movement and without hesitation drew his python and fired. Rick hit Dave with a headshot and Tony, shocked at Rick’s sudden move, fumbled with his gun while Rick turned and shot him in the chest. Duane screamed and ran for his dad, Jimmy ran forward yelling and Beth burrowed into Rick’s back. Her heart was pounding in fear but she didn’t feel afraid of Rick. Morgan retreated with his son to calm him down and Rick turned to Beth to soothe her. Beth nodded that she was okay and Rick walked forward to grab the guns from the bodies. 

“What the—why did you do that?” Jimmy cried. “They seemed like nice guys!” 

“Nice guys?” Beth exclaimed in disbelief. 

“They wanted our supplies and they wanted Beth,” Rick replied calmly as he checked the magazines on both guns. “I wasn’t letting them have either.” Beth felt a sense of relief wash over her at Rick’s words. His tone was so sure, like his words were fact. Jimmy looked mildly chastised. 

“You did the right thing Rick,” Morgan agreed. Duane was calmer now, but still looked scared. “I was about to do the same thing.”

“We should get out of here quickly, we don’t know if their friends will be showing up lookin’ for ‘em.” Rick stood and took the two guns to the cab of the truck where he had his sheriff’s duffel bag full of weapons. The others agreed and soon everyone was loaded back in the two vehicles and back on the road.

* * *

They did not drive far. Beth suggested they stop at the Miller farm about five miles outside of the town. Most of the Millers were locked inside her family’s barn so she knew the farm would be relatively safe. The house had been locked up until Rick jimmied a window open and the house was walker free. Everyone stayed inside the house except for Rick who was out taking a sweep of the grounds.

Now that they had a moment to stop and think Beth did not know how to describe what she was feeling. The Miller house had been a terrible idea, the house was laid out differently than her family’s own but everything reminded her of the house she grew up in. They even had the same edition of the Bible. The innocuous book sent a pang through her chest and her eyes burned as she held back tears as she thought of her father. Her daddy had been—and was not thinking in the past tense painful—a very religious and devote man. What would her father think of Rick? 

Rick had killed two men right in front of her. It had all happened so quick, one minute they were alive and the next they were not. But that man, Tony, had looked at her like she was not a person but like she was an object to possess. Beth had felt a completely new fear that she had never experienced before. Beth knew she had grown up sheltered with her overprotective father and older siblings, but even she knew what terrible things those men could have done to her. Was she already so jaded that she thought the worst of people? That it was okay to kill someone? Someone that they didn’t have concrete proof that he was bad? Or had not done anything wrong yet? What if those men had only wanted to rob them, was that a crime punishable by death now? 

Beth shook herself from her spiraling thoughts. Rick had been a cop. Rick was _still_ a cop just without a functioning justice system. He knew what was right and wrong. Rick had taken them in, and she believed that if they found other good people Rick would take them in too. She had to trust Rick to do the right thing. 

Still, it would not hurt to have a reminder of all the good her father had preached, so Beth took the Miller’s family bible and packed it into her bag before heading off to salvage anything from the kitchen. 

* * *

"Beth... why are you taking a frying pan? I think you need to stick with the bat. Or a shovel." Jimmy looked skeptical as Beth inspected the heavy, cast-iron skillet. Jimmy had been on hunting trips with his dad since he was twelve so after a quick safety lesson with Rick he had been entrusted a rifle and had given his bat to Beth. That had been before they returned to the Greene farm and Jimmy still had not had a chance to use it yet.

They were still in the Miller’s farmhouse and Rick had not returned yet, not that Beth was keeping track. Much. "I'm not using it for a weapon, I'm using it for cooking." 

"Cooking?" Jimmy seemed to not grasp the idea and Beth rolled her eyes. 

"I don't know about you but I'm tired of eating lukewarm canned food." Plus the Miller’s used gas much like her own family had so the stove should work just fine. 

"Beth has a point," Morgan spoke up. Beth started a little, she had not heard him approach and she mentally berated herself, she had to start paying more attention to her surroundings. "A good meal could go a long way to improving morale." 

“What’s this about food?” Duane asked as he popped around the corner after his dad. He had found one of the Miller boys’ comic book stash and already seemed to be in a much more cheerful mood. Morgan raised his eyebrows like a ‘I-told-you-so’ look. 

They were interrupted by three sharp raps on the front door signaling Rick’s return. Beth did not realize how tense she was until Rick cautiously opened the door and her shoulders eased. 

“We good?” Morgan asked, his voice was serious again. 

Rick nodded, “Just a few stragglers. I took care of ‘em. I also found an orchard.” Rick held up a bag. 

Beth knew that the Millers did not have an apple orchard, so she eagerly approached Rick and peeked into the bag. “Peaches! My favorite!” She cried in triumph and Rick handed over the bag with a small smile. And Beth, before she could stop herself, leaned up on her tippy toes and planted a quick kiss on Rick’s cheek. She wanted to thank him for more than just finding peaches. She wanted to thank him for taking in her and Jimmy and then protecting them from walkers and humans alike. She blushed as she stepped away from Rick and avoided looking at Rick’s surprised face or Jimmy’s disgruntled look. 

Perhaps peach cobbler would be a better way to thank him. And with that thought Beth rushed back to the kitchen while babbling about cobbler.

* * *


	3. Chapter 3

* * *

**Chapter Three**

* * *

‘Another day, another dollar’ had been a phrase Rick’s father had been fond of using when his mother would ask how his father’s day had been. Rick’s father had been a sheriff, just like Rick had been aiming for. His old life felt like a lifetime ago. Now, Rick’s mind warped the phrase to ‘Another day, another dead end.’ No signs of his family or any other living person.

The house they were taking refuge in for the night was the most unsavory yet. Whoever had lived here had been a slob and in the two months the house had been left stagnant it had grown worse. But the smell of rotting food and mildew was better than the smell of rotting human remains, and the cramped house had been walker-free. 

Rick watched Duane and Jimmy with their heads close together as they quietly discussed the newest comics Jimmy had found for Duane. Jimmy was explaining why there were so many different Robins while there was only one Batman and Duane’s open and excited face reminded Rick so much of Carl. 

Some days were tougher than others. Some days he missed Carl so badly that it physically hurt, a clenching fear would fill his chest and just drawing a breath was painful. Duane would smile or laugh and Rick would wonder if his son was smiling and laughing or was he somehow incapable of laughing. The whole state of Georgia stretched before Rick, barren but for the dead, and Carl could be anywhere.

Rick pushed the group to keep moving, to cover more ground and explore all their surroundings. People like Dave and Tony could not be the only survivors of this new world. Carl was out there somewhere. But the unknown state that Carl was in preyed on Rick’s mind whenever he would take a moment to rest. Was he a decaying corpse rotting in the sun? A walking creature thirsting for flesh? Was he with Lori? Was he alone and with strangers? Some days only the thought of Duane would keep him going. If he could keep Duane and Morgan safe and happy, then maybe a stranger was doing the same for Lori and Carl. 

It was a bit easier now, with Jimmy and Beth in their small group. He had two more people to keep safe and protected. The extra work kept his mind from imagining all the terrible situations his son could be in. 

“But what about Batgirl?” Duane’s newest question set Jimmy off on a new tangent and Rick smiled at the older teen. Jimmy wasn’t the sharpest tool in the shed but his heart was in the right place. He tried to act mature but it only revealed how much of a kid he still truly was. 

Rick’s eyes traveled over to Beth. She was sitting a few feet away from Jimmy and Duane but her eyes were distant as she stared off unseeingly at peeling wallpaper. A bible was sitting in her lap but the book was closed. Her cheerful mood from a few days before was gone and Rick found himself missing her bright smile and even her unexpected kiss. 

Rick could not remember the last time he had human contact, besides Duane hitting him over the head with a shovel. He was constantly around the group, he and Morgan decided quickly that one of them would always be with the others but actual contact was rare. Beth’s soft touch had been a soothing balm on Rick’s fraying nerves. It had anchored him to the moment.

Rick found himself missing Lori. They had argued the day he was shot, and multiple times before the accident. Well, Lori had argued and Rick thought he was being good by not arguing back but that seemed to only make her angrier. But he missed what he and Lori had shared in the beginning of their relationship. He missed having her comforting presence always at his side. He missed the casual touch of her hand on his arm, or her bumping his shoulder playfully. And he definitely missed having a warm body to curl around while drifting off to sleep. 

Rick shook himself from his wandering thoughts. Human contact and comfort were not on his list of priorities. He needed to keep his people safe and he needed to find his son. Rick’s newly determined gaze rested on Beth again and her somber look had him making an addendum to his list: get Beth to smile again. 

* * *

Beth’s first encounter with a large herd left her family either dead or to some other unknown fate. Her second encounter with a large group almost two weeks later did not go much better. 

They were in a small town, not too far east from the one she grew up in. They were split into two groups: Morgan and Duane were staying close to the jeep scouting a hardware store while Rick was keeping an eye on her and Jimmy further down the main street looking for useful shops. They only had one vehicle, Rick had suggested leaving the truck at the house they spent the previous night in while they scouted the area, it was a risk that someone would stumble upon their truck and supplies, but gas was a finite resource and they were trying to conserve what they had. So far they had yet to see any walkers besides the few that had been drawn to the noise of Morgan’s jeep. Rick and Morgan had put them down swiftly and soundlessly.

Rick wasn’t staying too close to her and Jimmy, but he seemed to be keeping them in his eye line so Beth was doing the same by making sure Rick was always in her peripheral. Jimmy was not. “C’mon, Beth, just five minutes, we sneak in that store and have some alone time. Five minutes.” 

Beth was beyond irritated. “Dead people are trying to eat us and you want to sneak away and make out?” Beth hissed at Jimmy. She did not want Rick to overhear how dumb Jimmy’s idea was. 

“C’mon, just a few minutes? We haven’t been alone since…” Jimmy trailed off. 

“Since my family’s farm?” Beth huffed. And he wondered why Beth did not want to be alone with Jimmy? Had he always been so immature? Was she going to be stuck with him for the rest of her life? That sounded awful, but there were not many options left in the world. How does one break up with their boyfriend when they can never escape their presence? Beth glanced over at Rick, he was about twenty feet ahead of them investigating a store with a broken glass front. She was not crushing on a guy twice her age while her boyfriend begged for a make out session. Nope. 

“C’mon Beth, I think we would both feel better,” Jimmy pleaded again. 

“No,” Beth’s tone was firm and resolute. She wasn’t going out of Rick’s eyesight. Crush aside, she had yet to kill a walker without Rick’s help and she was loathed to start now. 

“Fine,” Jimmy huffed and stomped off. He marched passed Rick, who shot Jimmy and then Beth a curious glance. 

Beth rolled her eyes at Jimmy’s childishness before following after him. She never did like to have people upset with her. “Jimmy, c’mon, don’t act like that,” she called as she hurried after him. Maybe she would compromise for a quick kiss. Jimmy stopped at the opening of an alley and Beth caught up to him. “I’m sorry, okay, please don’t be angry with me. I’m just scared.” 

Jimmy nodded and gave her a hopeful look. He stepped closer to her, so they were only inches apart but before Jimmy could request they sneak away again a snarl interrupted them. 

There was a group of walkers in the alley they were standing in front of, huddled around what looked to be the remains of a dog, and now their attention was fixed on Beth and Jimmy. How the hell had they missed _that_? The closest lurched towards them, its decaying hands reaching for its next meal. 

Beth did not realize she shrieked until Jimmy, in his panic, pushed her out of his way. Beth hit the pavement hard, her wrists jarred, and her fight or flight instincts deserted her as she stared up at the approaching hungry walkers. The first walker was only a few steps away from her now, and all Beth could think about was Patricia and how she had screamed when a walker had bitten into her. 

Strong arms pulled her from the ground and her memory, and Rick's voice spurred her into moving. Rick shot the walker that was only steps away with his python and the loud gunshot rang in Beth's ears. Rick's grip shifted so he held one of her arms as they both started to run back towards the Jeep. Rick's gunshot had awakened every walker in the surrounding area. In front of them Jimmy was ten yards ahead running fast when a walker burst through a glass storefront to his right. Jimmy startled and tripped over a bike rack and landed hard on his side. Rick did not stop to help him, just yelled, "get on your feet!' at Jimmy. Rick’s grip stayed firm on Beth's arm and Beth could not help but feel relieved that Rick didn't leave her. 

Beth could see Morgan at the Jeep, the vehicle was running and he was waiving at them to run faster. More walkers filed into the street but then she was at the jeep, Rick all but tossed her into the backseat. He turned around and started towards Jimmy but it was too late. Jimmy was still on the ground, he had two walkers hovering above him. Beth could see that one of them had a mouthful of Jimmy's flesh and Jimmy's cries were drawing more of the walkers. There were too many walkers between the jeep and Jimmy and Rick fired a few shots, aim impeccable, before Morgan yelled at him to get into the jeep. Rick cursed, looked torn at leaving someone behind but Jimmy was gone. 

Beth pulled Duane into her chest to keep the young teen from looking back at Jimmy. He was already crying and Beth could feel tears pricking in her own eyes, warring with the heart pounding fear in her chest. But then Rick was in the jeep and Morgan floored the gas pedal. The tires screeched as the vehicle took off down the road swerving to avoid even more walkers. 

Rick looked back at Beth, eyes full of guilt and voice hoarse, "Beth, I'm sorry."

* * *


	4. Chapter 4

* * *

**Chapter** **Four**

* * *

Jimmy’s death was a wakeup call for Beth. Before, she had existed in a numb state of grief and denial and she had wondered several times what the point of trying was. But there in the back of Morgan’s jeep, with Duane clutched to her chest and Rick’s blue eyes full of sorrow, Beth realized how much she wanted to survive. To live. And so far, she hadn’t put much effort into either. 

Beth was not too sad about Jimmy’s death. She thought she should be, he was her first serious boyfriend, her first kiss, and he had treated her well up until they left the farm. She thought it had more to do with Beth losing her entire family in one night, her grief was still overwhelming from that night so Jimmy’s loss paled in comparison. It also did not help that she hadn’t felt any affection for him in weeks and he had almost gotten her killed.

Her eyes strayed over to Rick, he had come back for her and pulled her to safety in the face of the oncoming group of walkers. She had frozen in her panic but he hadn’t hesitated in snatching her into his side and firing into the oncoming herd. Beth had felt a little vindictive, which she now regretted, when Jimmy had tripped and Rick didn’t stopped to help him. Not until Beth was securely in the Jeep did he turn around for Jimmy but by then it was too late. 

No one had really spoken in the past two days since Jimmy’s death, and when they did it was hardly above a whisper. The four of them had spent the night in a shed sleeping on musty blankets and now they were preparing for another day searching for survivors and safety. Beth finally speaking up caught everyone’s attention. “Rick, I want to learn how to shoot and fight,” Beth’s voice was full of determination. 

Rick studied Beth a moment to gage how serious she truly was and Beth met his gaze with a confidence she didn’t know she had. “Alright,” he nodded in agreement, “Duane should learn too.” 

Morgan looked distraught for a moment, he looked like he wanted to hide his son from the world but he must have known how futile his hope was because a moment later he nodded in agreement. 

Rick did not waste any time, and nearly an hour later the four of them were in an open field not far from the shed. In front of Beth was a limping walker in pitiful condition. It was easier to think of it as not a person with how decayed it was already. Rick studied it and seemed to approve as he nodded and turned to face Beth and an eager Duane. Morgan lurked behind him watching their surroundings. 

Rick did not hand Beth a gun like she expected, he handed her his fierce looking hunting knife instead. Beth looked at the blade and then Rick with a look of disbelief. “Guns should be a last resort. They’re loud and will draw unwanted attention, plus ammo isn’t infinite. I want you two to learn how to take them out quietly.” 

It made sense, but Beth was still doubtful. She studied the walker in front of her, he was still a handful of yards out and even limping it was taller than her and towered over Duane. “But it’s bigger than me,” she replied dubiously. 

Rick nodded, “I want you to knock him to the ground. Then gravity will be on your side.” 

Beth stared at Rick and then the walker in disbelief. She really did not want to get close enough to knock it to the ground let alone stab it in the head. Duane did not share in Beth’s aversion. He brandished Jimmy’s bat before running forward a few steps and whacking the walker in the kneecaps. “Duane!” Beth shrieked as the walker started to topple forward but Duane nimbly skipped out of the way as the walker crashed onto its face. It had no instincts left to brace itself for the fall. Beth darted forward, thinking more about Duane and how close he was to the grasping walker still and sank the knife into the back of its skull. The snarling and flailing died immediately and Beth stared down at her handiwork in surprise. She had done it. 

Rick came to stand at her side. Beth glanced up at him and blushed in embarrassment at his proud smile. She had barely done anything. She had not even been fully aware of her actions until the thing was already dead. But she supposed that this was progress, last time a walker had been right in front of her she had frozen, her instincts abandoning her. 

“Great job. Now this time, I want Beth to knock it down and Duane to finish it,” as Rick spoke, he gestured to another walker further in the field. Duane nodded eagerly and Rick placed a hand on his shoulder to keep him from charging off. “Let it come to you, conserve your energy and strength, you never know when you’ll need it.” Duane nodded and he held out the bat for Beth to take. She exchanged the knife for the bat and held it nervously as the snarling walker approached them. 

This one was steadier on its feet, and faster. And Beth’s heart rate spiked as she watched it draw near. Rick’s low, “now,” in her ear spurred her forward and she swung the bat hard enough to make even her middle school gym teacher proud. She missed the knees, but the force of the blow sent the walker stumbling backward and it tripped and landed on its back. Duane ran forward and sank the blade in to an eye socket.

Rick nodded in approval, his smile combined with his blue eyes was a sight not to be missed. Beth could not help but feel exhilarated. Between Rick’s encouragement and the feeling of not being helpless, she had never felt so alive. She grinned back at Rick and his smile only widened in return.

* * *

Now that it was just the four of them they settled into a steady routine. The group was small but they worked well together. Rick and Morgan were the main fighters, they both had good aim and were physically strong enough to easily take walkers one-on-one with a weapon. Beth was quick, she was particularly good at avoiding walkers and even at going unnoticed by them. Duane was picking up shooting fast, faster than Beth and he did not complain when he was helping Beth with food or washing clothes or dishes. 

Beth was pretty sure the others would have starved without her. Some things they were hilariously clueless to, Rick and Morgan wanted to raid stores and get nonperishables, which was fine, but they were in rural Georgia, so she had them raiding farms for fruits, nuts, and vegetables. Even though winter was nearly upon them they were still edible plants growing. She also knew how to butcher chickens and find unspoiled eggs, she knew how to preserve meat and how to keep it lasting as long as possible. Cows didn’t seem to have any self-preservation instincts but chickens seemed to be adept at avoiding walkers as long as there wasn’t a herd. So chickens, while still rare, were still a viable food option. 

She also made them gather practical things like coolers, reusable icepacks, and batteries. She even tracked down a crank radio and crank flashlight in a hardware store. The radio was nothing but static but they still turned it on every night and scanned the frequencies. 

Beth liked to keep track of the passage of time. She had a calendar that she meticulously ticked off the days in and noted the group’s location and any events of note. And soon it was November and Beth’s birthday was fast approaching. Beth had drawn balloons in the corner of the calendar to note the occasion but she hadn’t planned on sharing with the others that it was her birthday. Not until Duane guessed it after glancing over her shoulder one night while she had the calendar out. Duane, ignoring Beth’s protests, eagerly shared the news with Morgan and Rick. Rick and Morgan agreed with Duane that they would throw Beth the best party they could, ignoring her objections. 

In any other circumstances, Beth’s birthday feast would have been a sad sight, but after so much time on the run and scavenging for food her little feast was glorious. There were canned peaches and pineapple, a can of spaghettiOs, a bag of beef jerky, a bag of Cheetos, and dessert consisted of roasted pecans, a jar of marshmallow fluff, and hostess cupcakes. Morgan and Duane gave her a matching scarf and knitted hat and Rick presented her with a blank notebook and pack of pens. 

“We’ll do anything you’d like today,” Rick told her after she modeled her new scarf and hat. 

“Anything?” Beth asked with a curious smile. 

“Well, anything we can actually do,” Morgan amended Rick’s statement. “I doubt there’s any still functioning theme parks or movie theaters.” 

Beth thought back to her sixteenth birthday, her family had gone into Atlanta to catch _Wicked_ on stage and her mother had taken her shopping before the show for a nice dress. It was starting to hurt less when she thought of happier times from Before. Thinking of her family drew her thoughts to the barn on her family’s farm. Her mother and brother could still be trapped in there as mindless walkers. Beth knew that if she was ever bit that she wouldn’t want to become one of those _things_. What did her momma think, up in heaven watching her walking corpse ready to eat a person if given the opportunity? Her momma and brother deserved better. 

“I want to go back to my family’s farm,” Beth started quietly. “There’s ... there’s something I need to do and... I need help to do it.” Rick frowned at her request, Beth could see the worry in her eyes. “My daddy... he didn’t think the walkers were dead. He thought that there would be a cure so... when people were bit—when my mother and brother were bit, we didn’t kill them. They’re locked inside the barn.” Rick and Morgan’s faces were practically mirrors of shock. “My momma... she wouldn’t want to be a monster. I want to put her and my brother to rest.” 

Rick was silent for a while before nodding his assent. 

It took a few hours to get back to the farm, between Rick’s thorough search for other survivors and the large herds boxing them in, they had not gotten too far from her home. There were not any walkers in sight as Rick parked the truck and Morgan parked the Jeep halfway between the house and barn. Beth thought Rick looked a bit like an action movie star with his serious look of determination, a duffle of weapons slung over his shoulder, his python in his holster, and heavy-duty bolt cutters in one hand. 

"How many are in there?" Rick asked in a low tone as the four of them walk cautiously towards the barn. 

"I don't know. Otis would put whoever he crossed paths with in the barn. I never... visited. But there's a hayloft with a ladder along the side," Beth gestured to the southern wall of the barn where there was ladder to the loft. They stop about fifteen feet from the doors and the heavy chain was still holding the doors closed. Beth could not hear any moaning but the walkers inside probably haven’t realized there were living people outside yet. 

"I'll check out the loft," Rick nodded as he set down the duffle and bolt cutters. 

"We'll wait here," Morgan kept his voice low and Duane hovered behind his father. Beth watched Rick anxiously as he moved quietly around the side of the barn. The three of them stood in silence until a sudden snarl broke out in the barn and soon several joined in. Beth and Morgan exchanged an anxious look. 

Just when Beth had resolved to go find out what happened to Rick, he walked around corner. "Is everything okay?" Beth asked in an uneasy whisper. 

Rick nodded, "One of 'em noticed me when I was counting how many there are. Then that one set 'em all off. But I've got an idea," Rick started and then explained his plan. He wanted only Morgan and himself to shoot the walkers in the barn from the hay loft while Duane and Beth watched for walkers being drawn to the noise of the guns. 

Beth protested at first, this was her family, her neighbors and friends. "Rick, I can do this. This is my family, this is my responsibility.” 

Rick placed a hand on Beth’s shoulder, has hand squeezed comfortingly and his eyes were serious as he met her gaze. “I know you can handle this, but you don’t have to. No one should have to.” Beth felt a wave of emotion overcome her at Rick’s words. It was not that he didn’t think she could handle it, but he didn’t want her to have to live with her actions. She wanted her mother and brother to be put to rest but Rick wanted to spare her the pain of having to end her own family. Beth nodded gratefully. Rick placed a light kiss on her hairline, it was more just a brush of his lips, but it sent Beth’s heart racing all the same. How had she been lucky enough to find the best man left in the world? He protected her without question and did his best to spare her any pain. She was sure she would never find a better man. A man who was devoted to his missing wife. 

Beth took a deep breath as Morgan and Rick talked the plan over quietly. “It’s gonna be okay, Beth,” Duane spoke up from her side. He had a small, appreciative smile on his face as he continued, “Rick... he took care of my mama too. Daddy... he just couldn’t.” 

Beth pulled Duane into a hug. She did not know that Duane had lost his mother just like she had lost hers. Duane squeezed her back and they stayed together until Morgan asked if they were okay. Duane and Beth pulled apart and shared a small smile before nodding and they followed Rick and Morgan to the side of the barn. 

Beth and Duane stayed at the bottom of the ladder as Rick and Morgan climbed up into the hayloft. They stood back to back but a few feet between them so they could keep an eye on all their surroundings. At the first gunshot Beth jumped. She was suddenly awfully glad that Rick didn’t want her to see, she did her best to remember everyone how they had been. She thought of her momma baking while blaring The Beatles in the kitchen and singing along at the top of her lungs. She thought of Shawn and how after one of the older neighbor boys made her cry one day Shawn chased the kid down and pushed him into a pile of manure even though the boy was twice as big as Shawn. 

After several long, tense minutes the shooting stopped. Nothing moved from the tree line or on the rest of the farm. Beth took in a deep breath, the cold air burned her lungs but it felt good. Rick and Morgan were clambering down a moment later and Rick put his rifle back in the duffle and picked back up the bolt cutters. The group walked back to the doors and once again Beth and Duane stood back as Rick cut off the chain and Morgan held his gun aloft, ready for any walkers they may have missed. Rick opened the doors, they creaked ominously but there was no other noise. And after a few tense moments no walkers emerged. Rick went in cautiously and Morgan watched his back from the doorway. Rick emerged again a few minutes later with three shovels. They rotated as they dug for a good two hours, three people digging graves while one person stood watch and then all four of them helped carry bodies with a tarp Rick found in the barn. Still no new walkers appeared. 

The sun was starting to set when all the graves had been filled in again. Beth was exhausted, she was sweaty and dirty, but she felt lighter. She was glad the others had agreed to do this. It was sad to say good-bye to her family, but it was cathartic and she was glad for the closure. The four of them stood silently over the graves. The last grave had been the toughest. Beth had not known the little girl that they buried there but she had been young, probably around Duane’s age (and Carl’s age, given how Rick rubbed at his eyes). The others looked just as exhausted as Beth felt. 

“ _When I find myself in times of trouble, Mother Mary comes to me..._ ” Beth started to sing. The Beatles had been her mother’s favorite band and so she sang Let It Be, she sang soft and slow, closing her eyes and picturing her mother’s smile. As soon as she sang the last, “ _let it be_ ,” Rick pulled her into a crushing hug. Beth held onto Rick tightly as she felt tears that she had been holding back finally cascade down her cheeks. 

The four of them stood there over the graves, Rick holding Beth and Morgan with an arm around Duane, until the sun set and the world was dark again.

* * *


	5. Chapter 5

* * *

**Chapter Five**

* * *

Being on the road was wearing on them all, but no one complained, not even young Duane. Morgan was the first to finally say something to Rick, one night while he thought Beth and Duane were already asleep. Beth had her back to Rick and Morgan so they could not see that she was awake, the four of them always shared whatever space they were staying in for the night. Beth honestly didn’t mind the lack of privacy, she had tried once to sleep by herself but every noise had her twitching in paranoia. 

Beth was currently going over her mental catalog of their inventory. It was an exercise she did to help herself fall asleep. Morgan’s quiet tone interrupted her thoughts, “Rick, we need to find a place to settle down. It's too dangerous by ourselves always on the road. I know you miss your wife and son _, I know_. But we can't keep this up forever." 

"Morgan, it's just the two of us, Beth and Duane are still kids-" Beth tried not to react being called a kid by Rick. She was seventeen now, hardly a kid. But at the same time she knew what Rick meant, Beth still wasn't comfortable killing walkers. She was perfectly capable, but she still did not like the idea of killing, but of course she would do what was necessary to protect her group. "-there have to be more people out there, people we can trust." 

"There are people out there, sure, but who says we won't run into more people like those Philly boys?" Morgan brought up one of Beth’s biggest fears. She had a recurring nightmare that she and Jimmy had run into Dave’s group instead of Rick. She never screamed or tossed about when she had a nightmare, she would just wake up tense and in a cold sweat with her heart pounding. Usually the sight of Rick or Duane would calm her down, they all slept close to each other especially now with the cold weather. If Rick was asleep Beth would normally scoot as close as she dared to him to seek comfort.

"What if we run into more people like those Philly boys and there's more than two? We were lucky then. Who says we'll be so lucky the next time?" Beth shivered involuntarily at the thought of her nightmare still coming true.

“Rick, I got an idea, and I think it’s one you’ll like.” Beth assumed Rick must have nodded because Morgan continued on, “We should go back to your hometown in King County. When we were there the walkers weren’t that numerous, nothing compared to some of the herds we’ve seen. And wandering blindly around Georgia isn’t going to find your family. They could go back.” 

Rick was silent for a long time, but finally Rick quietly responded, “Alright. It’s a good plan.” 

Beth was afraid they others might be able to hear her heartbeat with how strong it was pounding. They were going to return to Rick’s hometown. She could not believe how selfish she was being, but the thought of Rick reuniting with his wife made her sick. Would she be pushed to the side and forgotten about? Rick was not even hers, he treated her well but platonic and yet here she was jealous of Rick’s wife. What was wrong with her? 

She tried to steady her breathing as Rick settled into the blanket beside her. He was a few feet away, but Beth could still feel his presence against her back. She wondered what Rick would do if she rolled over and curled into his side. She did not think he would push her away, but would he pat her on the head like a child or would he gently tell her his wife was the only woman for him? Could Rick Grimes ever see her as a young woman and let her seek comfort in him or vice versa? Beth did her best to ignore her thoughts and think of the inventory again as she slowly drifted off into an anxious sleep. 

-

Rick surveyed the main street of the town he grew up in. Something seemed off. He was not sure if it was the juxtaposition of his memories of Before with the current ghost town state or if something was actually wrong. Duane called it ‘Rick’s spidey-senses’ whenever Rick had a bad feeling about a place but Rick knew it had more to do with his years as a cop. 

The town looked much like they had left it when Morgan and Duane had packed up and joined him on his trek to Atlanta. They were starting with the sheriff’s office again, they were hopeful the water would still be running, Beth especially. Rick could not help but smile at the memory of Beth’s happy expression at the thought of a shower. Duane had been telling her about his first adventure in King County and Beth’s face had looked blissful at the thought of washing her hair. Beth was such a good sport. Rick couldn’t imagine many teenage girls being so accepting of their situation, but Beth never grumbled about the lack of beauty products or clean clothes. Not that it stopped her from getting excited when they found a house with clothes in Beth’s size. And Rick would do just about anything to see her light up. 

Just two days ago Rick had led Beth into a walk-in closet of a high school girl, judging by the cheerleader uniform and boyband posters. Beth had laughed and pretended to be on a shopping spree and they playfully debated the practicality of killing walkers in a homecoming dress. Rick had almost let her take the purple taffeta creation but they had limited space. Beth hadn’t asked to take it with them but Rick could see the longing in her eyes. Rick wanted to give her a normal life and provide her everything she wanted. Beth kept Rick grounded and gave him a purpose. Morgan and Duane did not need Rick, not like Beth needed him, needed someone that always had her as their first priority. His protectiveness over Beth was different than what he felt for Duane or Morgan, and Rick dreaded what that could possibly mean. Usually when his thoughts strayed on Beth too long he would throw himself into some physically demanding task to distract himself. 

“Rick?” Morgan’s quiet, questioning tone pulled Rick from his thoughts. Rick surveyed the ground around the station, Leon’s decaying corpse was still where Rick had shot him and there were no additional bodies. 

Rick nodded, the off feeling still in his gut, “looks okay.” Rick led the other three into the building, it looked the same as last time they were here and a quick sweep of the building showed the coast was still clear. 

Beth hovered over Rick’s shoulder in the locker room as Rick turned on a showerhead. The pipes groaned and sputtered for a moment but then water poured out of the faucet. Beth whooped and gave Rick a quick, squeezing hug. The water wasn’t clear at first, but a few moments of running water turned the water clear again. 

Beth stuck her hand into the freezing stream and yelped. Rick could not help but chuckle. “I don’t even care,” Beth shook her head, her beaming smile making Rick’s heart take on a funny beat that he did his best to ignore. 

“Ladies first,” Rick gestured towards the water. “I’ll be right outside.” Beth nodded as Rick looked around the locker room one last time for any potential threats before heading out the door. 

Fifteen minutes later the water was still running and Beth was singing a song Rick recognized as a country song Lori used to listen to. Rick was content listening to her sweet voice and he felt so relaxed that he would probably have fallen asleep against the wall if Morgan and Duane hadn’t approached him. Morgan looked worried while Duane seemed oblivious to his dad’s distress. 

“Is she still showering?” Duane asked in exasperation. 

As if on cue the water shut off and Rick grinned down at Duane, “Shouldn’t be too much longer now.” Whatever was bugging Morgan he did not say anything, not until the three of them had showered and Rick took the time to shave. Duane was on the far side of the locker room when Morgan finally leaned in and told Rick quietly, “the armory has been emptied.” 

Morgan kept Beth and Duane distracted as Rick went to check it out. The metal cage door was wide open and the shelves were bare. Rick paused to pick up a single stray bullet. They did not need the weapons, although more ammo couldn’t have hurt. Rick had taken less than half of the supplies in the armory so that meant that someone out there had most of those weapons. Rick’s uneasy feeling came back in full strength. Was it someone he knew from the force, perhaps Shane or Lambert? Or someone worse, someone like Tony or Dave? 

Rick was hesitant to explore the town given his uneasy feeling and the missing armaments but Morgan’s idea to stay in King County was a solid plan. They split into pairs as they explored the main street area, Duane with Morgan and Beth with Rick as usual. There were not any stray walkers in sight but there were plenty of unmoving corpses, someone had definitely been through and probably testing out their newly obtained weapons from the sheriff’s office. Rick did not want Beth stumbling into trouble, not that he had any plans to let her out of his sight. “Beth, we may not be the only living people here. Keep a careful eye out,” he warned. Beth nodded, eyes wide. She gripped her knife in her hand a little tighter. 

Their sweep of the town went without a hitch until the very end. They had just met up with Morgan and Duane again inside the flower shop at the end of the street when a scream pierced the air. Rick was at door in an instant looking for the source. He did not want to just charge out into a possible herd of walkers and then doom the four of them. Morgan was a few steps behind him waiting for his cue. 

It did not take long to find the origin of the scream; a woman, dirty and worn looking, was in the middle of the street begging with three men that stood around her. Before Rick could act one of the men shot the woman in the head. “Shit,” Rick cursed and hastily backed away. “Look for a back door.” Rick hissed and Morgan was already on it, Duane on his heels while Beth hesitated and looked at him, eyes wide with fear. 

“I saw movement at that shop, I knew that bitch was lying when she said she was alone!” A voice rang out from one of the men. 

Rick cursed. One of them had spotted him at the door. They only had a moment, Morgan and Duane were already in the back hall but Beth was still with him. “Beth, go with Morgan,” Rick ordered in a whisper. 

“I’m not leaving you,” Beth looked angry at Rick’s order. 

Rick didn’t have time to argue he could hear approaching footsteps, he grabbed Beth’s arm and propelled her back behind the counter, as he growled “Beth, I can’t lose you. You hear me?” Beth nodded mutely and stayed hidden as Rick rushed back to the windows. Rick grabbed a low, metal display rack and tossed it through the window. Glass shattered and rained down on the approaching men giving Rick an advantage as he launched himself out the window into the oncoming men. 

* * *

Beth stayed down as she heard the glass shatter. Her heart was pounding as she listened to cursing and yelling and the sounds of fighting. Rick said he could not lose her, but Beth knew for a fact that she couldn’t handle another loss in her life. She would not survive if Rick was taken away from her. But she didn’t know how to fight, and while she was decent at killing walkers she didn’t think she had the capacity to kill a living human being. She then remembered there was a pile of two by fours and plywood next to front windows. The owner had probably intended to board up the windows of the shop but never got the chance. 

A gunshot rang out, Rick must have killed one of the men because an unfamiliar voice yelled, “You sonuvabitch! I’ll kill you!” She chanced a quick peek around the counter and couldn’t see the men or Rick. She ran to the window scooping up a two by four along the way and paused for a second to take in the sight of two of the unknown men on the ground, unmoving, but the third was standing over Rick with his gun pointed at Rick. 

Beth did not hesitate and leaped out the window. She swung the piece of wood like a bat and cracked it over man’s head. The blow knocked him to his knees and Rick dove at him. The man rolled and they grappled with each other for the upper hand. Beth hopped back anxiously, she did not think she could get a clear swing at the man without hitting Rick and she also didn’t want them to knock into her. Rick managed to slam the man’s head against the concrete sidewalk and the man finally went limp. 

Not a second later Morgan came around the corner of the building, his rifle aimed and ready. He surveyed the scene, Beth was still clutching the board and Rick was breathing heavily and kneeling on the third man’s chest. “There could be more of them, we should get moving,” Morgan suggested. 

Beth dropped the board, the clattering louder than she anticipated. Rick unsteadily got to his feet and Beth rushed to help him stay steady. One of the men had gotten in a few punches on Rick and his nose was already swelling. “You good?” Morgan asked. 

Rick nodded but wrapped an arm around Beth’s shoulders to help steady himself. “If there’s more of them they heard the extra shot and will come lookin’,” Rick agreed. 

Duane was just around the corner of the flower shop with the bat gripped tightly in his hands. The four of them quickly retreated to the vehicles at the sheriff’s office. Rick told Morgan to lead and Morgan nodded in agreement before they separated into the Jeep and truck. 

They drove in a tense silence for a few miles, Beth was constantly checking behind them for anyone following them but no other vehicles came into sight. “Thank you,” Rick’s voice breaking the silence startled Beth. “But don’t you dare put yourself into danger again.” Rick glanced over at her, his expression resolute. 

Beth stood her ground though, “That’s a two-way street. I can’t lose you either.” Beth glared back at Rick. 

Rick shook his head but did not reply. Instead he took her hand and squeezed it tight. His hand was rough but warm and the touch sent her heart into overdrive, but this time it was not in fear. She squeezed back but Rick did not pull his hand away. Not until over an hour later when Morgan pulled off the road to stop for the night. 

* * *

It was another month before they again met other survivors; another long month of exploring small towns and farms, and looking for people or a place to stay long-term. They were slowly but surely trekking south, combing the area and avoiding a giant herd that seemed to block any movements west. They were nearing the Florida border, much to Rick’s chagrin. 

They were in another small town, empty like so many others except for walkers. Beth and Duane were having target practice, Rick was supervising and Morgan was sharpening their supply of weapons (an axe, a machete, and a couple of fierce hunting knives). The truck and jeep were parked in the middle of the main street. There was a small group of extremely decomposed walkers that was wandering through, only about ten walkers, so Rick was using it as an opportunity for Duane and Beth to do target practice. He did have a hand resting on his Python and he was scanning regularly to make sure no walkers were sneaking up on them. 

Duane has put down four walkers with shots to the head, only one of his shots had missed the head, while Beth had only taken down three and had not missed any shots. Rick was telling her to shoot while she exhaled to help keep her aim steady when a shout startled them all. Beth’s shot went way off, shattering a storefront window. They all turned to face a man jogging towards them from in between two buildings and he was waving his arms. Morgan was instantly on guard, he quickly had his rifle aimed at the newcomer while Rick drew his Python and efficiently finished off the three remaining straggling walkers. 

“Hey there! Hi! Don’t shoot!” The man was wearing a beanie, had a scruffy beard, and skin as dark as Morgan’s and he held up both hands to show he was unarmed minus the hammer tucked into his belt. 

Beth nervously stepped behind Rick and pulled Duane to her side protectively. The man was smiling a genial, genuine smile but Beth knew now to err on the side of caution. “Hello,” Rick nodded in greeting. Morgan stayed silent and kept his gun aimed. 

“We heard the shots, we thought someone might be in trouble, and then I saw you were…practicing. We haven’t seen living people since we left Florida.” The man shook his head and smiled. “My name is Tyreese.” 

“Tyreese? My name is Rick. Sorry for the caution but if you don’t try anything we won’t either.” Tyreese nodded in understanding and Rick continued, “Did you say ‘we’?” 

“Yeah, c’mon on out, guys.” Tyreese called over his shoulder. Two women, one man and a teenage boy around Beth’s age walked slowly out of the alley Tyreese had exited earlier. “This is my sister, Sasha, and that’s Allen, his wife Donna and their son, Ben. And we mean you no harm. We’re just glad to see other people!” 

Rick nodded in greeting, “As I said, I’m Rick, Mr. Cautious here is Morgan, and this is Beth and Duane.” Beth did not like how this Ben kid was eyeing her, but she supposed he hadn’t seen someone his own age in a long time. “Where you folks headed?” Rick asked. 

Tyreese shook his head, “Nowhere specific. Just looking for a safe place and other survivors.” 

“And none of you are bit? Scratched? Running a fever?” Morgan asked. The five of them shook their heads and Morgan slowly lowered his rifle. Rick was studying the group intently and an awkward silence descended. 

Tyreese’s sister was the first to break it, “Well, I think this calls for a celebration. And I’ve just the thing,” she paused to root through her bag and Beth noticed both Morgan and Rick tense until Sasha triumphantly held up her prize: A slightly squashed box of moon pies. Duane whooped in excitement. Beth could not help but laugh herself. But she was genuinely happy to see Rick relax and crack a smile. They didn’t know anything about these people but Beth could feel it, that they had finally found good people. 

* * *


	6. Chapter 6

* * *

**Chapter Six**

* * *

“So how do you fit into the group?” Sasha asked. Beth liked the young woman so far, she was friendly, tough, and easy with a smile. The merging of the two groups was going well after their initial meeting two days before. They were still in the small town they all met in trying to get a feel for each other before moving on.

“What do you mean?” Beth asked. 

“Well, at first I thought you might be with Rick, but you guys aren’t affectionate, and then I thought you might be related somehow, but you sure don’t look at Rick like he’s a relative.” Sasha said with a sly smile. 

Beth blushed bright red, she thought that she kept her ogling down to a minimum, especially with new people around, but Sasha had only been with them for a day and a half and she picked up on Beth’s infatuation. “Rick found me and Jimmy, who was my high school boyfriend, we had been on my family’s farm and a herd came through and we ran… and then thank god we ran into Rick, we were completely clueless and out of gas and Rick saved Jimmy from a walker and took us into the group.”

“Ah ha, so you do have a bit of hero worship!” Sasha teased. 

“It’s not just that! I’m mean, yes, Rick’s has saved my life a couple of times now, but he cares about me and listens to me, plus he’s got a great smile…” Beth trailed off and Sasha grinned at her in response. 

“Well, he’s a good catch. You get ‘im, girl.” 

“Oh!” Beth blushed harder, which she did not think was possible. “You don’t think he’s too old for me?”

“The dead are walking and trying to eat us all, I think age difference is the least of our concerns nowadays,” Sasha shrugged. 

“Well… he’s got a wife and son out there somewhere, maybe, and I don’t think he’d ever look at me that way.” 

“Well, he’s lookin’ at you, and not in the same way he looks at Morgan or Duane or any of us newbies.” 

“You really think so?” Beth felt hope fluttering in her chest. She looked over at Rick who was conversing quietly with Tyreese. She almost did not want to hope, what were the chances of Rick ever wanting her in the same way she wanted him? 

* * *

Rick was thankful that they had more people in the group, it was less stress on him and Morgan to constantly be on guard, but he missed the closeness he had shared with Beth. She always had a story, a song, or a smile for Rick. She was his anchor, there had been a few times when the loss of his son and wife, the hopelessness of ever finding them became too much for him and he just wanted to snap but then he would look at her, so full of hope despite all she had been through, and his pain would ease. 

Beth had a million-dollar smile, the first time he had made her smile genuinely it had lifted the mood of the whole group and from then on Rick made it his mission to keep her happy. It was after they had scoped out her family’s farm, and their encounter with the men from Philadelphia, and they were scouting nearby farms for supplies when Rick stumbled upon a small peach orchard. It was such a simple thing, he had filled a canvas bag full of peaches and brought it back to the farmhouse they were camped out in and when Beth had peered inside the bag she gave him the brightest smile he had ever seen. “Oh Rick! I love peaches!” she had exclaimed and stood on her tippy toes to plant a soft kiss on his cheek. Rick had been dumbfounded and froze while Beth skipped away with the bag over to Duane to share the bounty. He vaguely remembered Jimmy glaring at both of them. That was the first time Rick had felt hope since he woke up in his deserted hospital room. 

And it was not just him. Beth had raided supplies that, at the time, the others had thought were useless like brown sugar and flour, but that night she heated up a bastardized peach cobbler in a skillet and the group agreed never to doubt Beth’s choices on what supplies were necessary. 

And after they lost Jimmy, which could have been prevented if Rick had not been angry with the kid for pushing Beth out of the way in his panic, Beth rarely left his presence. She had not blamed Rick for not helping Jimmy, neither did Morgan or Duane, and she didn’t seem too upset about Jimmy’s demise. 

So they settled into a routine, it was Morgan and Duane, Rick and Beth. She was always close, a constant at his side while they ate, slept and travelled. Now Rick felt bereft. Beth slept beside Sasha instead of him, she prepared food with Donna, and in their downtime Ben always seemed to be near her. Rick knew it was for the best, a seventeen-year-old girl should be with people closer to her own age, but he still missed their former closeness.

Beth still spent time around Rick, it was just less often than it used to be. And now Rick seemed to be more heightened in his awareness of her. All her casual touches and smiles were catalogued and he found himself having very inappropriate thoughts about her. She would touch his arm to gain his attention and he would think about how soft her skin was and how it would feel to run his hands along her smooth skin. She would smile up at him and he would think about how her lips would feel against his. Rick would shake himself from these fantasies and berate himself. Not only was Beth half his age, but he was married. Not that it had been the greatest marriage in the last few years with Rick working extra hours just to avoid Lori criticizing him in front of Carl. Somewhere out there his bitter, beautiful wife was waiting to tell him ‘I told you so’ because if Rick cared as much about his family as he claimed he did back when they used to argue, he would have found them by now. 

The group was camped out in a barn they had found a few days ago. It was surrounded by wooden fencing that kept out the occasional wandering walker but would not hold if a herd came through or if a walker knew they were there. It had been a good find, the hay inside was dry and warm and served as insulation against the cool winter air plus they had found a few chickens wandering the property. It wasn’t secure enough to stay more than a few days but it was better than the open farmhouse that was now full of walker corpses. 

Rick was currently up in the hayloft looking out over the grounds. Tyreese and Allen were gathering wood while Sasha guarded them against any walkers along the tree line that was about thirty yards out. Beth was below in the barn, she had been showing Donna and Ben how to properly butcher chickens the last few days. They were making a stew over a small fire pit that smelled wonderful. Rick could hear Duane laughing about something below and it sent a pang through Rick. When was the last time he heard his son laugh? 

Rick was not aware of how much time passed that he was up in the loft brooding, he knew Tyreese, Sasha and Allen had returned and he had seen Morgan taking a lap around the fence not too long ago. He heard the ladder behind him shift and he glanced over his shoulder to see Beth approaching him with a steaming bowl. “I brought you dinner,” Beth greeted, “it may have too much seasoning, Donna and I might have gone a bit overboard with the spices we found up at the house.” Beth said as she handed it over. 

“Smells good,” Rick said as he sniffed at the contents. Beth leaned against the wall beside the window Rick had been watching from and watched him eat the first few bites. “It’s good.” He smiled over at her. She smiled back happily and turned to look out the window. 

They stood in silence for a few moments while Rick slurped at the stew. “It’s hard, isn’t it?” Beth asked suddenly. 

“What’s hard?” Rick asked curiously. Everything was hard nowadays. 

“Watching them,” Beth turned and gestured to the voices they could hear from below. “Morgan with Duane, Tyreese and Sasha, Allen’s family… they’ve got their families and sometimes it’s hard to watch.” Beth spoke softly. Rick studied her intently, she looked sad slumped against the wall, her eyes were shiny with tears. “You and me, we don’t know if our families are alive or dead. And sometimes… it hurts to look at them.” 

Rick set his bowl down on the ledge of the window, the ledge wasn’t large enough for the bowl and it teetered a moment but Rick didn’t care as he pulled Beth into his arms. It was easy to forget that Beth was just as lost as him sometimes as she smiled so easily. Beth’s arms wrapped around his waist tightly and she relaxed against him. Rick buried his nose into her hair, it smelled like hay but he didn’t care. She was so warm and Rick felt an overwhelming urge to just let everything go, it would be so easy to just kiss her or run his hands underneath her shirt or down into her jeans and cup her round cheeks. He wondered how she would react, how her gasp of shock and pleasure would sound if he went searching for the sensitive spot behind her ear with his lips and tongue. 

Rick used strength he did not even know he had to pull away from Beth gently, to keep this moment nonsexual. Beth had tear tracks down her cheeks and Rick gently wiped them away with his thumb. “It is hard,” Rick finally agreed, his voice was rough with emotion. “But we’ve got each other. And I won’t let anything happen to you.” 

“I know,” Beth looked unsure and bit her lower lip. Rick stuck his hands in the back pocket of his jeans to keep from reaching for her. “Rick… I want… never mind.” Beth took a step back and a deep breath. 

Rick couldn’t help but feel like he missed something. Beth grabbed his precariously perched bowl and took a small bite with the spoon. “You sure there’s not too much cumin?” 

Rick let out a small laugh as Beth handed back the bowl. “Beth, I’m gonna be honest with you, I have no idea what cumin tastes like.” Beth laughed too and she smiled up at him and Rick felt better than he had all day. Her happiness was enough for him. 

* * *

Ben was nice, but he was also annoying. Beth knew she should not be annoyed by him, there weren’t many living people left so she should appreciate everyone she could, but he reminded her of a buzzing insect that constantly avoided being swatted. Her only respite was when she needed ‘girl time’ with Sasha, who thought the whole thing was amusing because she knew of Beth’s huge crush of Rick. Like today. They had split into pairs to explore the hardware store that they had just cleared of walkers. Ben had immediately volunteered himself to be Beth’s partner but luckily Sasha had interfered and declared it was her turn to be with Beth. Ben had pouted but Beth could not prevent the relieved smile she had given Sasha. 

“I almost kissed Rick the other day… but I totally chickened out.” Beth sighed as she and Sasha walked down one of the aisles of the small hardware store. The others were in the store too, minus Rick and Tyreese doing a perimeter sweep outside. The group was spread out enough that Beth was confident no one would hear her. They had left the barn the previous day and were back on the road looking for supplies and a new place to stay awhile. The weather was still bitter cold but it seemed to slow the walkers a bit. 

“Beth! When did this happen?” Sasha turned to face her. 

“The night before we left the barn when I brought Rick up some of that stew to eat in the loft and we were alone. And… he hugged me, I was talking about our missing families and he hugged me. And the look in his eyes, I thought he might want me but then… he pulled back and there was this moment… and I froze. What if he rejected me?” 

“What if he didn’t?” 

Beth sighed again and turned back to look over the shelves. They way Rick had held her, the way his arms felt around her, it had seemed more than a comforting, platonic hug. But then he had pulled back and closed off and Beth panicked. “If he rejected me, how miserable would that be? There’s only nine of us, I wouldn’t be able to hide from him.” 

“Rick would be crazy to reject you.” Sasha said firmly. 

“I’d rather keep mooning over him secretly instead of him avoiding me.” 

“Beth’s mooning someone?” Duane’s voice interrupted their conversation. Duane popped his head from around the end of the aisle with a cheeky grin. 

“Mooning _over_ someone, big difference.” Sasha replied with a wink. “Where’s your dad?” 

“I’m right here,” Morgan said as he walked into view. “Beth telling you all about her crush on Rick?” 

“Wait, what? How did you know?” Beth asked as a bright blush burned across her face. 

Duane and Morgan shared a look and Duane laughed, “Was it supposed to be a secret?” 

“C’mon now, go easy on her. Beth, we went a long time just the four of us. It was easy to pick up on.” Morgan said soothingly. 

Beth was still mortified. A thirteen-year-old could pick up on her feelings, what if Rick had? Is that why he pulled away from her? He didn’t want to encourage her feelings? “Oh god.” She covered her face and moaned. 

“See, Morgan doesn’t care. He doesn’t have a problem with the age difference.” Sasha pointed out. 

“I wouldn’t say that, I just don’t have a problem with Rick. There’s no better man left on this world than Rick. If it weren’t for him…” Morgan trailed off and clutched Duane’s shoulder. Duane looked at the floor with a gloomy expression on his face. Beth glanced at Sasha’s confused face. Sasha and the others did not know about Morgan’s wife, and how Morgan couldn’t bring himself to put her down after she became a walker. Not long after they met Rick they were scavenging through a house when she came in after them and had been about to bite Duane, who couldn’t bring himself to shoot his mom, when Rick pulled her off of him and put her down with his knife. Morgan and Duane never spoke about the incident and Beth only knew because Rick had told her. After that incident Morgan all but worshiped Rick, he had come so close to losing his son. Morgan cleared his throat before continuing, “I’m just saying, I think you’d be good for Rick. If you had your eyes on some other thirty-year-old man, I would not support it.” 

“So no Tyreese then?” Sasha teased lightly. She seemed to pick up on Morgan’s desire not to dwell on whatever he was thinking about. 

“No Tyreese what?” The group jumped as Tyreese’s voice boomed behind them. Beth turned to see Tyreese and Rick walking towards them, but they did not seem to know what the conversation was about given Tyreese’s curious expression and Rick seemed to be looking around for the others. 

“Um… nothing. Just, tellin’ a joke.” Sasha laughed a fake laugh. 

“There’s a sizable herd a few blocks down, grab what you can and let’s move out.” Rick told them. They nodded, scrambled back into action, and five minutes later the whole group was loaded back into the vehicles and moving out. 

* * *

The house they were in was one of the cleanest they had run across in a long time. Clearly no one had tried to camp out here yet and the owners either died or evacuated early on. It was not very secure, no fencing around the house, lots of trees to hide oncoming walkers, but the group was so unused to a tidy house that they all unanimously agreed to stay at least one night. Donna insisted that Beth leave preparing dinner to her that night, she told Beth she deserved a night off but Beth had the feeling she was trying to set Beth up with Ben as he had immediately asked her to hang out with him. She had glanced around for Duane, but he was helping Rick clean a rifle, and then Sasha, who nowhere in sight, before agreeing reluctantly. 

They wandered into the partially finished basement where an entertainment center was set up but the walls were still cement walls. “Wow, this is pretty cool,” Ben marveled at the big flat screen TV and fancy equipment that did not interest Beth in the slightest. So she merely shrugged and continued to poke around. 

There was dart board leaning against the wall, it had never been set up or even used given that the darts were still wrapped in plastic and Beth mused if she should bring it upstairs so everyone could play or watch. Duane would probably like to play at the very least. She had started to turn and suggest the idea to Ben when he appeared suddenly at her side. “Ben! Don’t sneak up on me like that!” she yelped and glared. 

He smiled and shrugged. “Sorry. Whatcha lookin’ at?” He asked and leaned into her personal space. 

Beth shifted so that they were facing each other and sighed. Ben had been trying to flirt with her since his family joined the group. She wondered if she should just give in to him. It was not like Rick was ever going to be interested in her, and who knew if she would ever meet another boy her own age again. 

“Beth, you are really pretty.” He told her bluntly. 

“Oh, um… thank you,” Beth fidgeted awkwardly. The first time Jimmy had told her she was pretty she had blushed and giggled happy to have his attention but now she just felt embarrassed, and not a good, giddy embarrassed, but a please-let-a-walker-charge-in-to-get-me-out-of-this-moment embarrassed. Ben did have a lot in common with Jimmy, they were both tall and gangly, both the same age, both always trying to show off… maybe kissing him would not be so bad. Maybe it was time for her to start thinking practically. Rick was so unobtainable, she really needed to start having realistic dreams. And while Ben was annoying, he was also nice. 

Beth took a deep breath to gather her courage and leaned up to plant a kiss on Ben’s lips. She pulled back after two heartbeats and Ben’s face was flabbergasted. Beth frowned. It had been… unremarkable. There was no spark of flash on anything in her chest, not even a tingle on her lips. Her first kiss with Jimmy had been awkward too, but it had left her happily flustered and willing to try again, but this did not. Clearly it was a mistake. 

“Ben, I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have done that.” Beth apologized and took a step back. 

“What?” he snapped out of his daze. “No, it was good!” He followed her and grabbed her arm to pause her retreat and then leaned in for another kiss. It was worse. His lips just mashed into hers and Beth was reminded of a time when her daddy had taken her, Maggie and Shawn fishing and Shawn had thrown a wiggling fish at her and it hit her on the mouth. Ugh. 

She broke off the kiss and stepped back. “No, Ben, I’m sorry but I don’t want to do this.” 

Ben glared at her and shook his head, “C’mon Beth, this is good.” And he leaned in again. 

“Ben, stop.” Beth shoved at the taller boy. 

“What? You kissed me,” he replied angrily. 

“Yeah, I said I’m sorry… I just wanted to see how it felt.” Beth tried to explain.

“Well, now I want to know how it feels.” He shoved Beth against the cement wall and her head banged painfully. 

“Ow, Ben, I said no.” She shoved at him again. 

“Don’t be such a bitch. It’s the end of the world, you’re not gonna get any better offers.” Ben’s tone was cruel and Beth felt tears start to well up.

He leaned in again and kissed her forcefully and Beth shoved him away again and then slapped him on his face. “I said no.” 

“Stupid bitch!” and then Ben punched her in the face right in her cheekbone. Beth cried out and fell back against the wall hard cracking her head again. 

She was dimly aware of Ben being hauled off her and a voice screaming, “What the fuck?” She looked up to see Sasha holding Ben in a stranglehold and yelling for the others. 

Rick and Tyreese came first barreling down the stairs, followed shortly be Ben’s parents, Morgan and Duane. “What is going on here?” Rick asked in a low, angry tone. 

“I just pulled Ben off of Beth after he attacked her.” Sasha’s tone was also heated. 

“What, she attacked me, I was just defending myself.” Ben argued. 

Beth was crying but trying to hold back her sobs. She was in pain, her head throbbed all over, and she looked up at Rick through tear stained lashes. She had never seen him look so furious before. 

“Beth attacked you? She’s hardly a hundred pounds.” Morgan interjected. 

Rick knelt beside her and gently probed her cheek. 

“She dragged me down here, kissed me, and then we start making out and she hits me!” Ben gave his skewed take on the events. 

“This just looks like a misunderstanding. Looks like Beth seduced my son and then changed her mind.” Allen’s tone was condescending as he tried to placate the group. 

Rick stood and turned on him, “a misunderstanding? What kind of man hits a woman?” 

“She was asking for it—“ 

“Get out.” Rick interrupted Ben. 

“What? Rick, don’t overreact here—“Allen tried to reason.

“Get out. Get your stuff, get your family, and leave. I don’t ever want to see you guys again.” Beth could not see Rick’s expression, but Allen and Donna withered under it. 

Allen turned to Tyreese with a desperate expression, “Tyreese, you can’t let him do this to us. It’s a death sentence.” 

“Your son punched Beth. I saw it.” Sasha responded before her brother could and she sounded just as angry as Rick. She finally let go of Ben and pushed him at his parents. 

“If Rick wants you gone, then we want you gone.” Morgan chimed in and Duane nodded bravely. Allen then turned angry and marched back up the stairs with his wife and son. 

Rick knelt in front of Beth again and Sasha was anxious over his shoulder. “Hey, Beth, let me look at you.” 

“I … I hit my head,” Beth reached up to probe at the back of her head and it came away sticky with blood. 

“Rick, she might have a concussion,” Sasha said worriedly. 

“Beth, I’m gonna pick you up, is that okay?” Beth nodded. Rick pulled her into him and picked her up one hand on her back and the other under her knees. Beth reached around his neck to stabilize herself and then pressed her face into Rick’s chest. 

* * *


	7. Chapter 7

* * *

**Chapter Seven**

* * *

Rick did not think he had ever been this angry before. He wanted to smash Ben’s twerp face in with his fist. And then when Allen tried to defend his son’s actions, Rick knew that if he didn’t get Allen and his son out of his sight he would slaughter them. Violently. With his axe. His strong, vicious reaction startled him, it let his mind clear enough to kick them out of the group and restrain himself from any physical reaction. Thank god Morgan and Sasha supported his decision, because Rick did not know how long he could have held back his violent urge to use his hands to break Ben. 

Rick took a deep breath and watched Tyreese escort Allen and his family back up the stairs and Morgan following them. Duane and Sasha were kneeling next to Beth asking her questions, Beth having a concussion was a real possibility as Rick could clearly see blood on the concrete wall where Beth’s head made impact. Rick also felt angry with himself. He was supposed to protect Beth. He swore to himself the day he met those two men from Philadelphia and saw how they looked at Beth that as long as he was alive and breathing, he would never let anything happen to her. Rick could still remember the sick look of lust on the fat one Tony’s face while Beth looked on fearfully. And now here Rick was looking down at Beth while Sasha probed the tender flesh of Beth’s cheek, he could tell that her skin was preparing to bloom into an ugly bruise. 

“We should carry her up to one of the bedrooms so she can get some rest,” Sasha said as she looked up at Rick. 

Rick nodded and bent down next to Beth to pick her up. Beth clung to him and Rick’s heart ached at the sight of her dizzy with pain. He followed Duane and Sasha up the stairs and then again up the second floor. There were three bedrooms, Sasha led them to the master bedroom and ripped off the dusty comforter so Beth could lie on the relatively clean sheets. Rick retreated from the room after he set her down. 

He went back down the main floor and stood watching Morgan and Tyreese see off Allen. Tyreese had given Allen keys to the small Chevy Blazer they had picked up not long after they joined the group. Rick did not care about the supplies that Allen was taking, he just wanted them gone. His hands were still now, no longer shaking in anger, and Rick was wary of his own awful thoughts that he had towards the banished man. He felt a bit guilty, sending them off into the unknown with hardly any protection but at the same time Beth was his priority. She did not have family like the others did, she had no one looking out for her best interest except Rick. Rick wanted to keep everyone in the group safe, but he felt more protective over Morgan, Duane and most of all Beth than he did the others. And Rick was very afraid of what he might have done if Allen and his son had been allowed to stay. The animalistic urge to beat Ben bloody had been so strong, so severe, and Rick was a bit afraid of what he was becoming. 

Morgan and Tyreese came back into the house, Tyreese looked upset and sad while Morgan only looked satisfied, like he had taken out the trash. 

“Thanks,” Rick nodded. 

“How’s Beth?” Morgan asked. 

“Sasha thinks she might have a concussion. We moved her up to one of the bedrooms.” 

“I’m sorry Rick, I never had any idea that Ben was capable of doing something like this,” Tyreese said remorsefully. Despite Tyreese’s intimidating size and looks he was really a big teddy bear. 

Rick clapped Tyreese on the shoulder, “none of us did. I’m sorry I had to kick them out. But it’s tough enough to keep the group safe from walkers I can’t worry about what members of our own group will do too.” 

Tyreese nodded, “You don’t have to worry about Sasha and me.” 

“I know,” Rick let out a stiff smile. 

They split up then, to make sure the house was still secure and to prepare to bunk down for the night. They might need to stay longer if Beth was too dizzy or disoriented. Rick also went looking for drugs, he was fairly sure they had ibuprofen. After he located the bottle he grabbed a bottle of water and then headed back up the stairs. 

Sasha was waiting for him just outside the bedroom. She was glaring and as soon as Rick was beside her she hissed, “This is all your fault.” 

Rick blinked in surprise. Of course he blamed himself because Beth was his responsibility, but he was surprised by Sasha’s vehemence so he only said, “What?” 

“Beth is blaming herself, of course, but the fact is that none of this would have happened if you would just pull your head out of your ass.” 

Now Rick was really confused by Sasha. “What do you mean?” 

“It’s been six months since the world’s gone to shit, your wife if probably dead, or moved on, and it’s very unlikely we’re ever going to find her, so stop jerking around Beth and commit to her.” 

Rick felt a flash of anger run through him at Sasha’s comments about his wife, but his main emotion was still confusion. “Sasha, I really don’t know what you’re implying, but I’m not ‘jerking around Beth’.” Rick said firmly. Sure, he had his fair share of inappropriate thoughts about the young blonde, and they were becoming more frequent, but Beth was barely a woman. 

Sasha studied him for a moment before speaking again, “You mean you really don’t know?” 

“Don’t know what?” Rick asked impatiently. 

“Beth’s infatuation with you, I know I noticed it right away after we joined the group, and Morgan said she’s been mooning over you since not long after you guys took her in.” Rick felt like he had been sucker punched in the gut. 

“That can’t be true,” Rick shook his head, “Jimmy was with us for weeks before he died. And… I’m twice her age. She’s not… no.” Rick could not wrap his head around Sasha’s words. Beth liking him? No. Sure, she was grateful for everything he did for her, and they were close because they were the only two in the group without family. Rick could not believe that Beth actually _desired_ him, she was seventeen and he was over twice that. “You’re mistaken.” Rick finished resolutely. 

Sasha was looking at him in disbelief when he finally looked up at her again. “Wow. You really are clueless.” Sash let out a small snort. “Here I was thinking you were stringing her along by being affectionate one minute and aloof the next.” 

“Hey, I’ve never let any… feelings for her control my actions. Until today.” 

“But you do have feelings for her.” Sasha probed. 

“I know they’re inappropriate and I will never act on them.” Rick said firmly. 

Sasha shook her head. “Rick, she might be only seventeen but she’s been through hell and had to grow up fast. She lost her entire family, she can kill walkers and she looks out for all of us like a mama hen. She’s perfectly capable of consenting to a relationship with whomever she wants. And she wants you.” Rick shook his head again. Beth could have anyone left in the world, no way she’d want a damaged guy like him. “Rick, I know she wants you because we talk about it. All the time. It may have started as a crush but she really, genuinely _loves_ you.” 

And with that Sasha patted Rick’s shoulder sympathetically and walked away, Rick watched her head down the stairs still at a loss. He shook his head again, trying to clear Sasha’s words and pushed open the cracked door. Beth way lying on her side with her eyes closed and Duane was sitting in a chair that he must have pulled up next to the bed. 

“Why don’t you go get something to eat, I’ll sit with Beth.” Duane nodded and headed out. Rick collapsed into the chair and stared numbly at the bottle of pills and water in his hands. 

He thought Beth was asleep and was startled when Beth spoke, “I’m sorry Rick.” 

“Beth! Here, I got some pills for your head. And water.” Beth slowly eased into a sitting position against the pillows so she could take the pills. Rick watched her swallow them carefully. “Beth… you have nothing to be sorry about.” 

“Yes I do, you should have to make them leave because of me. Ben wasn’t lying, it was my fault—“ 

“Beth, this wasn’t your fault.” 

“Yes it was. I kissed Ben. I’ve been… I … I thought…” Beth struggled for the right words. “I didn’t think I could ever have what I wanted so I thought I’d settle for Ben. But… it just felt wrong. It was just one kiss and when I tried to tell Ben I was sorry he just got angry and tried to force me.” 

“Just because you kissed him doesn’t excuse his actions. And I wasn’t letting that kid stay after that,” Rick told her resolutely.

Rick could see the tears shining in Beth’s wide, blue eyes and Rick wanted nothing more than to pull Beth into his arms to comfort her. But Sasha’s words were running through his mind. She said that Beth loved him. That it was not a crush. Rick had to think about this. He had been so ashamed of his desire for Beth because it was so inappropriate, but apparently both Sasha and Morgan knew and didn’t care. And had Beth really been coming after him and he was oblivious? Rick sat and watched Beth slowly fall asleep. He thought about Lori. Their relationship had been deteriorating for years, they were both unhappy together, Lori was always looking to pick a fight with him and Rick had done his best to avoid her. He still cared about Lori, he wanted her safe and unharmed. He wondered how things would be if he had found them after he woke up from his coma. He wondered if their relationship would have improved or if they would have stuck together out of obligation and desire to keep Carl safe. He did not know if he still loved Lori, they had been happy once upon a time, but Rick could barely remember how that felt. 

And what did he feel about Beth? He desired her, yes, because she was beautiful inside and out. She was a bright, shining star in a desolate world. He lived for her smile. He felt protective of her and, as he learned today, would go to great lengths to keep her safe. He did not doubt that he would kill for her, and not just strangers like Tony and Dave. Her presence soothed the deep ache he felt when he thought of Carl and his unknown fate. But he spent months now trying not to have feelings for Beth that it was too much now to face what he felt. So, Rick sat and watched Beth rest and wondered what the hell he was going to do. 

* * *

The week after Rick had kicked Ben and his family out of the group passed quickly and Beth still felt guilty. No one seemed to blame her, Rick and Sasha were adamant that it was not her fault. Even Tyreese, who missed his friends, took her aside and said it was not her fault. Duane was happy to be spending so much time with her again with Ben gone. And things were going so much smoother now that Allen’s family was not there. The group fell back into their old routines with Sasha and Tyreese just making everything easier. It then made Beth feel even more guilty because they were doing so well without them.

To distract herself from the incredible guilt Beth felt over the Ben Incident, she threw herself into her duties. Beth was pleased to be spending so much time with Rick again. He barely let her out of her sight now, and while Beth probably should have felt smothered by his constant presence she relished it instead. Rick was constantly watching her now with a speculative look on his face. Like he had figured something out and was wondering what to do about it. That made Beth a little nervous, she knew that Sasha and Rick had talked about something that night but her head had been too woozy and she hadn’t been able to concentrate of what they were arguing about. But if Rick had figured out her feelings for him he didn’t seem to be disgusted. So Beth didn’t stop her affectionate nature with him. Now that they were constantly together she was frequently touching him for his attention, brushing up against him when she was following him, and tried her best to always have a smile for him. 

One night when Tyreese was reminiscing how January used to be his favorite month because of football playoffs it gave Beth an idea for how the group could have some relaxing fun. Tyreese used to play for the Falcons in his twenties before a knee injury prevented him from returning to the field. Rick had been thrilled to learn Tyreese’s history. Rick was apparently a huge Falcons fan and he had also played football himself in high school. Beth’s plan would hopefully make both Rick and Tyreese happy. Tyreese had never been to the Super Bowl, nor the NFC championship, so Beth plotted a way to get a game going between their six group members. They had a football, Beth had collected the ball months ago for Duane. One night when Allen’s family had still been with them, Duane had brought it out to toss around with Ben and Tyreese had taught them how to throw a spiral. Beth enlisted Morgan’s help in finding a field. Schools were dangerous because more often than not they were converted to Red Cross shelters when the world first started falling apart and now they were full of trapped walkers. 

They were currently in a bigger town than they normally ventured into and on the edge of the town was the middle school. The school had not been used as a shelter, most likely a more centrally located school had been used instead. The athletic field was open, the tree line was far from the school grounds so no walkers would be able to sneak up on them, and even then Morgan planned to keep the vehicles close. 

Morgan gathered the group for her in the middle of the football field, and they stood in a half circle facing Morgan. “Listen up, everyone, Beth has planned a surprise for everyone.” 

Beth stepped up to Morgan’s side. She pulled out the football that she had stashed in her messenger bag and held it aloft. “I would like to announce the first ever Post-Apocalyptic Super Bowl!” Beth announced. Duane cheered, Tyreese grinned widely, and Sasha laughed while she elbowed her brother. And Rick watched her with a small smile and an amused look in his eyes. “The rules are simple: touch tackling only and first team to three touchdowns wins,” Beth thought keeping the game short would be best. She wanted the group to have fun but she also didn’t want to attract any unwanted attention. “Teams are Tyreese, Duane and me versus Rick, Morgan and Sasha.” Everyone shuffled for a moment until the teams were grouped together. Morgan pulled out a quarter from his pocket and handed it to Rick while Beth said, “heads, Rick’s team plays the ball first, tails is ours.”

Despite Tyreese being handicapped with the two youngest players he destroyed the competition with seven touchdowns before Rick’s team finally got one before they ended the game. “C’mon Rick, I thought you used to play,” Tyreese taunted when Beth ran her second touchdown past a grinning Rick. By the end they were worn out but full of smiles, despite the lack of sticking to the rules. Sasha at one point jumped on Tyreese’s back but he still managed to throw a perfect spiral into Duane’s open hands. Rick had even tackled Beth by scooping her up into his arms, both laughing and Beth refusing to yield. 

The group happily and slowly trekked back to the vehicles. No walkers had been drawn in by their game but no one wanted to take any chances. Rick stopped Beth with a hand on her shoulder and she turned to face him curiously. “This was great. I think we all needed this.” Rick wasn’t smiling anymore but his expression was content and he looked at her like... like he wanted her. Beth’s heart stopped. 

The others were ahead of them, Duane was excitedly talking about the game and the others’ attention was on the young teen and not on Rick and Beth lagging behind them. Rick’s hand was warm on her arm through her shirt and she took a tiny step closer to Rick. The cold air was doing little to cool her heated skin. Beth’s mind flashed back to during the game, when Rick had picked her up in his arms, how he had laughed low in her ear and his lips had brushed over her cheek. 

Rick’s blue eyes were staring into her intently. Beth felt lightheaded and she couldn’t hear the others anymore, just her heart beating and Rick’s breathing. “Beth...” Rick’s voice was low again. He didn’t say anything further but he leaned down into her space. Beth stopped breathing as Rick’s lips, rough and chapped, gently pressed against hers. Beth blindly reached for Rick’s shoulders, clutching her fingers into his shirt to steady herself. 

But then Rick tensed and ripped away from her. Before Beth could protest, or let devastation wash over her, the world around her filtered back in and she could hear gunshots. They were distant, somewhere further into the town. 

“We should help, someone could be in trouble,” Tyreese spoke quietly. 

Rick pulled Beth into his side as he closed the gap between them and the others. Beth was a jumble of confusing emotions. Rick had just kissed her and she wanted more. She wanted answers. Was that a one-time kiss? It did not feel like a platonic, thank-you-for-making-us-stop-for-some-much-needed-fun kiss. It felt real. But now Rick was debating quietly with the others on how to best approach this possible threat and Beth could not concentrate. Not until Sasha touched her shoulder to grab her attention. Rick’s plan won out, they would observe from a distance to see if there was a threat and then they would decide what to do. Rick’s intense gaze burned into Beth as she nodded along with the plan. She had to take a deep, steadying breath to steady her nerves before following the others. 

* * *


	8. Chapter 8

* * *

**Chapter Eight**

* * *

Rick studied the men in the street with a frown. They were crowd thinning a large herd of walkers, but that was not the strange part. One man was holding a walker back while the other pried out the walker’s teeth with pliers. “What the hell?” Sasha whispered bewildered. 

“They sure don’t like a bunch we want to meet,” Morgan muttered quietly. Rick nodded in agreement. 

They were on the second floor of the town’s library watching the group below them. Rick had seen them from the alley, and given that this group was very well armed and did not need help killing the walkers he suggested observing the group from a distance. The library had been luckily clear of walkers. Tyreese was hanging back with Beth and Duane, Duane was more interested in the small comic book collection the library had than in this new group and Beth had volunteered to stay with him. Sasha, Morgan and Rick were all at a different window looking over the main street, standing out of sight and making no sudden movements that might draw attention to the windows. 

This group had artillery, they were prepared, and had no hesitation or fear in killing the walkers. Rick could easily tell who was in charge, he was tall, brown haired and looked late forties, and he barked out orders to the others. The group was not all men, Rick realized, there was one woman, she was thin and had very short, cropped silver hair but appeared to have the better aim of the group. 

“They’re taking the walker?” Sasha’s confused tone drew Rick’s attention back to the two men performing dentistry on the walker. The walker’s arms were pinned down with rope and they were herding it into the back of a truck. Rick watched in uneasiness as the men returned to the man in charge. There seemed to be discussion on what walker qualifications they were looking for Rick guessed based on the shouts from the group on which walker was in ‘prime’ condition. They selected another male, not too decomposed or missing body parts, and started wrangling it to take out its teeth. 

“Rick, I don’t like this,” Morgan said quietly. 

“I don’t either,” Rick agreed. 

“But what could they possibly be doing with them?” Sasha wondered. 

Rick wondered if they were experimenting on the walkers. They sure did not look like scientists, but maybe they were taking some of the walkers back to a team? He briefly thought back to their trip to the CDC in Atlanta. It had been his first stop after Morgan, Duane and he drove into the bombed city that clearly had no refugee shelter. The doctor had been eager to see new people, but warned them the building was running low on power and that in a few days the place would start to shut down and ‘decontaminate’ itself. Rick had tried to convince Dr. Jenner to leave with them, but the doctor said he had nothing to live for. His wife was dead, there was no hope of a cure, there were no other facilities that he knew of still running, and they were all infected. Rick had not shared that tidbit with Morgan and Duane. The doctor was clearly suicidal, and Rick wasn’t sure if he was in his right mind. Plus, no reason to make their situation even bleaker. 

“Rick, I think we should get out of here before they finish. Walkers are going to be coming from miles drawn by all these shots.” Morgan looked back at Duane. He was sitting on a couch flipping through his commandeered stash while Beth stared off in the distance. Rick tried not to concentrate on Beth, thoughts of her were too distracting, and thinking about how soft her lips were would only get them killed. “I agree. Sasha?” Rick turned to the young woman. 

Sasha was still studying the group out the window. “I agree too, but we’ve got to be careful. I don’t want these people to find us.” 

They retreated slowly to the others, they had stayed out of sight but any quick movements could have been noticed by the group below. “We’re leaving, as quick and quiet as possible,” Morgan announced. 

Tyreese nodded with a disappointed frown. Tyreese was always eager for more people, but he understood that not all people were worth the risk. Duane stashed the comic books in his bag and joined his father. Rick held out his hand for Beth to take and she quickly accepted. Rick felt a bit better, with one had on his gun and one hand on Beth. 

* * *

A day after the encounter with the strange group they were staying in another barn and lying low, just in case those others were still in the area. The barn and surrounding farm had already been cleared by the group and Rick was accompanying Beth while she surveyed the garden for anything salvageable. There were no animals left on the farm, fresh meat was beginning to be a fond memory. 

Beth was telling Rick about how beets could grow in cold weather and a recipe of her momma that made beets bearable enough to eat when Rick stopped her with a hand on her shoulder. Beth looked up at Rick wondering if he had seen a walker or something but Rick was looking down at her intently. Before Beth could ask what was wrong he leaned down and kissed her. His lips were dry and cracked from the cold and he pressed them lightly against hers for a few heart beats before pulling back. Beth did not react, she was too shocked that this was happening again, that Rick didn’t regret their previous kiss. As Rick began to straighten up she dropped the linen bag she was carrying and reached up for Rick. She got her hands into the fur lined collar of his coat and yanked him back. His lips crashed into hers, Beth accidentally bit Rick’s upper lip, but then Rick regained his balance, his hands settled on the sides of her face and he kissed her properly. No tongue, just dry lips moving against hers and Beth swooned in delight. It was easily the most amazing kiss in the world. And then Rick was pulling back, again, with a smile and asked, “So, these are beets then?” 

“Rick!” Beth laughed. “Don’t you dare think you are getting away with another kiss-and-run!” 

Rick grinned at her, an eye crinkling, teeth baring grin. “I can’t help it. You’re the best thing in this world.” Rick eyes turned serious as he spoke again, “Beth... I have something to confess.” Beth waited eagerly while Rick gathered his thoughts, Beth would wait forever for Rick to be ready. She smiled uncontrollably when Rick looked back up at her to meet her gaze. “I want you. I want to be the reason you smile and laugh. Without you I’d be lost. You’re the reason I have hope that we’ll make it. And... I’m so goddamn selfish because I want you when I shouldn’t.” 

Beth’s eyes prick with tears. She could hardly dare to believe Rick’s words, but his eyes were honest and intense. And Beth, who had lost her entire family and world, she was the happiest she had ever been. She reached for Rick and he let her arms slide around his shoulders and he pulled her tight against his chest. “I’m the one who is selfish,” She whispered in Rick’s ears. “I’ve wanted you all to myself for so long.” 

Rick kissed her again, and this time Beth felt like she was drowning, her head was spinning and everything felt surreal. Rick’s mouth moved against hers and it was not the gentle kisses from before. This was unrestrained, and Beth eagerly responded. 

When they pulled apart, they are both breathing heavily and Beth is sure she couldn’t stand without Rick’s support. Rick rested his forehead against hers with his eyes closed. “Can we... be selfish together?” Beth asked hesitantly. 

Rick chuckled low and opened his eyes. “I’d like nothing better.” 

Beth did not ask what about Rick’s wife and son. She had seen it in his eyes, how he was trying to mask his hurt. Accepting her meant giving up on the rest of his family. Beth did not want to see Rick in any sort of pain, even if making him happy caused her agony instead. “We’ll keep looking for Lori and Carl,” she kept her tone quiet hoping that would keep her voice steady. 

“Beth...” Rick studied her face intently. 

“We’re being selfish, remember? It’s okay.” She gave him a small smile. “Now, I believe I was telling you about a beet recipe?” 

* * *

Rick did not bring up the topic of his missing wife and son again. Beth was afraid to break whatever spell Rick was under so she was perfectly content to go along with the flow. Whenever it was just the two of them, and they were sure there were not walkers about or they weren’t doing some important task, they were kissing. From light, teasing kisses to heavy, passionate kisses with wandering hands that left Beth aching for something more. And at night, they had used to sleep next to each other and now Beth slept twined around Rick. 

The first night after they kissed, the group was sleeping in the barn’s hayloft. Rick had first watch and Beth awoke for a moment at the noise of Tyreese creaking down the ladder to relieve Rick. She had left room next to her, they usually slept side by side separated by at least half a foot. She stirred again when she felt Rick settling into the blanket covered hay beside her, but she was instantly wake a moment later when Rick gently pulled her into his side. “Rick?” Beth whispered, her heart beating a million miles a minute as Rick tucked the blankets back down around them. Beth’s head was now resting on Rick’s chest, and his arms settled around her waist. They were both fully clothed, Beth even slept with a knit hat on to keep the chill at bay. 

“Go back to sleep,” Rick murmured into her hair quietly and soon his breathing even out long and slow. Go back to sleep? Beth had never been more awake in her life. She adjusted slightly, just enough to get an arm around Rick and a leg covering his, trying to keep calm and not burst out in ecstatic giggles. Rick did not even kiss her, just held her the rest of the night and Beth drifted off eventually fantasizing about this new development and how far she could take things between them. And the next morning Sasha and Duane were giving her mischievous looks that she pretended to ignore even though she could not keep a huge smile off her face. 

* * *

Rick stumbled across the white-tailed deer by accident. Fear of living humans must have been dwindling because the deer just looked up from the bush it was nibbling on and just stared at him. He had the rifle cocked and aimed and before he could really think about the repercussions he fired. The shot echoed loudly through the budding trees. 

Sasha was at his side, but the shot had the others running toward them. Sasha let out a whoop of delight and she darted forward towards the fallen deer. Tyreese came crashing through the brush with Beth hot on his heels, and what a sight Beth presented. She wore a look of determination and was brandishing a hunting knife like she could take anything on that was threatening Rick. Rick barely resisted the urge to scoop her into his arms and never let go. 

“Look what’s for dinner!” Sasha announced as she crouched over the deer. It felt like they had not had fresh meat in ages. Everyone was getting tired of their vegetarian diet. Rick could not stop grinning at this find. 

Beth relaxed her stance once she realized there was no danger and she approached Rick with a grin. Rick greeted her with a quick kiss that never failed to bring a happy expression to Beth’s face. 

Morgan and Duane entered the scene just as the first moan echoed through the trees. The group immediately tensed, scanning for the threat. A walker lurched out the trees to Rick’s right and he quickly moved forward with his knife to take care of it. He grabbed the walker but its fraying flannel shirt and sunk his knife in its skull. There were two more walkers coming behind the first, Rick moved towards the next and Beth darted to his side to take out the second. 

Beth was getting much better, she rarely hesitated to kill walker’s anymore, and she had the hang of how to best take down walkers that were bigger than her. Rick scanned the area again after he was sure Beth’s walker was dead only to see Sasha taking out one not far from the deer. Rick could see there were more walkers coming from that direction. 

“We got to move!” Morgan hissed urgently as he pointed out to more stumbling through the trees. 

“But, dinner!” Sasha tugged on the deer’s hind legs barely moving the animal. “We haven’t had fresh meat in ages!” Rick shared Sasha’s regret. But walkers were quickly outnumbering them and the deer would only slow them down. 

“I got this,” Tyreese said before picked up the two-hundred-pound carcass and slung it over shoulders and took off back towards their vehicles. 

Duane’s very appropriate “damn!” earned a scowl from his father but the others followed Tyreese quickly. Morgan was closest to Tyreese and was able to take out a walker that lunged out at Tyreese. Rick and Sasha were last, Rick’s blood was rushing and his adrenaline was rushing through his system. They were normally more careful than this. It had been a long time since they had been taken unaware by a group of walkers. 

Tyreese reached the truck first, he tossed the deer into the bed and then jumped over the side alongside the deer. Morgan reached his jeep and Duane was right behind him. Beth reached the truck before Rick and Sasha, she wrenched open the passenger side door and crawled across the bench to the driver’s seat. Sasha dived in after Beth and Rick vaulted over the side of the bed to join Tyreese in the back. There was not a lot of room in the bed, with the supplies, the deer and Tyreese but Rick was ready to defend their prize alongside Tyreese. 

Beth squealed the tires as she followed Morgan back onto the county road. Rick watched the walkers fade into the distance, their grasping hands eagerly reaching for nothing now but he remained vigilant. His biggest fear was the other group. It had been nearly a month since they last saw them, and they had travelled far to the west, but they had been doing their best to keep a low profile just in case the other group was somehow in their vicinity. 

Their luck held out and they returned to the tiny house they had been staying in the last few days. The mood was jubilant as Rick and Tyreese unloaded the deer. The small house had a one-car garage and that was where Tyreese and Rick set the deer down on the cement floor while the others huddled around them. Tyreese volunteered to help Beth to butcher the deer while Sasha and Rick scavenged the area for firewood. After they returned, Morgan started up a low smoke fire in the fireplace to cook the meat. Duane selected a can of green beans and a can of corn to go along with the deer. The group spent the night around the fireplace eating meat with their fingers as it finished cooking. Tyreese finished cooking the rest of the meat and Duane helped him pack away the rest into coolers. 

It was amazing how the mood of the group could change so drastically at something as basic as fresh meat. Spring was truly in the air, the weather was getting warmer, plants and trees were starting to bloom, and animals were reemerging. This would hopefully be the first fresh meat feast of many to come. 

Rick sat back against the ratty, brown couch and Beth leaned back against his chest, sitting between his knees and Rick wrapped an arm around her stomach. No one so much as batted an eye at them, it had been a month and Rick was still in disbelief that none of the others cared about their relationship. Morgan had told him he deserved to be happy. Sasha had hugged him and told him that if he hurt Beth she’d castrate him. Tyreese had said as long as everyone was happy, he was happy. Duane had demanded that Beth still hang out with him and Beth had agreed with a laugh. 

Rick buried his nose in Beth’s nape breathing deeply. Beth’s presence had a way of grounding Rick and focusing him in the moment. And in this moment, he felt the world was less bleak and that their group could accomplish anything. He was happy. 

* * *


	9. Chapter 9

* * *

**Chapter Nine**

* * *

Beth’s older sister, Maggie was six years older than her and when Maggie had been in high school they had fought constantly over Beth violating Maggie’s privacy. Beth had always been curious to what her sister got up to with her friends. She had read her sister’s diary and eavesdropped on phone conversations. Hershel had even once paid Beth to follow Maggie and report on what she was doing when she and one of her boyfriends were exploring the farm. Annette, Beth’s mother, had been furious with Hershel when she had found out, and Maggie refused to speak to Beth for a week. Beth now knew how Maggie felt about her lack of privacy. 

Everyone in the group had walked in on them in various states of kissing. It was sometimes easy to sneak away for a make out session with Rick, but Rick always wanted to be within yelling distance of the others in unfamiliar areas. Occasionally, while they were kissing, Rick’s hands would slide into her clothes but he would stop himself after a few moments and pull back, leaving Beth aching. And when they were settled down for the night, usually all six of them would share a space. 

Beth seemed to be the only one frustrated by their situation. Rick seemed content with kissing when they could and snuggling together for the night. But Beth itched for more. She wanted Rick’s hands on her naked skin. She wanted his _mouth_ on her naked skin. She and Jimmy had never done anything more than over the clothes groping, at her own insistence. She had never felt comfortable with Jimmy. But now, with Rick, she yearned for more. She had touched herself occasionally, bringing herself over the edge, but she wanted Rick to bring her that pleasure. She wanted to give Rick that pleasure. 

She was starting to get irritated. 

“What did those pecans ever do to you?” Sasha’s voice interrupted Beth’s brooding. Sasha collapsed next to her. They were camped outside, now that the weather was warmer and the nights weren’t freezing, the group had taken to camping and stringing wire with cans around their campsite if they couldn’t find decent shelter. They had acquired three tents, and Beth shared a tent with Rick, but their walls were cloth and the others were only feet away. 

Sasha’s comment referred to the pecans Beth was roasting over their campfire on a beat-up cookie tray. Beth had been glaring at the nuts as she turned them for even roasting. “Oh, sorry. I’m just… frustrated,” Beth sighed. 

“Frustrated? I think you should be the only person in the group that isn’t frustrated. Well, you and Rick,” Sasha teased with a waggle of her eyebrows. 

“That’s the exact problem! We haven’t done anything besides kiss! Every time I try to take things further Rick stops me.” Beth huffed. 

“Wait, he’s stopping things? Guy’s a goddamned martyr,” Sasha laughed. Beth did not join her laughter and sent her friend a glare instead. “Well, have you told him how you feel about it?” 

Beth frowned, “No. You think I should?” 

Sasha rolled her eyes at Beth before responding, “Girl, Rick’s not a mind reader. If you want things to change, you have to take matters into you own hands. So to speak.” Sasha waggled her eyebrows at the innuendo. Beth let out a short laugh and shook her head at her. “What? I haven’t gotten laid in a long time, I’m allowed my humor,” Sasha defended with a smile. 

* * *

Beth found her chance to talk with Rick the next day. They had found a decent house to spend the night in and after the house was cleared Beth and Rick snuck off to one of the bedrooms after Beth exchanged a look with Sasha. At first she had no intention of talking as she pulled Rick onto the bed and he followed eagerly, pressing kisses into her neck as he hovered over her. The others were still downstairs, Beth knew that Sasha would do her best to keep the others distracted for as long as she could. Beth started unbuttoning her pink, sleeveless button up shirt as she toed off her boots. The sound of the boots clunking on the floor caused Rick to pull back. 

“What are you doing?” Rick stopped Beth’s hands on her buttons with his own hands. She was wearing a white cami top underneath the shirt so no skin was exposed yet. 

“What does it look like I’m doing?” Beth asked with an eye roll. 

“Beth… we don’t have to do this. I don’t expect anything like this from you.”

Beth’s heart froze at Rick’s words. He didn’t want her? Beth had always considered herself pretty, she had never been self-conscious that her chest was small or that her hips weren’t curvy until now. Did Rick not find her attractive? She scooted back from Rick, until she hit the headboard and she drew her knees to her chest. Rick watched her move and he sat back on his knees. “Do you not-? Am I not…?” Beth could not even finish her question and her face burned hot with embarrassment. 

“What?” Rick looked confused for a moment before realizing what Beth meant. “No, that’s not—Beth, you are beautiful.” Rick placed his hand over her own, but Beth only felt confusion. 

“Then why don’t you want me?” 

“Want you? Beth…Believe me, that is not the problem. I want you. But I’m not going to pressure you into anything.” 

“Pressure me?” Beth gave Rick a skeptical look, “You treat me like glass, I feel like I’m the one pressuring you.” 

“I just, I don’t need more. I’m okay with just this,” Rick gestured unhelpfully. 

“But I need more!” Beth finally burst. “I’m not some spoiled, naïve, daddy’s little girl. I can handle walkers by myself, I keep all of you fed, I help protect our group, so I think I can handle knowing when I want sex!” Beth ended her rant a little louder than she wanted, but she was just so irritated. Rick responded with a low chuckle and a shake of his head. “It’s not funny,” Beth huffed, she started to move off the bed to return to the others and ignore Rick but he caught her arm and pulled her back. His lips landed on hers, this kiss was uninhibited, Rick was tasting her, licking into her mouth like she was a delectable dessert. And when he pulled back a moment later they were both breathless. 

“I’m sorry. It’s not funny. You are absolutely right. I just… get so wrapped up in trying not to overwhelm you that I ignore your wants. I’m sorry.” Rick’s eyes are dark as he met her gaze. 

“So we’ll move at my pace?” Beth asked with a mischievous smile, she was still a bit breathless from his kiss and more eager than ever. 

“You got any condoms?” Rick asked, amused. 

“What? You’re a guy, you tellin’ me you really don’t have any?” Beth asked incredulous. 

“It ain’t like I can run to the store,” he chuckled and kissed her pouting lips. “We’ll get there, but for now…” Rick’s hands went to her buttons and finished unbuttoning her shirt. Beth could feel her heart pounding and her cheeks burning as she pulled her cami top over her head. Rick, fascinated with the newly exposed skin, trailed kisses along her collar bone before heading south. Beth buried her fingers in Rick’s curls and tugged him to where she wanted his mouth. He stopped at the edge of her bra long enough to tug her bra down and expose her nipples. Beth’s voice hitched as Rick’s tongue stroked her sensitive skin. Her fingers left Rick’s hair to unhook her bra and Rick moved back to give her room as she wiggled out of it.

Beth cannot help but feel a bit self-conscious as Rick studied her without her bra, but he looked at her with a mix of awe and lust. Beth felt triumphant then, that she was the one causing Rick to look like that. She reached for his shirt, eager to see more of his skin. Rick sat back for a moment, long enough to shrug off his shirt. He leaned in again, pulling Beth into another kiss while their chests touch lightly. Beth’s nipples peaked, stimulated by Rick’s chest hair brushing over her breasts and she moaned into Rick’s mouth. Beth’s fingers trace along Rick’s skin, she was fascinated by the wiry hair cover smooth skin and tight muscles. Rick’s hands were not idle either. One hand kept him propped over her but the other explored her smooth skin and dipped below her jeans. Beth had never wanted anything more than how much she wanted Rick in that moment. She did not know exactly what she wanted, all she knew was that her core ached with a pulse and Rick was the only one that could relieve her. “Please, Rick,” she cried against his ear, “I need you.” Rick’s groan vibrated through her and his fingers were impatiently tugging at her jeans and pulling them and her panties down enough to get to her center. 

He started with one finger, circling her clit and then her entrance before dipping inside her. Beth moved against his finger trying for more friction until Rick added a second finger. Rick’s fingers felt so much better than her own and Beth could not control the gasps that were coming out of her. Rick’s mouth made its way back to hers and he swallowed her breathy moans. His tongue moved against hers, thrusting in time with his fingers. He had two inside of her and his thumb steadily stroked her clit. And all the sensations quickly became too much for her, she felt her whole body tightening and her nails dug into Rick’s back as she spiraled into her release. She melted into the sheets and Rick moved off her to lie beside her. 

Rick let out a groan as he unbuckled his belt and jeans and finally released himself from the tight confinement. Beth watched, fascinated, as Rick took himself in hand and slowly pumped his fist along his cock. Beth let her curiosity overcome her and her fingers lightly touch his. Rick groaned again and he moved his hand so that there was no barrier between Beth’s fingers and his cock. Beth’s touch was light at first, she ran her fingers along the smooth skin curiously until Rick’s fingers closed over hers. Beth let Rick lead her and Rick showed her how tight he liked her grip and the pace he enjoyed most. Beth laughed triumphantly as Rick came all over their fingers just a few minutes later. 

Rick cleaned his hand off on the sheets but Beth brought her fingers to her mouth to try a taste. It was strange, unlike anything she had tasted before, and why was it salty? She looked over at Rick and he watched her with an expression that sent a shiver to her core. “It tastes a bit weird,” Beth admitted. Rick chuckled before pulling her into a plundering kiss. And Beth quickly wiped her fingers off on the sheet as well so she could tangle her fingers into Rick’s hair. She already could not wait until they found some condoms. 

* * *

The warmer weather brought one more addition to the group. Beth and Sasha were bathing in a creek when Michonne found then. The men plus Duane were just out of sight but within yelling distance while the two girls washed up. The water was freezing cold but Beth felt glorious to be clean. She had just slid into clean panties and bra and she turned around when she heard the clinking of chains. The woman was standing still as a statue, she seemed to have materialized out of thin air because both her and Sasha had been keeping an eye on their surroundings and had not heard a thing. She was standing watching them with a curious expression, she had a sword drawn in one hand and in her other hand was a long chain that acted as a leash for two walkers that had no arms or jaws. 

Beth, beyond startled, shrieked and nearly fell back into the creek in her dash to reach the rest of her clothes. Rick, of course, heard her scream and came charging through the trees on the opposite bank that the woman stood on. “Beth?!” He called frantically and found Beth nearly naked and Sasha completely naked and pointing a gun at the strange woman. Morgan, Tyreese and Duane came crashing through the brush right behind Rick. 

Everyone froze for a moment not sure how to react to the woman with the sword and walkers, she had tensed with the arrival of the others and was eyeing them all. Rick broke the silence, “Beth, are you all right? Sasha?”

“She startled me is all,” Beth responded. 

Sasha only nodded, her gaze and aim never wavering as she asked, “Who are you?” 

Rick drew Beth into his left side protectively he had his python steadily aimed at the woman. “My friend here asked you a question.” 

“I haven’t… seen other people… in a long time.” She said when she finally spoke. It was obvious that she had not spoken out loud in some time. 

“My name is Beth,” Beth started. She could tell the woman was just as wary of them as they were of her. “This is Rick, and that is Sasha, and Tyreese, Morgan and Duane.” Beth gestured to everyone around her. 

“That sword is so cool!” Duane spoke up. He had a big grin on his face, he was not intimidated by the newcomer at all, he thought she looked like a cool comic book hero. Morgan placed a protective hand on Duane’s shoulder. 

The woman’s eyes widened as she seemed to take in Duane for the first time, she seemed surprised to see someone so young. “Michonne. My name is Michonne.” 

“Michonne, I don’t know if you are aware, but you are leading around two walkers on a leash.” Tyreese attempted to lighten the mood. 

Michonne glanced over her shoulder at her two silent companions before looking back at them. “They … hide me. From the others.” 

Rick nodded, “makes sense. I once smeared walker guts all over me and walked right through a herd.” That was back in Atlanta, before Beth had joined the group, but Duane liked to tell the story because he thought it was both gruesome and awesome. “Look, we’ve had some bad luck with new people, but if you want to put away your sword you can come back to our camp and we can talk,” said Rick. 

Michonne nodded at Rick’s words and slowly sheathed her blade. Sasha finally moved to put her clothes back on and Beth finished dressing as well. The group slowly moved back to the campsite. Rick made sure he was in between Michonne and the rest of his group, minus Sasha, who walked behind Michonne, gun still drawn. He was wary of this new woman, but at the same time amazed that she had survived alone for so long. He could understand that her isolation had probably caused her mental state to deteriorate. She did not seem to have a gun on her, which also eased Rick a bit. She looked prime to kill walkers, not other living people. The question was could she rejoin the world of the living?

* * *


	10. Chapter 10

* * *

**Chapter Ten**

* * *

Michonne was like a silent specter that haunted the group. 

For the first week she stayed on the fringes, not truly a member but unwilling to leave them, a silent shadow with her walker companions. She did not travel with them as she was reluctant to leave behind her leashed walkers, instead she elected to meet them at their next plotted location. The group wordlessly agreed to not cover more than a few miles at a time to accommodate Michonne. She would disappear and reappear without any notice. 

Beth made it her mission to get the woman to assimilate into the group. 

Tyreese had managed to catch two rabbits in snares he had set up earlier in the day. Tyreese had been trying for weeks to build snares and traps, using a book he had picked up at a house they had scavenged. So the day his snares finally caught something was a bit of a celebration. Beth prepared a stew with canned okra and wild onion. They were camped out at a construction lot at the crossroads of two county roads. A layer of chain link fence surrounded the lot and there was a small trailer that had been used as an office. They had cleared out the desks to use as firewood and set up bedding and sleeping bags in the trailer. Morgan had built up a fire in the pit the equipment had been digging before the Turn, and for once they did not have to worry about how high the fire was in the seven-foot deep pit. 

The group was gathered around the fire, Duane and Sasha talking about how to construct the perfect s’more, which only made Tyreese moan about how much he missed s’mores. Morgan offered up a saltine cracker to toast over the fire and Sasha laughed at her brother’s put out expression. Beth watched Michonne watching them, she was standing at the edge of the incline that sloped down into the pit. Her walkers were presumably still tied to the fence and she had one hand resting on the bottom of her sword sheath. Even as Beth announced the soup was ready Michonne stayed where she was. 

Beth filled two bowls, Rick gave her a curious glance but Beth gave him a reassuring smile. She approached Michonne slowly and with an easy smile. "Rabbit stew, Tyreese's ego is going to be unbearable for a while now that he finally caught something," Beth said as she handed over the bowl.

Michonne took the bowl and studied it for a moment before taking a hesitant sip. She nodded appreciatively and Beth beamed at her. Beth started into her own bowl, staying with Michonne. The next several minutes passed in quiet, both eating and observing the others, until Michonne spoke up, “You with Rick?”

It sounded more like a statement than a question but Beth nodded affirmatively. Michonne studied her for a moment before speaking again, “How old are you?” 

“Nu-uh, none of that,” Beth settled into a resolute stance, one hand on her hip and ready to defend her relationship. “No matter what number I tell you ain’t gonna like it. Age doesn’t matter anymore. I’m not some silly high school girl rebelling against my daddy. I’m old enough to know what I want and when I want it.” Beth finished her tirade only to notice Michonne was watching her with a faint smile. It was the first Beth had seen on the stoic woman and made her look substantially more human.

“Just makin’ sure,” Michonne responded. Beth relaxed again and they stood in a comfortable silence while Michonne took a few more bites of her stew. “This is good,” Michonne’s tone was slightly confused, like it was hard to remember that food could be eaten because it tasted good as opposed to eating only to survive. 

“I collect any spices that we come across. You gotta enjoy the little things, right?” Michonne nodded and finished her meal. They did not exchange anymore words for the rest of the night, but the following day when Michonne reconnected with the group she handed Beth a bottle of seasoning salt.

* * *

“What do you think of Michonne?” Rick asked, watching Beth as she raided a pantry. She was standing on her tiptoes and stretching to get to the top shelf. Rick knew he should do the gentlemanly thing and assist her but he was enjoying the view Beth was presenting him. Rick had found a box of condoms just the day before and he was a strange mix of nerves and anticipation. The still civilized part of himself was disgusted about how much he wanted such a young girl but the world was very different now Beth wasn’t some young, immature girl. Beth was strong, full of hope, and the glue that kept their group close. And the glue that kept his sanity together. 

Rick had not told Beth yet about his find, he didn’t want her to rush into anything, especially when privacy was very hard to come by. The others were spread out in and outside of the house. Rick could hear Duane and Morgan’s steps upstairs, Sasha was a few rooms away from the kitchen, and Michonne was on guard outside with Tyreese. 

Beth triumphantly waved a half full box of instant oatmeal and shot a grin at Rick over her shoulder before turning to address him. She set the oatmeal down on the counter and hopped up to sit beside the box. Beth looked contemplative for a moment and Rick waited. Beth had thus far gotten the most conversation out of Michonne. The woman was protective of the group while still remaining wary. Rick had probably exchanged five words total with her since the she joined them. Tyreese was also friendly with Michonne, but Michonne seemed cautious of Tyreese. Tyreese presented an intimidating picture; he was easily the biggest man in the group and their rations had done little to his former linebacker form. Beth though, Rick had no doubts that Beth could tame the most skittish of colts. 

“I think something bad happened to her,” Beth began. 

“Something bad has happened to all of us,” Rick pointed out. 

“Yeah, but we’re different. We have each other for support and comfort. I think something bad happened to Michonne and then she was alone, didn’t have anyone to help her deal. Can you imagine what would’ve happened to me if Jimmy and I hadn’t run into you?” 

“You’re strong, Beth, you would have made it,” Rick told her confidently. 

Beth shook her head ruefully, “I may be strong now, but back then?” Beth paused and an ashamed expression overtook her features before she spoke again barely above a whisper, “I thought about ending it, back then. My family was gone and I didn’t see the point.”

Rick crossed the kitchen to stand in front of Beth. He gently cupped her cheeks and pressed a soft kiss against her lips trying to soothe her. Beth clutched at Rick’s arms and Rick pulled her against his chest. He knew that Beth had been depressed when she and Jimmy first joined them, but suicidal? He ached just at the thought of not having Beth in his life, Beth, his ray of sunshine. He could understand Michonne turning into the shadow she was now without at least someone in her life. Rick did not even want to contemplate how bad off he would be without Beth. 

“Without you Beth... I’d be lost,” he told her quietly. He wanted Beth to know how much he cared about her and how much she meant to him. He was terrible at vocalizing his thoughts and emotions, so instead he kissed her. He tried to convey everything he felt for her through the kiss and he felt Beth’s breath hitch against his lips. 

“Oi, you two find anything in here? Or are you just making out?” Sasha’s voice interrupted them. Rick pulled back from Beth’s flushed face and plump lips reluctantly. 

“I found your favorite,” Beth’s tone was still breathless but she tossed the box of oatmeal at Sasha.

Sasha rolled her eyes even though it was a good find, “Oh joy. Oatmeal.”

* * *

The helicopter almost seems like a foreign object. It was quite a ways away, but the alien, loud thumping of the engine and blades could be heard clearly. Rick stared, slack jawed, until the helicopter’s propellers started sputtering and it dropped out of their view alarmingly fast. 

“We have to help them!” Beth cried out just a moment before the sound of the crash reached them. Beth’s eyes were full of anguish when Rick’s gaze met hers. Rick felt conflicted, he wanted to protect Beth from the danger the situation presented but he also wanted to fulfill Beth’s desire to help. 

“That’s gonna draw every walker in the state,” Sasha’s tone was resolute, but Rick could see she was troubled as well. 

Morgan, Tyreese and Duane were standing at the truck, paused where they had been repacking and rearranging supplies they had just picked up from the rural neighborhood they were currently in. “We gotta do something, someone could still be alive, someone could know something! That’s the military!” Tyreese argued with his sister. 

“Michonne and I will go,” Rick interrupted before Sasha could point out the danger. 

“What?” Sasha blinked. Normally she was Rick’s number two and she seemed offended she would be left out even though she was against going. 

“We know her walkers shield at least one person, it won’t draw attention like the truck or jeep. If we find anything and need help, we’ll radio for backup.” As Rick spoke he grabbed the two walkies from the cab of the truck and handed one to Sasha. 

“It’s a good plan,” Michonne’s voice was low but drew their attention. She shifted uncomfortably at the focus on her and turned to face her ‘pets’ chained to the hitch on the jeep. 

“It is,” Morgan agreed. Tyreese looked relieved and Sasha nodded reluctantly. 

Beth’s death grip of Rick’s arm pulled his attention back to the blonde. The fear was easy to read in her eyes as she spoke, “You come back to me.” 

“I got this,” Rick gave her a confident grin and pressed a quick kiss to her lips. 

Rick and Michonne moved as swiftly as the walkers would allow. Luckily the terrain was flat and trees not thick so there was little for them to stumble over. Michonne had one hand on the hilt of her sword and her other held the chains. Rick had his python and hunting knife in easy reach and a shoulder bag that only held the walkie. They were surprised how few walkers they passed, and those they did paid them little attention, focused on their lumbering goal. 

They paused when the helicopter came into sight and just as they did they heard the sounds of vehicles. Rick’s first reaction was that the others had thrown his plan out the window but the Dodge truck that pulled up first was unfamiliar and Rick quickly ducked to hide and Michonne was right on his heels. There were a few walkers stumbling towards the helicopter and their noise combined with the newcomers covered the clinking chains. 

The newcomers quickly took out the few walkers, it took a few moments for Rick to realize he recognized these men, and one lone woman. They were the very same that had been collecting walkers. Rick mentally cursed their luck.

Michonne was looking back between the newcomers and Rick and Rick shook his head at her. He hoped she would understand that he had no desire to meet these new people. Michonne nodded back at him. She seemed pleased that they would not be revealing themselves. 

Their attention was drawn back to the group as they found one of the soldiers alive and carried him off to one of their vehicles. Rick did not think this group could do anything new that would surprise him, but then a few of them, the gray-haired woman included, started stabbing the already dead soldiers in the head. Michonne and Rick exchanged an uneasy look. What purpose did stabbing those who were already dead? Unless… Unless Dr. Jenner was right. They are all infected. 

The chains behind them started to jingle again. The two armless and jawless walkers must have been able to smell all the blood in the clearing because they shifted restlessly and pathetic moans gurgled in what was left of their throats. Rick eyed the walkers, Michonne and then the group before them. The woman, her silvery gray hair a tad longer than when Rick had last seen her, looked their way peering into the foliage. Michonne was tense beside him and Rick drew both his knife and the gun, ready for his next move. 

Michonne moved before he could. She stood soundlessly and in two smooth movements decapitated both her walkers. The woman was still peering in their direction trying to find the source of the noise.

“Oi, let’s get a move on, we gotta get that guy back to the doc if he’s gonna have a chance,” a shorter man called out. 

The woman nodded, turning her back on them, “I thought I heard something.” 

“I’m sure you heard lots of somethings. Let’s go.” 

The woman shot one last over her shoulder before following the others back to the vehicles. Rick watched her get into a suburban with the leader, the same tall man from before. He did not relax until the last vehicle pulled out of sight. 

“What the hell was that?” Michonne asked, her voice still quiet. 

“We’ve seen them before. A few months back, they were collecting walkers and pullin’ out their teeth.” Rick told her. 

“We need to get back.” 

“Yeah,” Rick nodded. He wanted his people as far away from that group as possible. They needed shelter, a stronghold, a place to be safe. And Rick was determined that he would find it. He had a family to protect. 

* * *

Duane was going to make an awful poker player, Beth thought as she watched him struggle to keep a huge grin off his face. Tyreese was staring at Duane’s cards also trying to keep a grin off his face as he stroked his beard. It had been a few days since Rick and Michonne’s near run-in with the other group and tensions were still running high. Beth had suggested a card game to relax. Tyreese and Duane had easily agreed, and Beth had been pleasantly surprised to see Michonne join in. 

“Why thank you Duane, I know this must be a good card since it’s sticking out an inch higher than the rest,” Tyreese reached for the card his face falling comically as he examined it. Duane smothered his giggles behind his hand not holding the cards but Beth felt no so compunction. She laughed out loud, smiling so wide that it hurt. “Laugh it up, blondie, your comeuppance is near.” Tyreese waved around the old maid card before shuffling his cards. 

Michonne was to Tyreese’s left and she glanced between Tyreese’s face and the cards as her fingers hovered over Tyreese’s hand. Michonne, on the other hand, would be the best poker player on the planet. Beth thought she saw Tyreese looking a bit nervous under the scrutiny, but then Michonne snatched one of the cards. She studied it for a quick moment before a smile broke out over her full lips. She shuffled her cards and wordlessly offered her hand to Beth. 

Beth studied Michonne carefully. She did not set down any cards but perhaps she just didn’t get a pair. Surely she wouldn’t smile like that if she received the maid. Beth glanced at Tyreese’s face but his gave nothing away. Duane bounced anxiously on her left. Beth quickly grabbed the second card from the end and Beth’s face fell. “What?” She pouted at the card in her hand. Tyreese whooped, Duane laughed, and Michonne broke her poker face with an amused smile. 

The mood was broken as the sounds of cans banging against each other reached them. That was their crude warning system. They were all instantly on guard, Michonne reached for the sword on her back, until Morgan called a few seconds later, “It’s just them returning.” 

Beth still did not relax until Rick and Sasha walked around the truck. “Rick’s got a crazy plan,” Sasha announced as they joined the circle. Morgan was perched on top of the truck cab on lookout but slid off to join them. 

Rick settled next to Beth and Beth squeezed his knee. Rick shot her a grin, his whole face was lit with a fire. “We found a prison.” 

* * *


	11. Chapter 11

* * *

**Chapter Eleven**

* * *

The prison loomed high over the group, some explosion had rocked one of the brick buildings leave a gaping hole in the structure and the bricks spilled past the section of fence that had been torn down, no doubt a result from the same explosion. They had parked the jeep and truck on either side of the gap in the fence and had easily taken down the four lingering walkers in the vicinity. 

“This is the only weakness we could find. We scouted the perimeter and this is the only point of entry. There are yards around the front, fenced in a full of walkers. There’s two layers of tall, chain link fencing and guard towers.” Rick’s eyes gleamed with excitement that Beth could not help but respond to with a smile. Rick had wanted a fortress, leave it to him to actually find one. 

“This seems pretty ambitious, even for us. There could be hundreds of walkers in there,” Morgan pointed out. 

“Possibly. But this is one of the older prisons, it hasn’t been updated in years so most of the doors still lock with keys instead of electronically. There’s a chance that many of the walkers will be behind locked doors. We can clean them out at our leisure,” Rick defended his plan.

“There’s gotta be an infirmary in there, and I bet there’s quite a bit of non-perishables in the kitchen,” Tyreese mused. 

“Imagine if we can get to one of the cell blocks and clear it out. We could have fences and impenetrable concrete and brick walls between up and this,” Rick gestured to the woods behind the jeep and truck. 

“Is this really the best way to do this? It looks pretty foreboding in there.” Beth spoke up as she eyed the crumbling brick building and the dark maw that lead further into the unknown prison. 

“Rick’s plan was to take the yards first. But this way it’s harder for us to get surrounded. And it’s unlikely that the keys to those gates is wandering around out in the yard,” Sasha punctuated with a nod towards the more administration looking buildings. 

The group is set on this plan, and all the possibilities that the prison held gleams in eager eyes. Even Morgan, cautious to a fault, wanted the prison for the protection it would offer Duane and he insisted on being part of the group to enter the penitentiary. So Beth put on her brave face and made sure Rick was equipped with every weapon he could possibly need in there. Carrying an axe along with his python and every knife Beth could find a place for seemed like overkill but Rick just humored Beth with a smile and a quick kiss. 

Rick headed into the burnt-out building followed closely by Morgan, Sasha and Michonne. Beth let out a slow breath as Rick disappeared into the dark. That was not ominous at all. Beth squared her shoulders and turned back to Duane and Tyreese. Tyreese was scanning the tree line, hammer in hand, while Duane had a troubled expression as he watched his father disappear into the same darkness. “So, should we do somethin’ about this fence?” Beth asked, looking for something to occupy the time besides worry. 

Soon they were organized, Duane and Beth trading off helping Tyreese move bricks and debris from the fence. They had a length of barbwire, carefully pulled out of the dirt, and Tyreese wanted to string it in the gap but not until the prison was deemed viable and they found keys so they could use the gates around the front of the prison. 

There were not many walkers in the area, two wandered out of the trees while Beth was on watch and she put them down, bullets clean through the frontal lobe, before they could let out a single snarl. Beth grinned smugly over her shoulder at Duane and Tyreese, who barely acknowledge the quiet thunk of the silenced rifle. She wished that Rick could have seen the clean shots. His blue eyes always danced with delight when Beth proved her skills. She had come a long way since the day in the field when Rick taught her and Duane to take out a walker. 

The work did what Beth set out to do, keep them distracted until the others returned. Morgan was the first to emerge, followed quickly by the others. They were splattered in gore from the close quarter combat, but they were all grinning. No one bit or injured.

“It’s not so bad in there,” Sasha announced as Tyreese patted her on the back. 

“It’s dark though. And the batteries died in one of the flashlights,” Morgan added. 

“But we made it to a cellblock and it was mostly empty,” Rick jingled a key ring with a triumphant smile. 

“We think we’re okay to spend the night. Maybe tomorrow we can work on cleaning out some of the yards and hopefully get to the gates so we can bring the trucks in,” Sasha’s eyes gleamed as the ideas raced through her mind. Michonne remained quiet and cleaned her blade while the others spoke, but she looked satisfied and at ease, which was more calming than any words. 

They decided to spend the night in the cellblock they had reached, and the group grabbed supplies to trek in. The path through the prison was dark and every slight noise echoed. They encountered a few more walkers, including one very desiccated corpse that the others had already walked by twice that let out a hoarse moan and reached for Duane. Beth yanked Duane backwards on instinct and Michonne’s katana sliced through the skull and scraped against the concrete. Duane, wide eyed and panting, only grinned and thanked Michonne. Beth refused to let go of Duane after that, mostly to calm her own nerves, and Morgan nodded at her in thanks. 

The cellblock was musty, but not as bad smelling as some of the corridors they had gone through. There were windows high in the concrete walls so there was some air circulation. Beth finally let her excitement build up as she surveyed the rows of cells. Duane was bounding up the stairs and then poking his head into cells, exclaiming over every minor find. Who would have thought that bleak concrete walls could feel so good? 

* * *

Beth walked into the cell she had claimed for her and Rick to see Rick sprawled over the bottom bunk. He had taken the mattress off the top bunk and laid it on top of the bottom mattress for extra cushioning. There were no sheets or blankets on the mattresses, but Rick lay uncaring with a self-satisfied grin on his face. His eyes were closed but Beth knew he was awake. Beth rolled her eyes but smiled fondly at the sight. 

She dumped the bedding she was carrying on top of Rick. “You look mighty pleased with yourself,” Beth commented as Rick pulled the blanket off his head. 

“I am pleased with myself,” Rick’s grin was still on his face and he reached for Beth. She let herself be tugged down beside him and she kissed him once they were facing each other on their sides. It was a tight fit but Beth definitely didn’t mind being pressed closed against Rick. “There were one of two moments when we were completely surrounded, walkers coming out of turns we previously thought empty, but we all held our cool and stood our ground. Nobody panicked. What we’ve got goin’ right now, it’s really good.” 

Beth took a moment to admire Rick. Rick usually looked like he had the weight of the world on his shoulders and seeing Rick so relaxed and worry-free made a striking sight. “The others went to grab another load from the cars,” Beth told him slyly. 

Rick’s grin vanished, “What? We should be with them. We don’t know how many walkers in are still in the halls.” 

“Sasha wanted someone to stay behind and unlock the door when they get back, in case they find any trouble and need to run for it.” Beth left the keys on the stairs by the door for easy access. “We have, I don’t know, twenty minutes to ourselves?” Beth bit her lip hopefully. There was a chance that Rick would charge off after the others instead of take advantage of their brief alone time together. Beth was full of anticipation, she was giddy from their exciting find, of actually feeling secure, and the adrenaline of clearing the halls had left her with an itch she wanted scratched by Rick. 

“I wanted to wait until we had a full night together, but this does seem like a good celebratory time…” Rick trailed off as he patted his back pockets and then pulled out a small square to show her. 

Beth stared for a moment, it took her awhile to realize what it was, she had never actually seen a condom up close before, “oh. Oh!” Beth grinned widely, quickly toeing off her boots and wriggling out of her jeans simultaneously. 

“We can wait, there’s not rush—“ 

“Shut up, Rick,” Beth shot grin at him to show she did not truly want him to shut up. Really, it was great that Rick was always making sure she was comfortable with how their relationship was progressing. 

“Well alright then,” Rick scooted down and rolled to his knees so he was between her thighs. His hands stopped hers from pulling down her panties and Beth huffed impatiently. “Don’t take all my fun,” His blues eyes met hers with a smirk and then his fingers replace hers and resume her undressing at a slower pace. 

Rick’s fingers were still smudged with dirt and blood, Beth should not want his hands anywhere near her but she craved his touch. Rick’s intense look of focus was trained on her skin that he was slowly revealing, there was rarely enough light to see by when they found chances to fool around. Rick had her panties down to her knees and she resisted the urge to press her thighs together. Even though she wanted Rick, wanted this, it was unnerving to be the subject of his intense focus, especially _that_ part of her. Beth was already breathing heavily just from anticipation and she was glad the others were not around when Rick’s lips met her skin and she gasped loudly. Rick’s lips were on her inner thighs, kissing a trail north and his fingers tracing soothing circles against her skin. And then his mouth was on her, licking between blonde curls and headed straight for her clit. Beth cried out, her hands sinking into Rick’s hair, and then Rick’s tongue was inside of her, just for a moment before licking back to her clit. 

Beth began to feel the tingling tells of an orgasm but Rick pulled away, resisting her grip in his hair that wanted to pull him and his mouth back to finish the job. He sat back, hunched to avoid the top bunk, and fumbled with his belt and then zipper. Beth watched eagerly, hungrily, Rick left her at the edge and she wanted more. 

“Will you put this on?” Rick asked as he tore open the condom packaging. “Your hands are cleaner than mine.” 

Beth took the condom out and fumbled awkwardly. She had dirt under her nails but otherwise her fingers were pristine compared to Rick’s. Rick’s fingers hover over hers, helping her to roll the condom on his smooth length while not actually touching the condom. 

Beth looked up to meet Rick’s eyes with a triumphant grin once the condom was fully on, and Rick was staring down at her with a look of adoration. Beth blushed happily. Rick made her happy and sometimes she barely believed he was happier with her than he would be with someone tougher like Sasha. But that look, Rick looked like she was the only thing that mattered and it squeezed her heart. She threw her arms around his neck and tugged him down for a kiss. Their noses bumped and Rick let out a small laugh before kissing her properly. 

He tugged on her arm until she let go and he guided her hand back to his cock. “Guide me in,” He whispered against her lips. Beth could not resist running her nails along his length, Rick groaned against her neck, before guiding him to her entrance. Rick pushed in slowly, just the head, and Beth could not keep her face from scrunching in discomfort. The feeling was weird, more alien than his fingers, and her muscles stretched uncomfortably. 

“This okay?” Rick’s rough voice asked. 

“Yeah,” Beth nodded, she wished that she had paid slightly more attention to girls in her class that used to gossip about their first time, she knew that it would be uncomfortable at first, but how long would it last? Rick continued his measured pace, pushing in slowly and watching her face until he was in to the hilt. Rick let out a drawn out, “fuck,” muffled by Beth’s hair and he breathed deeply to settle himself. 

Rick tilted his head enough so he could look into her eyes, his gaze was dark and full of need. “Touch yourself,” his voice was low and rough and sent a shiver down her spine. Beth’s hand left Rick’s back and shyly traced along her stomach heading further down. Rick’s eyes were hungry as he watched her, and Beth forgot her discomfort as she grew heated under his passionate look. As Beth’s fingers brushed against her clit they also bumped against where they were joined and Rick hissed while Beth moaned at the added stimulation. Rick began to move, he tried to keep his pace slow but quickly lost his pace with encouragement from Beth. 

It did not take Beth long, with her fingers on her clit and Rick inside her, before she burst. She clenched around Rick, her cry muffled by Rick’s still clothed shoulder. Rick let himself go a moment later. Rick rolled to his side, sliding out of her and Beth felt her sore muscles protest the movement. But then Rick was pulling her into a kiss and they spent several long moments exchanging deep kisses. Beth was oblivious to the world until Rick pulled away with a groan and began fumbling with his clothes. Beth then heard distant voices and moved to sit up but was stopped by Rick. “I got it,” he said and then gave her a quick kiss before crawling off the bunk. 

Rick was exiting the cell when Sasha’s voice rang out for them and Beth slowly pulled her own clothes back on but stayed on the bed, in no hurry to move. She could not keep the content smile on her face as she listened to the others talking with Rick. She looked forward to dishing with Sasha later. 

* * *

They were all lined up to help clear the courtyard that was off their claimed cellblock. No one had been able to see the yards since Rick and Sasha initially scouted the prison two days before. Duane was standing in front of Beth, bouncing on the balls of his feet and eager to contribute. Beth was full of nervous energy, the anticipation of purposely facing so many walkers totally ruined the blissed-out haze she had been in since last night. 

Sasha had peeked out the door fifteen minutes ago, just enough to see that most of the walkers were along the fence line. She thought that something had caught their attention but from her limited view she could not see what. She did not think it had been living people to distract them, or at least not people with guns as they never heard any shots, so that at least ruled out that other group they kept bumping into. 

Beth was distracted, staring at Rick as he and Michonne discussed strategy, his stubble was beginning to cross the line into beard territory and Beth grew warm just thinking about how it felt against the inside of her thighs. 

“You gonna be okay out there?” Sasha’s elbow in her side drew her attention. 

“Of course, one hundred percent,” Beth tried to sound confident but her cheeks burned at being caught staring. 

“Yeah, I’ll bet you’re at one hundred percent,” Sasha flashed Beth a cheeky grin. 

Just as Rick was signaling that he was about to open the door they heard a gunshot. Everyone froze. Then they heard another, and another. There was clearly more than one gun being fired, they were not in the prison or right outside but perhaps in one of the further yards. 

“Oh, Hell no,” Sasha cursed. 

“Is it them?” Morgan wondered out loud. There was no need to clarify them, there was only one heavily armed group running around Georgia that they knew of. 

Michonne was at Rick’s side in front of the door. With a sword and axe they were the deadliest threat to walkers and therefore in the lead. “Only one way to find out,” Michonne replied before pushing the door open with her hip and sword poised to do damage. 

Rick let out a curse as he stumbled at Michonne’s unexpected maneuver and followed. Sasha was not about to wait around and went out after them. Duane and Beth had been right behind Sasha and Duane slipped out before Beth could think to stop him so she followed. Morgan and Tyreese were right on her heels. 

There were only walkers in the courtyard with them, and there was too much chaos for Beth to clearly see what was happening but a quick glance at the yard showed there were a few people in one of the towers firing at walkers. “Sasha, get the gate, we got this one!” Rick yelled and pointed at the gate most of the walkers were emptying out into the yard while he and Michonne ran towards a different open gate separating their courtyard from another that had walkers spilling through it. Duane followed Rick and Beth knew that Morgan would too so she followed Sasha. 

Sasha reached the gate and started tugging on the chain links to slide the gate closed. Beth had Jimmy’s bat in her hands and swung low at a limping walker that had turned around at the new noises and was reaching for Sasha. She hit it in the knee, the force of the blow caused the walker to stumble back into the open yard. Sasha grabbed Beth’s upper arm and pulled her back as Tyreese finished sliding the gate closed. Tyreese only had carabineer clips to keep the gate closed, which would work against walkers but not other people. He used it anyway and then the three of them turned to take out the rest of the walkers in the courtyard. 

Beth did catch sight of Rick struggling with a walker wearing a guard’s riot gear while Michonne sliced through walkers that dared to step through the gate. Duane was pulling the gate closed while Morgan fought another walker further on. Rick pushed the armored walker away using his axe’s long handle and then drew his python and fired. The helmet was not bullet-proof, and the walker crumpled. 

“Well, well, well, what do we have here?” Beth jumped at the voice behind her and turned around to face a man leaning against the gate and leering at her. 

Beth was the closest to the gate and she dropped the bat to draw her pistol. Her aim was steady even though her heart was pounding as she studied the man surrounded by walker corpses. The man was wearing a dirty wife-beater, probably in his forties with brown hair. He had a tough face and a dangerous air about him. He held up his hands in surrender to Beth and his southern draw thick as he said, "Easy now, sugar lips. Looks like great minds think alike."

* * *


	12. Chapter 12

* * *

**Chapter Twelve**

* * *

Tyreese and Sasha immediately flanked Beth. Sasha had her gun trained on the man as well, but Tyreese held his hands up and attempted to ease the situation. The man did not seem to be worried about the two guns pointed at him, he was at complete ease as he studied them leaning against the chain link fence. Beth noticed he was not alone, there were a few people in the tower and a couple in the fencing pathway that separated the yards from the open land around the prison, and they were heading their way. Beth took a steadying breath, the walkers in the outer yard were taken care of and she did not want to turn her eyes from the man in front of her to see how things fared with Rick and the others. 

“Easy now, we don’t want trouble,” Tyreese addressed the man using a friendly tone. 

“Ain’t that a shame!” The other man chuckled. 

“Merle!” A voice called from behind the man, and the man acknowledge with a nod towards the group walking cautiously up the slope. 

The group approaching them was an eclectic mix of five people. The man in the middle that seemed to be the leader, he was wearing a mix of military clothes and a ball cap that read ‘sheriff’, he was flanked by a white, redneck looking man who had called out to ‘Merle’, he had a crossbow and looked the most dangerous. There was also a bald, black man that looked slightly broader but shorter than Tyreese, a skinny Asian man, and a blonde woman, all with guns. Beth had never seen the group closely that they had previously evaded, but these people did not seem to be them. They were less organized and while armed, not as well equipped. 

“We were just comin’ to clear out the yard of this prison, looks like a nice place to stay for a while, ya know?” The man in the sheriff hat stated as he neared the fence.

“Looks like we beat you to it,” Sasha replied calmly and not lowering her weapon, which was still trained on ‘Merle.’ 

“Now this is a big place, surely there’s enough room to share? We don’t need to come to violence, it won’t end pretty for either party.” The man was right, Beth and Sasha had the better weapons but they were outnumbered, if they all started firing both sides were sure to lose people. There also was not any cover besides the chain link fence. The only advantage they held was that they had a building to retreat to if they could make it unharmed. There was something about this man that made Beth nervous, he had a sly smile on his face and looked about as trustworthy as a snake. 

“We don’t want trouble, but we were here first,” Tyreese addressed the man in the sheriff’s hat. 

“A black man already inside a prison? Surprise, surprise,” the first man spit. Beth gaped. Seriously? The word’s population had been decimated and this guy still found time to be racist? Sasha bristled beside her but Tyreese remained calm. 

“Merle, there’s no need for that, these people seem like good people.” The new group’s leader did not seem upset about the rude comments, and that made Beth even more uneasy. “Now, we’re just people looking for a place to stay, we mean no harm to you good people. We’ve also got women and children in our group, just like you folks.” 

“What’s going on here?” Rick’s voice interrupted. He was splattered in gore, walking up to the group with confidence and authority oozing from his stern expression. Michonne looked especially fierce on Rick’s right, with her bloody sword resting on her shoulder and a glare on her face. Morgan was on Rick’s other side and looked ready to knock some heads together while Duane peered around his father curiously. 

“Rick?” The leader asked disbelievingly, and everyone’s gaze flew to Rick and then back to the leader.

Rick faltered as he studied the other man. “Shane?” his tone was just as disbelieving. 

“Son of a bitch! Rick! You’re alive!” the other man laughed and now everyone on both sides of the fence looked confused. 

“Don’t think I’ve ever been happier to see your face,” and Rick was smiling. He finished walking up to the fence that separated the two groups. 

“Do you mind introducing us, cupcake?” Merle asked with a derisive snort. 

“This here is Rick Grimes, my partner from the force and best friend. Last I saw him he was lying in a hospital bed in a medically induced coma after being shot,” the man grinned. He looked genuinely happy to see Rick but Beth still felt uneasy. 

“Yeah… I woke up about a month after the dead started walking, I guess.” 

“Shit, man, I tried to get you… when people were evacuating but you wouldn’t wake up. So I barricaded your door and ran.” 

“Rick, you trust this man?” Morgan asked lowly. He had a skeptical look on his face. Beth was glad for Morgan’s usual caution. She had an awful feeling welling in her gut. If this was Shane, who Rick had mentioned to her in the past, then who else from Rick’s hometown was with him?

“I trust this man with my life, but I don’t know these others,” Rick stated boldly and he surveyed the people around Shane. 

“These are good people, some are just a little rough on the edges like Merle here. This is his brother Daryl, and that’s T-Dog, Glenn and Andrea.” Shane pointed to each member of his group. 

“This here is Morgan, he found me after I left the hospital. This is his son Duane, that’s Beth, Sasha, Tyrese and Michonne.” The groups still eyed each other cautiously minus Shane and Rick. “Is… is anyone else with you?” Rick asked carefully. 

“Shit, yeah, man, Carl and Lori. They’re fine.” Rick’s shoulders sagged in relief and he placed a hand on the fence to steady himself. 

Beth’s heart plummeted and the horrible feeling welling in her chest made it hard for her to breathe. 

The blonde on the other side of the fence spoke, “Wait, is this Lori’s dead husband?” she asked. 

“Not so dead lookin’ to me.” Merle cracked. 

“T-Dog, Daryl, go get the others,” Shane ordered and then turned back to Rick, “Rick, can I talk to you a second? Alone?” 

“What’s wrong?” Rick frowned and a hand went to his holstered gun as he watched the two men retreated to the outer fencing where they had cut into the fence.

“Nothing’s wrong, I just want to have a word with you.” Shane held up a hand to placate Rick.

“Tyreese, Sasha, let’s open up the gate.” Rick gestured to the gate Tyreese had clipped shut. The rest of their group followed Rick including Beth feeling lightheaded, but Michonne kept an eye on the four remaining of the other group. They still seemed untrustworthy, but at the same time, these were the people that Rick had been searching for all along. He was about to be reunited with his _family_. 

“Rick, I know you’re excited but let’s be cautious,” Morgan warned quietly. 

“I know, I know. We need to be on alert. I don’t like the look of the one that won’t shut up,” Rick agreed just a quiet.

Soon Rick and Tyreese were hauling open the gate and the other group minus the black man and the younger redneck were walking in, looking up at the strong, cement walls in awe. 

Sasha placed a comforting hand on Beth’s shoulder, “hey, it’s gonna be okay,” She said quietly. 

Beth shook her head, “We’ve never really discussed this, I always avoided the topic… I never thought that this would actually happen.” She turned to face the older girl. 

Sasha pulled her into a tight hug, “Rick ain’t gonna abandon you. He cares about you.” 

“He’s about to be reunited with his _wife_.” Beth glanced over at Rick, he and Shane were standing away from the others and Beth could not tell what was being said. 

The blonde woman approached them, Andrea, with a friendly expression on her face and the Asian man was close behind her. “Hi, I’m Andrea and this is Glenn. It’s nice to see some friendly faces.” 

“Same here. There’s a lot of bad people out there.” Sasha replied as she shook her hand. “I’m Sasha, and this is Beth.”

“Hello,” Beth greeted with a halfhearted smile. 

“How long have you guys been together?” asked Glenn curiously. 

“Well, Beth here was with Rick, Morgan and Duane a few months before Tyreese and I joined. Michonne has only been with us for about a month.” 

“You haven’t lost anyone?” Andrea enquired.

“Well… Tyreese and I joined with three others, but we went separate ways… and when Beth joined she was with a friend.” 

Beth nodded, “he was bit. The others … left after a disagreement.” Beth really did not feel like making small talk with these people let alone going into the detail about the Ben Incident.

“So few of you for this long though, you guys must be pretty tough,” Glenn grinned.

“We are.” Michonne’s voice joined the conversation. Beth had not noticed Michonne approach, but there she was with her game face on. “What’s your man talking to Rick about?” She asked. 

Glenn and Andrea both looked over at Shane and Rick, Shane looked uneasy and Rick’s face was blank. “Yeah, that must be the most awkward conversation ever.” Glenn joked.

Andrea nodded in agreement, “I imagine Shane is telling Rick about his … wife’s … condition.” 

“Condition?” Sasha asked curiously. 

“She’s pregnant.” Glenn said bluntly. 

“Oh!” Beth gasped and she exchanged a look of surprise with Sasha. 

“Like, about to pop. It’s one of the reasons Shane wants this prison so bad. Fences between a crying baby and that,” Andrea added with gesture towards the trees outside the fences.

“Is he… the father?” Beth asked quietly. Beth knew there was no way it was Rick’s if Lori was still pregnant, too much time had passed. “Yup.” Glenn nodded. Beth felt awful for wave of happiness washing over her at the news that Lori was clearly with another man. Rick had been in a coma, she probably thought Rick had been dead. The real question was how Lori would react to her husband not being dead. Beth was feeling so overwhelmed, she really wanted to retreat to their cell block and curl up in the bedding that no doubt still smelled like her and Rick and pretend this day had never started. 

They then heard engines. A small SUV and a red suburban following a motorcycle came into view. Daryl was on the bike, he stopped in front of the still locked gate and the others stopped around him. Shane had a hand on Rick’s shoulder but Rick’s stiff posture could be seen from where Beth was standing. She tried to keep a brave face as Rick glanced back at her but she had a feeling she was failing miserably. Here we go, she thought grimly as people began to exit the vehicles.

* * *

The prison was everything Rick wanted for a sanctuary: multiple layers of study, chain-link fencing separating them from walkers; thick, concrete and brick walls to deter people who would harm his people; and lots of space for his people to feel comfortable in. The previous night was the securest he’d felt since his brief stay at the CDC back in Atlanta. Beth, with an excited smile, had planned late into the night about what they could do with the large yards, they could plant crops and maybe take on some livestock. Lying in a bed with Beth in his arms, he knew he would do everything to bring her plans to fruition. Rick could picture her teaching them all how to plant crops, walkers becoming only a minor threat. 

Rick had felt a brief pang of guilt as he thought of Beth and this new home, as he often did when he thought about giving up the search for Carl and Lori. He had already emotionally moved on from Lori, they had been distant before his coma, but Carl was much harder to get over. Carl was his blood, his son, and Rick’s chest ached at never being able to see him again. It had almost been a year since he woke up in the hospital and he had dragged his companions all over the state trying to find his lost family. He had put them all in danger multiple times, not only from walkers but the hostile people that were left in this world. He was going to embrace this new life. He had not just allies, but close friends, and he now had Beth. Beth, who kept him grounded, who made sure he ate and slept enough, who would badger him when he neglected his own needs over the others’ needs. He did not think he would ever give up his longing for his lost son, but he thought he could finally start to move on. 

It figured that when he finally let go of his past it would all blow up in his face.

Duane and Morgan had the gate shut to the other courtyard. Michonne and Rick took out the last walkers with ease, Rick perhaps being a bit too brutal in killing the last one. “Rick,” Michonne hissed grabbing his attention back to the more pressing problem. She gestured to the gate Sasha had closed and he saw the new unknown group approaching his people, approaching _Beth_. 

“Shit,” Rick cursed and the two of them started back across the courtyard, Morgan and Duane joining them. Rick put his cop face on, he was not about to lose this find but he did not want to lose any one of his group either. He glanced at Beth as he approached, she looked determined but scared and her grip was steady on the gun she was aiming. Rick wasn’t letting “What’s going on here?” Rick called as soon as he was close enough. 

And then he felt like he stumbled into the twilight zone. In front of him was Shane, his best friend since middle school and his former partner. Rick tried his best to remain calm about this find, he tried to think practically. He did not recognize a single person Shane was with, and two of them looked more unsavory than the rest. He tried to reassure Morgan that his head was in the right place, that they would all be careful. But Shane said _Carl and Lori were alive_. Carl. How many times had he watched Duane and thought of his own son? Wondering if he was a walker or if he was alive, if he was safe or in danger? 

Shane approached him once they had the gate open, he had a look of trepidation on his face that gave Rick an urge to punch the expression off his face. He had bad news, Rick could feel it. They exchanged a brief hug and clapped each other on the back, reminiscent of days long past. “Shane, what’s wrong? Did something happen to Carl?” 

“Listen, Rick… we all thought you were dead. I tried to wake you up at the hospital, but the power went out and the equipment hooked up to you turned off and … I panicked. There were soldiers in the halls shooting the dead and living, so I blocked off your door and ran. I told Lori and Carl that you were dead, I knew they would never evacuate if they thought you were still alive and we couldn’t transport you in your current condition.”

Rick nodded impatiently, “It’s fine, I understand why you did it. I’m not mad.” And really, Rick was not, not about being left behind, not if it meant Carl was safe.

Shane studied him intently before continuing. “I took care of Lori and Carl as best as I could. We were all scared. And I… comforted Lori. We started… a relationship. We thought you were dead. If I knew you would wake up I would never have…” Shane trailed off and looked at the ground. 

Rick blinked in surprise and tried to keep his face expressionless. Shane and Lori were…together. Rick could not believe that Shane was so upfront about it. In the past Shane never had a problem lying to anyone about affairs and Rick could not believe his change of character. Maybe the world ending turned Shane into a better person. Rick did not feel angry at the news. He should have, he should want to punch Shane in the face or something but he instead felt relief. Relief that there was not anything wrong with Carl, and well, relief that Lori had moved on as well. He could stay with Beth. 

“That’s it?” Rick asked. “Nothing’s wrong with Carl?” 

“Well… he ain’t too happy with us, but nothing’s wrong with Carl. But Lori… she’s pregnant.” 

Oh. Well, that explained why Shane was not trying to hide or lie about this. Maybe Shane was still the same old Shane. Rick did get angry then, but not for the expected reasons. He had always wanted Carl to have brothers and sisters but Lori didn’t so they never tried for any more kids. It was one of the wedges in their relationship that caused friction between them. And here they are, world falling to pieces and Lori was about to have another baby with another man. Rick knew that it had to have been an accident, Lori hadn’t wanted another child when the world was okay there’s no way she would have tried to get pregnant. But it still hurt. “Pregnant.” Rick repeated, saying the word out loud made it seem more real and that he had not hallucinated the entire conversation to cover Shane saying something worse. 

But Shane nodded. “Yeah… she’s due any day now. It’s one of the reasons we need this prison. We can’t stay on the move with a baby.” 

“Yeah, I hear you.” Rick nodded again. He really wanted to punch Shane. Or worse.

They were interrupted by several vehicles pulling up down at the main gate into the prison. He glanced behind him at the rest of his group, they were all on guard except Duane, who looked excited to see new people, and Beth, who looked miserable. Rick felt the strong urge to comfort her, he definitely did not want to give up their relationship but she didn’t know that. He had to reassure her that he did not want Lori, and not because she was pregnant with another man’s child, but because Lori wasn’t _Beth_. 

But then doors were opening and he looked back at the emerging people. One of the two men that went to fetch the group must have said something because Carl leapt out of the suburban with a wild expression on his face and ran for the hole in the fence Shane’s group had cut. 

“Carl!” Rick called and his worry about Beth and anger over Lori were forgotten as he saw his son. He looked older, no surprise there, and his hair was longer but he smiled and yelled “DAD!” and Rick took off running. Rick met him halfway down the yard and sank to his knees and Carl ran straight into him. They were both crying and Rick started laughing. It was real, Carl was real, and he was here in his arms, alive and safe. 

“Dad, Shane said you were dead,” Carl said through his tears. 

“I’m not, everything’s going to be okay now,” Rick murmured into Carl’s hair. He spent several long moments just enjoying the feel of his son in his arms. 

Rick looked up as he heard more people approaching. There were others with Lori, hovering around her but Rick did not look at them. Shane was not lying; she looked like she could go into labor any minute. Her stomach looked huge in comparison to how skinny she was. Rick felt another pang of anger, could Shane not even feed his people properly? She looked awful. 

“Rick,” she greeted uncertainly. Her hands were cradling her stomach and she was chewing on her bottom lip. 

“Hey,” Rick greeted back. He loosened his grip on Carl enough to stand but did not let go of him completely. They just stood staring at each other, both groups gathering loosely around them. “I don’t really know what to say,” Rick told her honestly. 

“Me neither,” she shrugged with a weak smile, “But it’s so good to see you.” 

“You too.” 

“It’s Shane’s.” Carl spoke up. His tone was angry and Rick looked down to see him glaring at Shane, who had approached Lori’s side. 

“I know,” Rick responded softly. 

They were then interrupted by another reunion. Most of Shane’s group had gathered loosely behind Lori, curious to these new people, and one among the crowd, a pretty brunette, called out, “Beth?!” 

Rick glanced up at this new girl and then back at Beth, who looked shocked. “Maggie?” And then her face looked even more surprised, “Daddy?!” And the pretty brunette ran towards Beth and Beth took a few disbelieving steps before the other girl reached her and pulled her into a tight hug. She was followed by an older man with white hair pulled back into a ponytail and he hugged both girls, they were all crying. 

“Well, how do you like that? Reunions all around. You got our daddy hiding somewhere? Probably not, he’d never put up with you people,” Merle snickered. His brother, Daryl, rolled his eyes before elbowing his brother. “What? Hey T-Dog, any of them your people?” 

“Yeah, ‘cuz I’m related to every other black person in Georgia,” he replied, sarcasm dripping as he sighed. 

“You tellin’ me you ain’t?” Merle sneered back. 

“Hey, now, let’s just calm down.” Rick stepped away from his son towards Merle. If Merle wasn’t careful he’d soon have Michonne’s katana sprouting between his ribs. Not that it was unwarranted, and Rick would do little to stop her, but bloodshed was probably not the best way to handle these reunions. “Why don’t we move everything back to the courtyard before every walker in the area comes investigating?” He suggested. 

Rick watched with a cautious eye as Beth was surrounded by her long-lost sister and father. Beth had accepted losing her family much better than Rick had. Once they had returned to the farm and buried her mother and brother she had made peace with the loss of her entire family. Now she looked incredulous but happy. Rick tried not to concentrate on Beth too closely. This merge of groups needed his full attention. And there was something Rick wanted to handle first. 

Hey Carl,” Rick steered his son with a hand on his shoulder towards Morgan and Duane, “there’s someone I want you to meet.”

* * *


	13. Chapter 13

* * *

**Chapter Thirteen**

* * *

“You guys took the prison? The whole prison?” T-Dog wore a perfect expression of awe as he looked around the cement walls like they were a rare masterpiece. Glenn stood at his side with an identical look on his face. 

“Not the whole prison,” Sasha corrected as she came to stand on T-Dog’s other side. “Just this cell block, the boiler room, and the hallways we’ve traversed. But those fill back up. There’s a giant hole out back that we came in through.” 

“Hole? I guess Daryl didn’t scout the whole thing,” Glenn muttered and shot a glance over his shoulder at the Dixons up on the catwalk.

“I still don’t like this, Rick, we’re in a prison and it _feels_ like a prison.” Shane said in a low, irritated voice at Rick’s side. Rick refrained from rolling his eyes. Shane had always been a sore loser, even back in the days of board games Shane would knock over the board if he was losing badly. Shane had never grown out of tantrums and sulking, as he was demonstrating now. 

Shane’s original plan was to take the yard and only the yard. They could pop tents, maybe build lean-tos, but he had thought the prison could not be taken. He was a bit put out to learn Rick had taken the prison with only three other people, to put it mildly. He had then argued that his group should stay in the yard, that the prison would be too cramped and dank. He was quickly outvoted by his group, whom were eager to be behind walls, not just fences. 

Rick had kept his triumphant smirk to himself, he knew gloating would send Shane over the edge. “Shane, we’ve got thick, concrete walls and metal bars. We’re secure from not only walkers but other people that are out there,” Rick reasoned. 

“Do you want your son growing up in a prison? I sure as shit don’t want my baby to,” Shane began the argument anew and Rick did his best not to sigh. It felt like Shane was trying to pick a fight, lord knows why, Rick thought he was doing a remarkable job of behaving all things considered. 

“Shane, this is the best we’ve had it in a long time, no one cares that it’s a prison,” Lori interrupted. Lori had her hands still wrapped around her belly protectively, but Rick was happy to see the smile on her face as she looked around. 

Shane’s look was murderous that Lori was taking Rick’s side but he only nodded in response, “Fine.” 

Rick nodded, glad for the reprieve from Shane. No doubt Shane would find something new to bitch about sooner rather than later. So Rick took a moment to enjoy the cheerful atmosphere and watched his son. Introducing the boys had gone very well, just as Rick had always imagined. Carl was shy at first, shyer than Rick remembered him being from Before, but Duane was exuberant as always and soon had Carl in a discussion regarding the comics Duane had collected along the way. Rick had encouraged Duane to take Carl to show off the cell block and the boys had run off, Carl with a huge grin. Letting Carl out of Lori’s sight had started Shane’s rant against going inside the prison. But now Carl and Duane were laughing and running from cell to cell, “Hey, do you want to share with me?” Duane asked. 

Carl nodded enthusiastically, “Hey dad! Can I share with Duane?” Rick did not miss the look of pain that flashed Lori’s face that Carl was still ignoring her. Rick turned to check with Morgan, who nodded his consent. Morgan was clearly happy that his son finally had a companion his own age to be a kid with. “It’s all right with me,” Rick responded. Carl and Duane whooped and ran up the stairs to choose a ‘better’ cell. 

“Bethy, do you want to share with me?” Beth’s father, Hershel Greene, turned to face her while he asked. Beth was still firmly ensconced between her father and sister. Rick was less than ten feet away from them and he could clearly see Beth’s panicked expression. Rick could not help but mirror the sentiment. He needed to talk with Beth. Rick did not want to hide his relationship with Beth, that would only be disastrous. But there was a correct time and place to break the news to their families and now was not the time. 

“Uh…” Beth clearly did not know how to respond to her father’s request, and she was eyeing her shared cell with Rick. 

“Sir, if you don’t mind, Beth and I are sharing,” Sasha came up and put an arm around Beth’s shoulders. “Us girls gotta stick together.”

“That sounds fine,” Hershel nodded. Rick let out a low breath at the crisis averted.

“Rick?” Lori’s touch on his elbow brought her focus back to her. Rick did not miss Shane’s dark look at Lori’s touch. “Can we talk? Just the three of us?” 

Rick exchanged a quick glance with Morgan and Michonne, they both nodded at the silent command to keep watch. Michonne had yet to let the Dixon brothers out of her sight and Rick knew that was unlikely to change anytime soon. “Sure, back outside?” Rick asked and Lori nodded gratefully. Shane stalked after them, and Rick could feel Shane gearing up for another argument. 

“I just wanted to clear the air, without an audience,” Lori spoke as soon as they were in the courtyard again. She settled at the picnic table and Rick sat next to her on the bench. Shane remained standing, arms crossed as he stared out over the grounds. 

“I’m glad you’re safe and… mostly well,” Rick started. The whole situation felt so surreal. Rick had imagined this reunion a hundred different ways and he never expected to feel so disconnected from Lori. There was no joyful reunion, no happy tears or declarations of love. And Rick was strangely relieved. 

Lori cracked a small smile before it vanished, “If I had known you were alive, that there was even the slightest chance, I never would have—“ 

Rick waved Lori’s words away as he shook his head. It was one thing to think that, but it was another to live it. A year ago, Rick would have sworn on his mother’s grave that he never would cheat on Lori. But here he was, trying to find a way to break it to his wife that that he had cheated. That their marriage was done. Too much time had passed and too much had happened. Irrevocably broken. “You don’t have to say that. I know what it’s like to be lonely. It’ll soon be a year since I was shot. I don’t blame you two for doing this. For moving on.” 

Lori studied him intently before speaking, “You’re with someone. That’s why you’re so… okay with this.” 

Rick ducked his head and scratched the back on his neck, avoiding eye contact with his wife. Lori had always complained that she never knew what Rick was thinking, but Rick thought otherwise, she could read him easily. “Yeah,” he nodded. 

“Is it Sasha? She’s very pretty.” Lori nudged Rick with her shoulder. 

Rick looked up at her, she was smiling and looking relieved. Rick could imagine how guilty Lori must have felt since this morning, learning her husband was alive while she had moved on. Rick smiled back at her, he was hopeful they could be amicable, friends even. He still cared about her but his heart had moved on. “It’s not Sasha...” Rick started slowly. 

“The scary one with the sword? Rick, she’s not your type at all!” Lori teased. It felt good, to be joking with Lori. Shane was still watching them with a glare but Rick didn’t acknowledge him. 

“Strike two,” Rick replied. 

Lori’s eyes widened as she thought about his other options. “Oh,” She exclaimed before a mischievous smile overtook her features. “That girl’s daddy is going to kill you. Isn’t she sixteen?” 

Rick smiled ruefully, “She’s seventeen.” 

“So here you are, givin’ us a hard time while you’re fuckin’ a child?” Shane finally snapped. 

“I don’t think I’ve been givin’ either of you a hard time.” Rick looked at Lori for confirmation. “I should have broken your jaw the second you told me.” 

Lori rolled her eyes, “Stop it, both of you. Shane, what the hell is your problem?” 

“My problem? MY problem? I’ve kept you and Carl safe all this time, and Rick’s been here for five goddamn minutes and you’ve taken his side on everything.” 

“Shane, your plan is to stay in the yard and camp there. Rick’s plan is to take the prison, get a solid four walls and a roof. Of course I agree with his plan. I want every layer of protection I can get between my children and those things out there.” Lori huffed and stood. “I’ll leave you two to bicker, I’ve got to see Hershel and Andrea about my new birthing plan.” She leveled a glare at each of them, which Rick felt was unwarranted on his part, before angrily waddling back to the prison. 

“I’m not gonna stop you and Lori bein’ together. So you’re gonna stop gettin’ in my face about it,” Rick turned to confront Shane the instant the door shut behind Lori. 

“Lori and me… we’re not, well, we are—look, it’s not like we’re the pizza kid and the farmer’s daughter,” Shane glared mulishly at Rick. 

Rick had no idea what Shane meant and they spent a few moments glaring before it finally dawned on Rick. Shane was threatened by Rick because Shane and Lori were not specifically _together_. Rick could not help but chuckle. “Well, you’re the one that always told me to just talk to Lori when we were fighin’, so take your own damn advice,” Rick retorted before heading back to the prison and leaving Shane behind. Rick was going to take Shane’s advice for once. He had to talk with Beth.

* * *

Rick did not want to interrupt Beth’s family surrounding her, her father certainly didn’t look ready to have Beth leave his sight. So instead Rick nodded to Beth when she glanced in his direction and moved on to collect his son along with a few of his own people plus Shane’s people and headed back out to the yard. 

Sasha had every key they had run across so far in the prison and they set about seeing if any of the keys went to the front gates. Rick also talked about setting a watch schedule so they would always have someone posted in one of the guard towers. Andrea, the blonde woman from Shane’s group, volunteered first watch and Sasha agreed to relieve her in a few hours. Rick enjoyed getting to know these new people without Shane glaring and hovering in the background. Glenn was the friendliest, he was dating Beth’s older sister Maggie and he told Rick about several of the close calls he’d had thus far with ‘geeks’. T-Dog was quick to point out when Glenn exaggerated too much and the two of them bickered good-naturedly. T-Dog seemed to share more than just his size with Tyreese, he also seemed to be a big softy underneath his tough looking exterior. Andrea was a no-nonsense, straight forward woman and reminded Rick of some of the district attorneys he had known, so he asked her if she used to be a lawyer; she had. 

They managed to get the gates open and pulled in the vehicles from Shane’s group. Morgan and Rick agreed to wait another day or two before pulling their own in as already a few walkers were attracted to the fences with the noise they had made. 

Rick carried Carl’s possessions into the cellblock, which all fit in a single backpack, and helped his son set up in the cell he wanted to share with Duane. Rick found himself alone with his son in the cell, Duane off with Morgan. And Rick, who had never been good with words, settled in for a talk with his son.

“Carl, I’m not mad at your mother, and I don’t think you should be either,” Rick began as he sat on the bottom bunk next to his son. 

Carl looked at him in disbelief, “you’re not? But… Shane and mom!”

“She thought I was dead. The world has changed so much and all I care about is that Shane kept you and your mom safe.” 

Carl looked conflicted as he mulled over Rick’s words, “You’re really not mad? Even though they started sneaking off together only a few weeks after we left home?” 

And that did sting. Rick knew that Shane and Lori had to have gotten together not long after his ‘death’ but to actually be confronted with it was a gut punch. He did his best to keep any anger off his face and out of his tone, “Nobody’s perfect.” 

“So… Are you and mom gonna get back together?” Carl asked dubiously. 

“Ah, no. Your mom and I… we’ve _both_ moved on. We’ve changed too much. The world has changed too much. But all that matters is that we both still love you and that’s never gonna change.” 

“Daaad,” Carl rolled his eyes, embarrassed. 

“Besides, do you remember what you told your third-grade teacher? You had to write a report on what you wanted to be when you grew up and you said a big brother?” Rick reminded with a fond smile. 

“She told me being a brother wasn’t an occupation and she gave me a C,” Carl pointed out.

“Well, now it is. You have to protect your mom and your little brother or sister. Right?” 

“Right,” Carl acknowledged thoughtfully. 

“And I’m gonna make sure you can,” Rick promised. Rick did not tell Carl about Beth, he felt he should talk to Beth first. And then maybe they could both tell Carl together. Rick wanted Carl to like Beth and not feel betrayed like he did with Lori and Shane. So he brought Carl in for another hug, which Carl playfully avoided, and then took off to find Duane again.

* * *

Much later, as night was falling and the cells were darkening, did Beth and Rick finally get a chance to talk. The groups were pretty spread out, some turning in for the night eager to sleep in a bed, some chatting in the communal area, and a few people outside. Beth was in her and Sasha’s cell separating her clothes from Rick’s, she normally kept all their stuff packed together in one bag, when Rick entered. Beth had spent most of her day sandwiched between her sister and father while trying to keep the longing expression on her face whenever Rick was near. And she wanted more than anything to know what Rick had talked about with Shane and Lori earlier. Rick’s nod at her after the talk did little to reveal what he was thinking. 

“Hey,” Rick’s low voice startled Beth and her heart sped into overdrive at her panic for the upcoming ‘talk’. She wanted it over with at the same time she wanted it never to happen. 

“Hi,” she greeted nonchalantly, doing her best to remain calm. “If you’re looking for clean clothes I’ve got them here.”

“Beth, I told Lori and Shane about you and me,” Rick dove right into the conversation.

Beth stopped her busy work to finally look at Rick. He approached her slowly, his expression was difficult to make out in the low light. “About you and me?” She asked, breathless at Rick’s abrupt news. 

“I know we’ve never really talked about this, about what would happen. But I can’t—I can’t lose you,” Rick, the strongest man she knew, had never looked so vulnerable. 

Beth felt a few tears escape and she threw herself into Rick’s arms, “Oh thank God, Rick, I can’t either.” 

Rick pulled her tightly into him. “Lori is…well, she accepted it.” 

“Wow,” Beth felt so relieved, the huge, crushing weight that had settled upon her from the moment Shane uttered Lori’s name left her chest at Rick’s words. She tugged at Rick’s neck to angle him for a much-needed kiss. She parted her lips and drew Rick’s tongue to twine with hers and he eagerly responded. She wanted to drag Rick next door to his— _their_ —cell and burrow into his arms and never come out.

Rick broke off a moment later breathing deeply to clear his head. “Wait, Beth, your dad. And sister. Plus Carl.” Her father was only a few cells away and Beth clearly had not said anything to her family. Right. Beth sighed and pulled back to flop onto the bottom bunk and their clean clothes. 

“We’ll tell them together,” He assured her. 

“My daddy isn’t going to like this,” Beth sighed. “He didn’t approve of Maggie datin’ a senior when she was a sophomore back Before.” Maggie had been sixteen and the boy eighteen and her father had thrown a fit. She could not imagine how he’d react to this. 

“If you want to stop this, we can,” Rick said voice void of emotion. 

“No!” Beth’s denial came out louder than she meant. She shot back up to look Rick in the eyes, “No. I’m just… nervous. The others never cared about our age difference or your marital status, but I know my daddy won’t be as understanding.” She finished quietly. 

Rick nodded, “why don’t we wait a bit to tell ‘em? Just until we get things settled here. We’re gonna take a group further in tomorrow, see if we can find the infirmary or mess hall.” Beth nodded. She would need to break this to her father slowly. It was best if he had a few days to observe Rick, see what a good man he was, before Beth just dropped a bombshell on him. It would lessen the damage if Rick was not a stranger to her father. Hopefully. 

* * *

Hershel breathed in the fresh morning air as he watched the sun rise over the trees and the prison. The smell of death still lingered, the groups had not come to a decision about whether burning the bodies was a good idea, but the smell didn’t bother him. He was too thankful and happy, he’d thought he’d never feel this way again. He had both his daughters back and they were in the most secure place they had been since his farm fell. 

That had been the worst moment of his life, his farm overrun with the infected, Patricia and Otis torn apart in front of his eyes, and Jimmy and Beth disappearing. Only the sight of Maggie, his brave, stubborn Maggie crying and scared galvanized him into action and he had pulled her to his suburban and took off. He had seen the blue Taurus driving away earlier, hopefully with Jimmy and Beth inside, and had taken off in the same direction but he never found them. They had driven all the nearby roads for miles in each direction and never saw a sign of that blue car. They had then run into Shane and his crew on the highway. The group was camped on the side of the road looking for a little girl that had been spooked by walkers and had run into the woods a few days before. The group had just given up on the search for the missing girl when Hershel and Maggie arrived, they had been packing up after a memorial for the girl and were preparing to move on towards Fort Benning when Hershel found them. 

From the beginning Shane had been hostile, he told them the only way they could join his group was if they were useful. Hershel told them he was a veterinarian and proved his worth by sewing up a man in the crew, T-Dog, who had cut his arm open on a piece of metal from the pile up on the highway. They had antibiotics for the infection but had merely wrapped up the wound so Hershel stitched the man up. It turned out that Shane’s woman, Lori, was pregnant so Hershel’s membership, and Maggie’s by extension, was secured. 

Shane was not just a strict leader, he had a mean streak in him, but with Merle backing Shane’s orders and Daryl backing up Merle, no one dared to challenge them even though the group was fairly large. Most of the people were scared and did not want to be alone and supposedly Shane had saved them when their previous camp outside Atlanta was overrun. Shane’s only vocal opposition was Dale, an elderly man like Hershel that didn’t approve of Shane’s more brutal methods but then one night Dale’s screams woke up the group. A walker had gotten him and was feasting on Dale’s insides and Daryl put him out of his misery. Something about the situation had always struck Hershel as wrong. Dale had been out on watch with a rifle, the rifle had been found next to his body, so how had he been overtaken so easily? Hershel never voiced his suspicions, but he always had a feeling that Shane had something to do with Dale’s death. Without Dale no one opposed Shane’s decisions and Andrea was the only one who ever spoke up with an opinion, but she usually supported Shane’s decisions. 

Maggie adjusted to the group faster than Hershel did, she befriended Lori and Andrea, learned about putting walkers down, how to defend herself, and started a relationship with Glenn. Hershel hadn’t been happy about his daughter’s relationship with the Asian man at first, but it quickly became apparent that Glenn was one of the few good men in the group and Shane considered him vital to the group’s survival for his ability to get in and out of dangerous areas unnoticed and unharmed. 

Being essential in the group was the only way to ensure one’s safety, and if someone was not essential then they had to figure out how to be important to someone who was essential. This became especially apparent after one of the women, Jacqui, was left behind when they stumbled upon a herd one day and no one went back for her. 

Shane had also left behind the lost little girl’s mother after Hershel and Maggie had joined the group. The mother, Carol, had begged the group to stay and help find her daughter, refusing to give up hope. Her only supporter was Daryl, but his brother Merle had sneered at the pointlessness of the task and Daryl had fallen in line. They had left Carol on the roadside with a few cans of food. Hershel was safe given he was the only doctor, Maggie safe because she was his daughter and was with Glenn. Lori and her son were safe since she was Shane’s woman even though her son Carl was clearly unhappy with their relationship. Andrea and T-Dog worked hard to become respected fighters in the group and earn their keep. 

Hershel had not been happy, but his daughter was safe and that was all that mattered to him. Time rolled on, the group scavenged and moved from place to place avoiding herds. Fort Benning had been a bust. Hershel grew concerned for Lori as time marched on, she had Carl by cesarean section so Hershel was afraid he’d have to cut her open again for this baby. He began to train Andrea as his assistant in preparation of the surgery. 

And then one day Daryl stumbled upon the prison while hunting. Shane with the others began to devise a plan to clean out the walkers in the yard. They could then set up camp in the prison yard surrounded by sturdy fencing and guard towers and then having a crying baby once Lori gave birth would not be such a burden. Hershel even suggested they could plant some crops. 

The group became hopeful and the next day Shane, Merle and Daryl set off with Andrea, Glenn and T-Dog to clear the prison yard of the geeks. Hardly any time had passed before Daryl and T-Dog returned with news that another group had cleaned out the prison yard and apparently was led by Lori’s dead husband. Things moved quickly after that, Hershel’s main focus was Lori and keeping her calm after the news of her husband and soon they were at the prison and Carl was reunited with his father. 

Hershel was not paying attention to the new people, only Lori’s condition so he was shocked to his very core when Maggie spotted Beth. His sweet Beth was alive and well, unharmed and happy to see them. But it quickly became clear that she was not ‘daddy’s little girl’ anymore. She had matured and was not dependent on him anymore but at the same time part of her innocence remained. She was all smiles with the young boy of her group, Duane, she was close and laughed with the young woman Sasha, and she was confident and relaxed among the men of her group. Hershel was actually grateful that Beth had ended up with these people, even though she had been without her family, if Beth had been with Shane’s group he didn’t think she would still be so carefree. 

Hershel turned to make his way back into the cellblock, not many others were awake this early, Maggie and Glenn were up in the guard tower and Hershel was fairly sure he did not want to know what they were doing up there, and Daryl was up cleaning his crossbow as Hershel walked through the communal area outside the rows of cells. He peeked into the cell Beth was sharing with Sasha, Sasha was on the bottom bunk asleep and he couldn’t see a figure in the top bunk. Hershel frowned and tried not to worry. Beth had been an early riser back at the farm too, unlike Maggie who preferred to sleep in. 

Hershel continued walking and glanced into the next cell and froze when a flash of blonde hair caught his eye. Beth, his seventeen-year-old daughter, was curled up on the bottom bunk with Rick, a man that was twice her age and married. They were both lying on their sides facing out, Rick with his back against the wall and his arm was curled tightly around Beth’s waist and disappearing under Beth’s loose shirt. Both their faces were relaxed in slumber. 

Hershel slowly backed away his mind whirling. His first reaction was to charge in screaming and yelling but he had to be smart about this. Hershel had admired Rick the other day when he and Shane disagreed and Rick hadn’t backed down. In fact, he got Shane to back down. Hershel had to treat this situation delicately. Had Rick forced Beth into a relationship? But Beth had not seemed submissive or skittish as a woman typically would in that situation. Had Beth given herself to Rick to ensure her own safety in her group? Either way, Beth was with her family now, so this was going to stop. 

* * *


	14. Chapter 14

* * *

**Chapter Fourteen**

* * *

Beth did not want to move. Rick’s warmth was pressed along her spine and he had an arm around her, anchoring her to his chest. She was comfortable and yesterday had been so emotionally draining that she just wanted to stay in Rick’s arms forever. But the sun was starting to stream in through the high windows, brightening up the cell block and soon everyone would be waking up. She did not want to hide her relationship with Rick, absolutely not, she was proud of their relationship. But she wanted to ease her father into it. Rick had plans to scout more of the prison today, and Beth imagined Rick returning with armloads of crucial medical supplies or food to last all of them months and her father being so grateful that he would weep with joy with Beth and Rick held hands and told her daddy about their relationship. Beth sighed, she could dream, right? 

She finally stirred, attempting to wiggle out of Rick’s arms but he instead tightened his arm and tugged her flush against him. “Rick,” Beth whispered exasperated, “It’s morning, I’ve got to go.” 

“Five more minutes,” Rick’s sleep heavy voice rumbled into her hair. 

“Rick, any minute people are gonna wake up—oh!” Rick’s hand, which had been resting on the bare skin of her stomach, trailed up her skin to cup her right breast and then lightly pinched her nipple. She sucked in a low breath trying not to make any noise and Rick’s lips pressed a light kiss behind her ear. 

“Five more minutes,” his low voice, heavy now with something else, murmured in her ear. Beth bit her lip, she was torn between rolling out of bed before they got caught and pressing back into Rick. Rick’s hand snuck south while she was debating and slipped boldly under her sleep pants and panties. Beth whimpered as his fingers stroked against her clit and his other hand, previously trapped between them, eased her pants down from the back. Beth was wet with anticipation and the fear of getting caught sang in her veins. She did not want Rick to stop, she never wanted him to stop. 

Beth turned her face to muffle her heavy breathing in the pillow while she blindly groped for Rick’s hip for leverage. Rick slid his cock slowly against her cheeks. Beth hooked her leg over Rick’s knee to grant him easier access and he rocked against her. His fingers steadily worked her clit and with each rock Rick’s tip brushed against her lips. It was maddening, barely enough stimulation but it felt divine. Rick’s hand moved from her clit and soon he was working his fingers in and out of her, his thumb against her clit and rutting his cock between her thighs. It did not take long for Beth, soon she was spasming around Rick’s fingers, cries muffled in the pillow. Rick held her tight against him for several more thrusts and spilled over her sensitive skin and his own fingers. Rick rolled her to her back and they exchanged languid kisses while Rick cleaned them up the best he could with his shirt. 

Beth successfully snuck back into her cell with Sasha. The older girl was still sleeping soundly, clearly unaware of what had transpired in the next cell. Beth changed her clothes and ran a brush through her hair as quickly as possible before heading out to begin the day.

* * *

Beth was doing her best to keep herself distracted. Rick, Michonne and Sasha were deep in the prison with Shane, Merle, Daryl and T-Dog clearing and exploring the prison. She tried not to think of Rick in the dark hallways with walkers sneaking up behind him, or these new people abandoning Rick and the others in the dark halls at the first sign of trouble. She shook herself from her paranoid thoughts and continued on her way to Duane and Carl. “Here is all the entertainment we have,” Beth announced as she put down the ball, deck of cards, and a couple of books. 

Duane gave her a classic preteen look of annoyance, “Beth, books aren’t entertainment. They’re learning.” 

Beth lightly punched Duane in the arm, “well, I’m sorry we didn’t take any board games while we were scavenging.” She responded cheekily. Of course Carl and Duane had already scoured Duane’s meager comic collection. Beth thought there may be more out in the jeep but their vehicles were still parked out behind the prison. The potential for medical or food supplies took priority over extra comics, unfortunately. 

“My dad and I used to play catch with a football,” Carl said as he picked up the football and studied it with yearning. Beth had been formally introduced to Carl during breakfast. Her father had been in a serious looking discussion with her sister and Beth had hesitated to interrupt. Instead she went outside to join Rick, Morgan, Duane, and Carl eating canned fruit cocktail. Rick had cleared his throat and stood as Beth approached, “Carl, I want you to meet someone special, this is Beth. She is—“ 

“Your girlfriend,” Carl interrupted sullenly. The group descended into an awkward silence that had Duane shifting guiltily. 

“Uh, yes,” Rick finished lamely. 

“Hi Carl,” Beth stuck her hand out for a shake because she had no idea what to do. At the rate the news was spreading, she would have to tell her family sooner rather than later about her and Rick, she didn’t want them to find out through rumors. Carl shook her hand reluctantly. 

“Duane says you’re cool,” Carl told the table, not looking at Beth or Rick. Duane nodded enthusiastically. 

“Well, not as cool as Michonne, but I’m glad I pass muster,” Beth had said lightly. Mentioning Michonne prompted Duane into a story about Michonne and her former pets that had Carl riveted, his tight frame relaxing a bit. Rick looked relieved that Carl’s mood was softening and Beth settled at the table and stole Rick’s can of fruit. 

So Beth had spent her morning keeping Carl and Duane entertained to prove her coolness and smooth things over with Carl. Beth had tons of experience babysitting and running summer day camps with her old church, so she knew the best way to win over a kid Carl’s age was give them attention. She wanted to show Carl that he would not be ignored in the face of her relationship with his dad. It seemed to be working thus far. 

“Can we get a game together?” Duane asked eagerly, interrupting Beth’s thoughts, and then he turned to Carl, “Tyreese used to play for the Falcons when he was younger. Beth arranged a game on an actual field a few months ago. It was my dad, Rick and me against Tyreese, Sasha and Beth. It was a lot of fun!”

Beth watched Carl’s face fill with longing. She wondered when the last time he had any fun was, Shane didn’t really seem the type to go out of his way to keep a kid entertained. “We’ll try to arrange it for tonight after the others get back and have had a chance to rest. I’ll talk to Tyreese about it.” Beth offered.

Carl’s face lit up, “you think they’ll allow it?” 

“Of course!” Beth nodded. She could imagine Rick being thrilled to have fun and play a game with his son. Beth took a moment to daydream bout Rick’s grin.

Beth caught Lori staring at her from the next table over. She and Andrea were sorting the supplies of their group. Beth shifted nervously wondering if she would say something about her and Rick or tell her she did not want Beth around her son. Rick had not elaborated about how Lori felt about Beth, and Beth had been to relieved that she and Rick were staying together to ask. She did not want the kids to pick up on her apprehension, so she looked for an excuse to leave, “Tyreese is outside, I’ll go see what he thinks.” Beth left the two boys discussing football, thankful to get away from Lori’s intense stare. 

On her way outside she ran into her dad and Maggie. Glenn was lurking behind them looking uncomfortable. “Hey, what’s up?” Beth asked curiously. 

“Beth, can we talk to you for a moment?” Her father asked.

“Of course!” Beth felt a tad guilty that she had not been spending all her time with her family, yesterday she had felt smothered by them even though she was so thankful they were alive and well. It was just that she had been without them for so long and was used to only being with only her group that it was tough to adjust to their new situation. 

They walked further outside, Tyreese was visible from the guard tower leaning against the railing and Morgan was walking the fence line of the outer yard. Beth walked with her family to one of the benches and Maggie sat down pulling Beth next to her. She sat at an angle to face Beth. Glenn hovered behind Maggie’s shoulder and Hershel stood in front of Beth and it made Beth feel like she was about to be interrogated. “What’s going on? Am in trouble for something?” She asked nervously. 

“No, sweetie, no. You aren’t in trouble.” Maggie clutched one of Beth’s hands and had a sad smile on her face. “We just want to talk is all.” 

“Okay…” Beth replied slowly. Maggie’s behavior was doing the opposite of calming her down. 

“I saw you this morning, with Rick, sleeping.” Hershel’s voice and expression were calm. 

Beth blushed bright red. Here she was the one that did not want her family to know about their relationship yet and she was the one that revealed it to her family because she couldn’t spend one night without Rick. It must have been before they were awake, and thank god for that. What if her father had seen Rick getting her off while he rutted against her? They needed to invest in some curtains or something, first thing. “This is so not how I wanted you guys to find out,” Beth said through her blush. 

“It’s okay, we’re here for you now, so you don’t have to do this any longer,” Maggie said in a soothing voice. 

But it only confused Beth, why weren’t they angry? And what did she mean? “Um… do what? We were going to tell you guys but I wanted to wait until things were more settled. Let you guys get to know Rick,” Beth said slowly. 

“You don’t have to be with Rick anymore now that we’re here. Daddy and I, and even Glenn, We’ll all protect you,” Maggie practically cooed at her. 

Beth just stared at her sister for a moment not really processing what her sister was trying to say. Now she was really confused. “What?” 

“We understand you had to do it, we don’t blame you.” Maggie’s words did not clear Beth’s confusion. 

“I really don’t understand what you all are trying to say,” Beth said as she glanced at everyone around her. “And why would I stop being with Rick now that you’re here?” 

“You’re with Rick for the protection, right? He keeps you safe in exchange for…” Maggie trailed off awkwardly after voicing her thoughts.

Beth stared at her again with her mouth open in shock. “What? No! Rick isn’t like that! He keeps me safe, sure, but it’s not in exchange for sex!” Beth stood in indignation and ripped free from his sister’s tight grip. 

“Then why were you with him?” Hershel asked. 

“The same reason anyone gets together because I like him! And he likes me!” She responded angrily. The fact that they thought Rick would use her like that, or that Beth would whore herself out for safety, infuriated her. Beth was perfectly capable of taking care of herself. And where would they get such a horrible idea?

“But… he’s twice your age.” Maggie pointed out. She came to stand as well and poor Glenn standing behind her looked even more uncomfortable at the conversation. “And he’s married.” 

“Yeah, I know. It took him months to overlook those facts,” Beth grumbled without thinking.

“What do you mean?” Maggie’s tone was finally turning angry. 

“I mean, I pursued Rick. Because I like him. I like how he took in two clueless kids like me and Jimmy because it was the right thing to do. I like how he smiles and laughs with Duane. I like his curly hair and his blue eyes. I like how polite and kind he is to me, and how patient he was teaching me and Duane to protect ourselves. I like the sound of his voice when he would get angry or tense in a bad situation. And I like how when faced with a horde of walkers, when Jimmy pushed me out of the way in his hurry to flee, Rick saved me no hesitation because it was the right thing to do, not because he wanted something from me.” Beth ranted, “And it took me months to get him to think of me that way,” She finished with a glare and her arms crossed over her chest. 

“You went after him?” Maggie asked incredulously. 

“Well, not really, it wasn’t until Sasha, Tyreese and Morgan reassured him that it was okay before he gave in.” 

“Beth, he’s married. They have a son.” Hershel’s tone was angry now too. 

“Yes, because Lori has been so faithful to Rick. Besides, she knows,” Beth held her ground as her father’s face reddened in anger. 

“Lori knows about you and Rick?” Maggie asked clearly in disbelief. 

“Of course. We’re happy together. Our relationship is strong,” Beth said resolutely. 

“Relationship? What do you know about relationships? You’re still a kid!” Maggie’s face was as red as their fathers, and they both had strong glares fixed on Beth. 

A year ago, Beth would have cowed early in this argument to keep her father and sister happy. But this was Beth’s life. They had no idea what she’d been through this past year. “A kid? Do you think I’ve been skipping through the trees dreaming about prom and baking cookies? At least I didn’t start sleeping with Rick because I was bored,” Beth threw in Maggie’s face. Maggie had confessed to Beth while they were alone and talking about Maggie’s relationship with Glenn about how it all started because Maggie was bored and Glenn had condoms. 

“Is everything okay here?” Tyreese’s voice interrupted. He had left the guard tower and approached them unnoticed. 

Before anyone could reply the door to the cellblock slammed open and Andrea was calling for them. The others were back, and they found other survivors. 

* * *

Rick and the others found the kitchen and dining mess before they found the infirmary. And with the kitchen they found survivors. Five men, still wearing their prison issued jumpsuits, stood before Rick in various states. A few of them looked glad to see other living people. A few of them, one in particular, looked like a fox in a chicken coop. And none of them had any real idea about what had happened to the world. They were worse than when Rick first woke up from his coma, and none of them wanted to believe Rick and the rest as they tried to explain what had happened. So a demonstration was necessary. 

“We should take ‘em out,” Shane said in a low voice at Rick’s side. 

“Take ‘em out as in, let ‘em out of the prison or kill ‘em?” Rick asked in an equally low voice. He and Shane were several steps behind the prisoners while Merle demonstrated crudely how only a blow to the head could take out a walker. They had ended up in the prison’s large laundry room, Rick and the others had been assessing the prisoners for close to a half hour now. No one had mentioned the rest of their group and they had steered the prisoners away from their claimed cellblock.

“What do you think?” Shane rolled his eyes. “They’re prisoners. They’re all in here for a reason.” 

“So we should just kill ‘em?” Rick snorted. 

“Do you want these people around your girl Beth? What if one of ‘em is a rapist? I know I sure as fuck don’ want any of them around Lori or my baby,” Shane reasoned.

Shane did have a point. It was unlikely the prisoners, if asked, would tell the truth about their incarceration. He bet all of them would claim grand theft or drug possession and who was Rick to know if that was true or not? “So we let ‘em free. Should be a dream come true,” Rick commented dryly. 

Rick left Shane fuming and stepped forward beside T-Dog. “Looks like all y’all’s lucky day, early parole. Merle here was nice enough to show you how to protect yourself and we’ll let you take all the supplies you can carry.” 

“You’re just gonna turn us out? With these things?” The tallest one, Oscar, asked in disbelief and gestured to the dead walker. 

“This here is our prison. We were here first,” the fox one, Tomas, glared. 

“If it weren’t for us, you’d still be cowering in the kitchen,” Sasha pointed out. Tomas sneered at her but Sasha only raised an unimpressed eyebrow.

Before anyone could respond, the doors at the other end of the laundry room were pushed open by a mass of walkers. It was pure chaos, the prisoners seemed to forget everything they had just been shown and attached the walkers as if it was a fight in the prison yard. Rick exchanged a look of disbelief with T-Dog before they waded in and started putting walkers down, Merle and the others quick on their heels. 

Rick’s knife was in the skull of a walker when Tomas pushed a snarling walker into Rick. Rick’s reflexes barely caught the walker and he struggled for a moment to unsheathe a second knife to dispatch the new walker. Tomas was waiting for him with a shiv and lunged as soon as the walker was on the ground. Rick fell backwards to dodge the attack. Before Rick could retaliate, an arrow sprouted from Tomas’s eye socket. 

Tomas’s collapse caused the shortest prisoner, Andrew, to start yelling and he lunged at the closest person which happened to be Sasha. Oscar managed to trip Andrew, but Andrew caught himself on a metal wash bin and turned to throw the bin at Oscar. Andrew stilled when Michonne’s blade slid through his back and out his chest and Andrew had a moment to blink in surprise before slipping off the blade and falling to the floor dead. 

Daryl was at Rick’s side and offered him his arm, which Rick accepted, and Daryl merely nodded at Rick before retrieving his arrow from Tomas’s body. Rick took a moment to survey the three remaining prisoners. The big one, introduced as Big Tiny, was on his knees with his hands behind his head, as if Rick’s group were just guards breaking up a riot. The twitchy, skinny one, Axel, hovered behind Big Tiny, eyes full of fear. Oscar was still on the ground, winded from the metal wash bin still. 

“Ya see? We’re takin’ ‘em out right now!” Shane roared. 

Merle made a move towards Big Tiny and Axel but Rick managed to grab his arm and stop him. “Whoa, everyone just calm down for one god damn second!” Rick ordered. 

The three remaining prisoners had not made a move against them, and Oscar had tried to help. Rick’ wasn’t going to reward them by killing them. 

“What the hell, Rick?” Shane asked incredulous. “They just attacked us! They almost got you!” 

“No, these two attacked us,” Rick gestured to the two still bodies. Rick then turned to Oscar, who was now on his knees and eyeing them warily. “Thanks,” Rick nodded at him. “If you want to leave, leave. If you want to stay, we’ll help you clear out a different cellblock." 

"A different cell block? Shouldn't we... I don't know, safety in numbers and all that?" Axel asked nervously. He was still standing behind Big Tiny warily. 

Rick could feel the daggers Shane was glaring at him as he responded, “We ain’t alone, this isn’t all of us.” 

“If they’re staying, then we should introduce them to the others. Make sure everyone knows who they are,” Sasha suggested. Rick looked over at Michonne who gave a single nod in agreement. 

“We’re staying, right?” Oscar asked his fellow inmates. Axel nodded quickly and Big Tiny surveyed the dead walkers alongside his two former inmates before agreeing as well. 

“Well then, let’s move out.” 

* * *


	15. Chapter 15

* * *

**Chapter Fifteen**

* * *

Introducing a group of inmates to the others went better than Rick would have guessed. There was no angry outcry of ‘get rid of them!’ which he half expected from the other members of Shane’s group, given Shane’s glowering in the corner but instead there was just wariness. Even Merle seemed amused and was taking pleasure from Shane’s foul mood. Beth looked upset, and Rick vowed to himself to reassure her the second he had a chance. Instead he spent the next several hours helping clear out Cellblock B. At first Rick had wanted to put them in D, it was the furthest away, but Morgan pointed out that keeping them closer was better so they could easier keep an eye on them. Plus, they still had their guard schedule and agreed that the prisoners would not get shifts until they had proven themselves. 

So Rick spent his afternoon dragging bodies out of the newest cellblock and watching Tyreese play catch with Duane and Carl. Rick wanted badly to join them, to hear his son laugh and cheer as he caught a pass. But Rick had a responsibility to keep this place safe, and he would do everything in his power to keep it that way. Rick, Daryl and T-Dog left the three prisoners to their block, silent and desolate. Rick was glad their group was large enough that their cellblock did not have the same suffocating feeling. 

“Thanks for earlier today,” Rick said to Daryl as the three of them headed back to block C. Normally Rick would have patted him on the shoulder or arm but given how tight Daryl held himself Rick was fairly sure it would not be appreciated. 

Daryl looked at Rick with a confused frown. “With Tomas?” Rick reminded, Daryl’s arrow might have saved Rick’s life. 

“Don’ mention it,” Daryl mumbled before picking up his pace and leaving Rick and T-Dog behind. 

“He’s cuddly,” Rick joked to T-Dog. 

T-Dog snorted, “The cuddliest. He’s not like Merle, Merle is loud and obnoxious and wants attention but Daryl rather just slink around in the background.” T-Dog shrugged. 

Rick nodded and they continued in silence. He waved to Michonne perched in the watchtower and she raised a hand in response. The sun was starting to set, burning its last strength before it would disappear and Rick did not want to think about how hot it was going to be in another month or so. 

“Rick,” a voice hailed from the shade offered by the prison walls. Hershel Greene. Rick managed not to sigh, all he wanted to do was wash up and then fall into a bunk, preferably one with Beth in it. 

“Hey, thanks for all your help today,” Rick said to T-Dog as he clapped him on the shoulder. T-Dog nodded and grinned before heading back for the prison while Rick headed to Hershel. “Hershel,” Rick greeted. This was his first conversation with the man, so Rick had no idea what to expect. Was it about his relationship with Beth? Or something else? Rick had a feeling that he was not going to like this conversation no matter the topic given Hershel’s stern frown. 

“I saw you with my daughter this morning,” Hershel began. Rick put every ounce he had into keeping a blank poker face. He had a feeling that if Hershel had really seen him and his daughter this morning, Beth panting and hiding her cries in a pillow while Rick had his fingers inside her, he would have been greeted with a punch in the face. 

“I appreciate that you took care of my daughter this past year, kept her safe. But she has her family now, and you have yours. I know she thinks she’s in love with you, but this needs to stop. You need stop taking advantage of my Beth. You have your wife and son now.” 

Rick let out a breath to keep his calm and hide the fury that went through him at the accusation of taking advantage of Beth. He needed to keep his calm for this conversation. “I understand that you had two wives-“ Rick could tell Hershel wanted to protest by Rick held up his hand, “Let me finish. Maggie’s mother died, you mourned, you met Beth’s mother and married her. What would you do if Maggie’s mother walked back through your door?” 

“How dare you. My situation was completely different.” 

“Was it? Lori thought I was dead. I thought Lori lost to me. I mourned and I moved on. I appreciate your concern for Beth, but I would never take advantage of her. I’m not getting back with Lori. She and I have both moved on. And I am not leaving Beth. I’m sorry if you don’t approve but that’s how it is.” Rick held his gaze steady against Hershel’s. Rick could tell Hershel wanted to argue but did not know what to say, or maybe how to say it. So Rick nodded and stalked off.

Rick walked back into the prison and as soon as he entered the common area outside the rows of cells he felt every eye in the room stare at him. Beth’s sister Maggie was doing her best to set Rick on fire with a look alone, and the looks ranged from Maggie’s fire and brimstone to the oldest Dixon’s amusement. So they all knew, Rick guessed. Beth was missing from the room, so Rick just nodded at the room and continued towards the cells. 

Beth was in Rick’s cell. she had her back to the bars, sitting on the bottom bunk and furiously scribbling away in her journal. Rick paused as he entered, he had a feeling that he missed something big today while in the bowels of the prison. Beth had been upset earlier, he had assumed that it was because of the prisoners he had brought into the mix but now, after Hershel’s chat and the skunk eye he had just received from the peanut gallery, he suspected it was their relationship giving her a hard time. or rather, others were giving her a hard time about their relationship. Rick just wanted Beth to be happy and to have a reason to smile. If he was no longer making her happy then he would let her go, as much as he loathed the idea. But Beth deserved the best, and he understood that he was far from the best. 

“Rough day?” Rick asked gently when he finally moved further into the cell. Beth startled at his voice but her face lit up when she realized it was him. Rick felt a weight that had just settled on his shoulders lift. he could continue to be selfish.

“Nothing I can’t handle, “Beth replied as she tugged him to sit beside her and they both adjusted until their backs were against the cement wall. 

“You’re tougher than me,” Rick grinned as he settled his arm around her. 

“You do not smell good,” Beth wrinkled her cute, little nose and Rick couldn’t resist placing a light kiss on the tip. 

“Sorry, I’ll go wash up,” Rick said as he pulled back.

“No!” Don't leave. Not yet,” Beth clutched at his arm and Rick relaxed back against the wall again. 

“I’m guessing your day was an eventful as mine?” Rick had never been good at starting conversations, he had no idea how to get eth to open up to him. Luckily, Beth only needed the barest of prompting. “I’d rather have been out there with hose three prisoners than in here with them,” Beth gestured in the direction of the communal area.

“There were five prisoners. two of them.... didn’t want to make nice,” Rick told her with a grimace. He did not enjoy killing, but he wasn’t distressed about their deaths. He would not let anything affect the safety of his people, of Beth. 

“Are you okay?” Beth asked with wide eyes, she started looking him over and running a hand along his chest. 

"I'm fine. What happened with you today?"

Beth sighed before starting, "Maggie and my dad thought that we were… that you were protectin' me in exchange for sex. And of course I got angry and told them that you and I are in a real relationship and they didn't react well. It's like they can't accept that I'm not the same girl anymore. I can tell they've both changed, why can't they see I have too?" Beth ended in frustration.

"Hey, we'll show 'em and prove 'em wrong, right?" 

Beth gave Rick a look of complete adoration that squeezed Rick's chest. His noble thoughts of earlier came back to him and he shook his head ruefully. He was not noble, he thought as he leaned down to kiss Beth. He did not think he'd ever be able to let her go.

* * *

Being alone with Lori was unnerving. Beth tried to take slow, deep breathes to keep herself calm. How had this happened? She had been with Big Tiny, he was claiming he had a great recipe to show Beth, as he helped with laundry, along with Andrea and Lori. T-Dog had called Andrea away, and the blonde had looked relieved, she apparently was not a fan of domestic work. Big Tiny had just stepped away, heading back to the prison to find more string or wire to use as a laundry line. Beth liked Big Tiny, who had been waxing about his mother and her recipes and how there was no better cook in Georgia than his mama. The atmosphere had been so easy so Beth hadn’t thought twice about Big Tiny trundling off until she realized it was just her and Lori. 

Lori did not say anything to Beth, or even acknowledge Beth, she just kept up with folding clothes as if Beth wasn’t even a few feet from her. Beth finally blurted out, “Rick didn’t take advantage of me.” It was a popular theory among Shane’s group, one that Beth was eager to quash. 

Lori snorted and didn’t look up at Beth while she replied, “I know. Rick a seducer?” She gave the clothes in front of her a wry look. “Rick is so oblivious with women. After weeks of flirting I had to ask him out.” 

“It took me months,” Beth smiled. “He, um, we spent a lot of time lookin’ for you and Carl. We met some bad people out there,” Beth’s fingers ran through her hair, seeking out the spot where her head had bled from even though the bump was long gone. “And it was eatin’ at him, all the things that could have happened. Especially when we found this girl—walker--about Carl’s age. I just… I did my best to take care of him.” 

“I bet you did,” Lori muttered. She immediately looked guilty, “Sorry. I’m grateful. I’m glad Rick was with good people.” 

Lori then grimaced, Beth wondered if it was killing her to be civil, until Lori’s hands flew to her stomach. “Are you all right?”

“It’s fine, I’ve had some pain all day and—oh!” Lori grimaced again and groaned through gritted teeth. Beth’s mind blanked for a moment in panic before she rushed to Lori’s side and then steered her to the nearby bench. 

Rick, Glenn, Andrea and T-Dog were far out in the yards loading walker corpses into the back of one of the trucks to burn away from the prison. Shane was in the guard tower but facing the opposite direction. Michonne was in the shade against the building cleaning her blade. “Michonne!” Beth called frantically, “I think Lori’s in labor!” 

Michonne was on her feet and quickly crossed the courtyard to them. Lori was breathing as if in pain. “Go get Hershel,” Michonne ordered and Beth took off back into the prison. 

Time passed in a blur, Hershel hurrying into the courtyard, a group moving Lori back into the prison, Andrea looking pale but determined as she assisted Hershel, Sasha stepping in to offer what first aide she knew. They were planning on doing a c-section on Lori and Beth felt dizzy. Beth grabbed Duane, Carl was plastered to his mother's side and his previous anger at his mother seemed forgotten. She dragged Duane out into the yard for fresh air, Duane had a queasy look on his face so Beth ruled out any vigorous activities. Rick was in the guard tower, he had taken up the watch after Shane had panicked over Lori, so Beth and Duane headed up to sit with him. Soon Morgan and Oscar joined them. The guard tower became a haven of sorts for those that wanted to avoid the bedlam inside the prison. They mostly stayed silent, no one knowing what to say, and Beth leaned against Rick with one of his arms anchoring her to his side while he kept a stern eye on the horizon.

The sun was starting to dip in the sky when Carl burst through the door, the banging sound of the heavy door against the wall drawing their attention right before Carl hollered, "I have a baby sister!" Morgan offered to stay in the tower on watch and the rest of them headed back to the prison. Carl seemed exuberant, so that spoke well of Lori's condition.

Maggie was holding the tiny infant in the common area, with Merle, of all people, hovered off her shoulder making faces at the bundle in Maggie's arms. Sasha looked ready to pass out sitting at one of the tables as Beth approached her. "Is Lori…?" Beth could not even finish her question.

Sasha nodded, "She's okay. For now. She's in rough shape though. Hershel and Andrea are still with her. Shane too." Beth let out a breath she hadn't realized she was holding. Carl and Duane were crowding Maggie, and Carl was half cooing at his sister, half filling Rick in on details.

Duane interrupted with a, "aren't babies supposed to be cute?" which earned him a light smack on the back of his head from Michonne. The atmosphere was light and festive, Big Tiny was putting out a meal to celebrate, and Beth felt herself relaxing and smiling as she watched everyone celebrate the birth of a baby. She felt that things were turning around, civilization could exist again. Her hope for the future had never been stronger.

* * *

Sasha slept for ten hours straight when she finally crashed on her bunk. It was the heaviest she had slept since life had still been normal in Jacksonville. Thankfully, her dreams had not been filled with memories of Lori's screams as she was cut open under Hershel's precise eye.

Sasha did not have an appetite for food, but she still forced herself to eat whatever Tyreese handed to her when she dropped herself next to him at one of the tables in the communal area.

"How you feelin'?" Rick asked as he sat across from her and Tyreese. He had his serious game face on, which helped Sasha feel more awake.

"I'm great," she replied. And really, _she_ hadn't just had a baby cut out of her, so she had to be doing great.

Rick nodded, "They're organizin' a run, Hershel wants some baby formula to help supplement Lori." Rick looked awkward and Sasha had to wonder how surreal this was for him. Hershel had mentioned yesterday that he was worried about Lori producing enough milk with how skinny she was and that trauma her body had just gone through. "Glenn and Maggie are going so far. Do you think you're up to joining them?" Sasha could tell that Rick wanted to go, but with so many unknown people now it was better for him to stay.

"I'll go," Sasha nodded. She really could use a change of scenery anyway. The voices echoing off the concrete walls reminded her of Lori's pained screams.

Sasha may have felt cooped up in the prison but the moment the gates shut behind the Suburban Sasha felt like she should have stayed at the prison. Maggie turned in her seat to glower at Sasha, “So, you just let Rick get with my baby sister?” 

“Let?” Sasha shook her head and rolled her eyes at Maggie’s disgruntled expression. “Look, I get it, sometimes Tyreese looks at me and still sees the eight-year-old that played tee-ball and captured grasshoppers. But Beth has grown up. I’m sorry you weren’t around to see it.” 

Maggie’s disgruntled expression did not let up and Sasha knew it was a trait that ran in the family. Beth was usually sweet as pie but could be stubborn as a mule when the occasion arose. “Maybe instead of bein’ pissed you should be grateful that your sister found someone that would do anything for her. Including going back to your farm and to bury _your_ family.” 

“What?” Maggie asked in shock. 

Sasha hadn’t been around yet for Beth’s macabre birthday present, but Beth told her how cathartic it had been to bury her mother and brother when she thought all her family lost to her. “I don’t know all the details since Tyreese and I weren’t part of the group yet, but I know that you guys were keeping your dead family in the barn. Beth wanted a funeral for ‘em and so Rick gave her a funeral.” 

Maggie looked shocked, the silence stretched on long enough for Glenn to glance at her worryingly. Sasha took it that Maggie stunned to silence was a rare occurrence. 

They stayed in silence until Glenn pulled the suburban up in front of a small strip mall. They did a quick sweep of the area, and Sasha was impressed with their thoroughness. Once the coast was clear and the two lingering walkers had been taken care of, the atmosphere eased with Glenn's jokes and his light flirting with Maggie.

The trip went smoothly, up until the end when they were loading up their find and a voice rang out: “Oh my goodness gracious! Hello there!” 

Sasha was still in the store but she heard the sweet voice and saw Glenn and Maggie pause in loading supplies into the back of the Suburban. The voice sounded harmless and she could see Glenn and Maggie relax but Sasha drew her gun anyway. 

“Wait, Carol?” Glenn voice was full of surprise. 

“Glenn?” The voice responded. 

Sasha stepped out of the store gun drawn. “Stop right there and put your hands in the air.” 

“Sasha, stop! I know this woman,” Glenn tried to appease Sasha but Sasha recognized this woman too. This was now the third time she had been seen. 

“People change,” Sasha said, aim steady. The grey-haired woman held up her hands with a smile. She was doing a good job to present an innocent front, but Sasha had watched this woman bark orders at men twice her size and they were followed without hesitation. Suzy homemaker would not be able to command those men without respect. 

“Carol, it’s so good to see you! We were so worried about you.” Sasha could see the woman’s eyes narrow for a second at Glenn’s words before the smile was back full force.

Glenn moved to approach the woman that he somehow knew but Sasha barked, “Glenn, stop. How do you know this woman?” 

“It’s okay Glenn, your friend is just being smart,” the woman—Carol—smiled at Sasha. 

“You can’t be too careful these days. People you think are your friends will turn their back on you without warning,” A new voice joined from behind Sasha and a gun cocked. 

Sasha slowly lowered her gun and turned to face the newcomer. She knew this man too, he was not happy to see her but she greeted him anyway, “Hey Allen.” 

* * *


	16. Chapter 16

* * *

**Chapter Sixteen**

* * *

“Let’s talk. Woman to woman.” 

Sasha kept eye contact with Carol as she sat in the chair across the table from the older woman. Carol had the nice, Girl Scout leader smile on her face again. Sasha stayed quiet and Maggie shifted nervously as she eyed the two of them. Sasha knew Maggie had to be itching to demand where Glenn was. With any luck he was only in the next room over. Sasha had been knocked unconscious by Allen at the strip mall, so she had no idea where they were or even how far they had travelled. Sasha had woken up not too long ago on the floor to only Maggie hovering over her. Maggie had reported she had been blindfolded but they had driven for a little under an hour. Glenn had been dragged off after they dumped Sasha and Maggie in their current room. 

The small, sparse room appeared to be in a basement judging from the only high, narrow window in the room. Carol and Allen had returned with two other unknown men just a few minutes ago. Carol had sat and gestured for the girls to join her while the men stayed along the wall on either side of the door.

“You’re loyal. I like that. But who are you protecting? Shane? He’s an egotistical bastard. He’s not worth protecting,” Carol’s tone was still friendly but her eyes gave her away. Her eyes were hard and Sasha could see how angry she truly was. Sasha did not know what Shane had done to this woman and wondered if Rick knew what his friend had become. She stayed silent. She did not give a rat’s ass about Shane, but that wasn’t who Sasha was protecting. 

Carol studied her a few more minutes before speaking again. “Or are you protecting this Rick Grimes fellow? He sounds just as pleasant as Shane, leaving Allen and his wife and son stranded with no supplies.” 

Sasha snorted at that, she couldn’t help it. She always knew Allen was a drama queen. She did feel bad about Donna though, she had always been perfectly pleasant. “Yeah, we really screwed him over. Tell me, has Ben assaulted any girls here yet?” Sasha could not resist. 

Carol did not even bat an eyelash at Sasha’s question. But it had the intended reaction, just not from Carol. Allen slammed his fist into the table, brushing off the man behind him that tried to keep him from coming at Sasha. “You lying bitch! You take that back! Rick had Beth seduce my son and then cried foul so that Rick could get rid of us!” 

Wow, Sasha did not even have words to respond to Allen’s delusion. Instead she just rolled her eyes and did her best to convey, ‘ _really_?’ at Carol. “Don’t forget Allen, I was there beside you when we first saw Rick. How you wanted to follow them and then steal their supplies. And then Tyreese went running after them so you couldn’t act out your deranged plan.” Tyreese had been convinced that Allen was just too stressed, he thought Allen was a good man. Sasha was glad Tyreese was not here to see Allen like this. 

“We should have! Then Donna would still be alive! It’s your fault she’s dead!” 

Sasha did feel a pang at hearing Donna did not make it. She did her best to push away any guilt. They had not left Allen and his family defenseless. They had given them a car and supplies. They had been given a fighting chance. “Donna didn’t deserve to die. She deserved better than you.” 

Sasha barely had time to brace herself as Allen shrugged off the other man and came at Sasha, throwing a right hook. Sasha rolled with the blow onto the floor as the chair fell backwards. “You teach your son that punch? To use on Beth?” Sasha goaded and Allen kicked her solidly in the ribs. Sasha was sure her ribs were bruised or cracked, but she ignored the pain for now. Sasha launched herself at Allen, her hands were still tied in front of her and she grappled at Allen only to get kicked down again. She groaned and curled inward, concealing the prize she had managed to slip off Allen’s belt. 

Finally, Carol and the unknown man pulled Allen off her. Sasha could feel her left eye starting to swell from the punch, but she smiled as Allen was dragged from the room, Carol demanding that Allen stay out of her sight. Sasha had wanted to show these people who Allen really was and it looked like it had worked, judging from Carol’s furious expression. Sasha could not help but smile as Carol marched out of the room barking orders not to let Ben or Allen or anyone anywhere near the girls, or even Glenn, not until she returned with 'The Governor'. That moniker did not sound ominous, Sasha snorted as the door slammed shut. 

Maggie rushed to Sasha’s side the second the door slammed shut behind Carol. Maggie up righted the chair and helped Sasha settle into it. “I can’t believe—are you all right?” Maggie asked as she delicately probed at Sasha’s swelling eye. 

“I’m good. Maybe a cracked rib or two,” Sasha shrugged off Maggie. “But you have to go.” 

“What?” Maggie asked incredulously. 

Sasha showed Maggie the knife that she had managed to get off Allen when he attacked her and Maggie gaped. “You have to get out of here and get back to the prison.” 

“No. Not without you. Not without Glenn.” 

“I’ll be fine, and I’ll protect Glenn.” Maggie shook her head resolutely. “Maggie, listen, I don’t know how much time I bought us. You have to go. With my ribs I don’t think I could make it back.” 

“Sasha—“ 

“The others don’t know where we are. You must get Rick. We’ve seen these people before, they are very well armed and organized. You go get Rick. Okay?” Sasha was on her feet again, she was a bit lightheaded but made her way determinedly to the window. She had to stand on her tip toes which caused unpleasant pressure on her ribs, but she managed to pry the lock open with the knife. 

“Maggie, please.” Sasha begged and Maggie finally nodded her consent. Sasha helped boost Maggie up to help her crawl out the high, narrow window and then handed Maggie the knife. 

“I’m coming back for you,” Maggie whispered fiercely. 

“I know,” Sasha cracked a grin. Maggie nodded one last time before scrambling up the window well. Sasha sank to the ground breathing slowly through the pain. She hoped she and Glenn lived long enough for their return. 

* * *

Beth paced the narrow walkway on the guard tower restlessly. Just yesterday she had been glad to see her sister leave the prison, even if only for a few hours, so that Beth did not have to deal with Maggie’s irritating glares. It had been petty and juvenile and Beth wished she could take back how she felt as she watched them drive off. She should have given her sister a hug, told Maggie that even though she was mad at her, to come back safe. And now her sister, plus Glenn and Sasha had been gone for over twenty-four hours. They shouldn’t have been gone more than a few hours, Glenn had not planned to go far. 

Beth was so distracted she did not even realize Rick had joined her in the tower until his hand stopped her pacing, startling her. “Hey, it’s gonna be okay. I’m sure it was just car trouble or something,” Rick tried to reassure her with a small smile. 

Rick had gone out at first light this morning with Andrea to check on the missing group. They had gone to the strip mall Glenn had planned on going and it had been cleared out, but no sign of them or the vehicle they had taken. 

“I may not be on speaking terms with my sister right now, but I'd like her back here, safe, so that I can continue not speaking to her,” Beth complained and Rick pulled her into a hug. She let herself relax into his embrace, and they stayed that way for several long moments. Sasha was tough as nails, if something had gone wrong out there, if they had stumbled upon a herd of walkers, Sasha would have kept her cool and kept Glenn and Maggie alive and safe. Maybe they were just holed up somewhere waiting for a herd to pass. Maybe it was just car trouble. 

Beth felt Rick tense around her right before she heard a shout. Rick let go of Beth and quickly headed for the stairs. Beth turned to see what had caught his attention before running after him. The Dixons were returning from their hunt and they were not alone. Maggie. 

Rick made it to the gate in time to help T-Dog pull it open and Beth ran through the still sliding gate to Maggie. Maggie looked worn out and scared and pulled her sister into her arms. There were a few walkers near the gate but Merle was merrily dispatching them. Beth helped her sister walk through the gate, Maggie leaned on Beth heavily, she looked exhausted. Beth wondered how long she had been out in the woods, had she spent the night alone? And where were Sasha and Glenn? Beth’s relief at reuniting with her sister was quickly replaced with fear again. 

Beth could see others approaching from the prison, her father among them. Michonne was the closest and joined them right as Rick started questioning Maggie. “Maggie, are you okay? Where are Glenn and Sasha?” Rick asked, his tone calm and not hinting at the turmoil he must have felt over Sasha still missing. 

“They have them, those people with the Governor, Sasha said you would know them, that you’ve run into them before,” Maggie sounded on the edge of tears and her sentences were disjointed. 

“We found her by herself lost in the woods, she’s disoriented or somethin’,” Daryl explained as she shifted restlessly on the edge of the group. 

“The Governor? Rick, do you think...?” Michonne had her sword drawn as she scanned the woods outside the gate, as if the threat had followed Maggie. 

Rick nodded, “Yeah, it’s gotta be them.” Beth felt fear gripping her chest. The creepy, teeth-pulling group had Sasha. 

“She knew one of them—Sasha knew one of them. He blamed her for someone’s death—Donna-“ 

“Allen?” Beth gasped. Allen or Ben, or possibly both, was with that other group. And Donna was _dead_. This was all her fault. Beth’s tight grip on her sister turned her knuckles white. 

“Is she all right?” Shane asked as he arrived, Andrea, Morgan and her father were right behind him. Hershel pushed past all the gawkers to pull Maggie and Beth both into his arms, relieved tears streaked down his cheeks. 

“Glenn and Sasha were taken,” Rick started. 

“Glenn knew one of them too,” Maggie interrupted, “Carol is with them.” Beth did not miss Shane’s dark look at the name, or Andrea’s uneasy one. 

“That ol’ bag is still alive? Shoot!” Merle cackled as T-Dog shut the gate behind the gore spattered redneck as he sauntered back into the group. 

“Who’s Carol?” Rick asked with a frown and turned to face Shane. 

“She was with our group but after she lost her daughter she stayed behind,” Shane answered. Shane’s tone was neutral but Hershel’s embrace around Maggie and Beth tightened at Shane’s words. 

“What this about a Governor? And some guy named Allen? How do you know them?” T-Dog asked and then addressed Shane, “Maggie said something about a Governor, and that Rick knew them.” 

Now it was Shane’s turn to interrogate, “What’s this then, Rick?” 

“They’re a group we’ve had near run-ins with in the past. They’re a large, extremely well-armed and well supplied group and we’ve witnessed them doin’ some strange things,” Rick responded. 

“Like roundin’ up walkers and pulling out their teeth,” Morgan interjected. 

“Allen and his family were with our group for a while. We split up after an… altercation,” Rick added. “He also had a son named Ben.” 

Maggie pulled away from their father enough to speak with the group again. “Sasha mentioned him,” she said and then glanced at Beth. Beth knew that look. Sasha must have mentioned something about Ben and Beth. 

“An altercation?” Shane questioned. 

“We didn’t part on friendly terms, and if Donna is dead and he’s blamin’ Sasha… we need to go get ‘em.” Rick stated firmly. Morgan nodded resolutely at Rick’s side and even Michonne looked ready to head out. Beth knew how they felt. Sasha was family. 

Rick turned to Maggie again, “Maggie, do you think you can find where you were on a map?” 

“I’ll take you there myself,” Maggie responded resolutely. “It’s a small town that’s walled off. But it walled against geeks, not people. I was able to sneak out fairly easily.” 

“Whoa, now, wait just a minute. You aren’t going anywhere,” Hershel ordered. 

“Oh yes I am. They have _Glenn_.” Beth was struck with a bout of déjà vu, her father and sister sounded just like they did Before, when they used to argue about Maggie’s choices in boys, friends, and school. Beth took a step away from her father as he winded himself up for a fight with Maggie. 

Luckily Shane intervened. “No one is going after them.” 

“What?” Maggie was the first to react but Beth couldn’t take her eyes off of Rick and Shane, who were facing off, each with a determined glare. 

“Those are our people out there,” Rick’s tone was firm but with an edge. 

“Shane’s righ’. If Bo Peep here got herself out, so can Chinatown and Fro Yo,” Merle joined his support to Shane. 

"Nobody is saying that we're not going after them--" 

"I am," Merle interrupted. 

"--But we need a plan," Rick continued, ignoring Merle, eyes still on Shane. 

Shane snorted. “A plan? What’s your brilliant plan?” 

“A small force. We get in unnoticed, get our people out, and we’re gone with them none the wiser,” Michonne spoke up, standing at Rick’s side and just daring Shane to challenge them. 

T-Dog nodded, Morgan stood firm at Rick’s side, and even Daryl spoke up, “it could work.” 

Shane huffed while Merle teased his brother for having a crush on ‘Chinatown.’ But Beth stood staring at Rick. He was going to leave her. 

* * *

Michonne’s force was slightly bigger than she wanted. Well, not necessarily bigger, but full of unwanted members with Shane, the Dixon brothers and Oscar, the prisoner eager to prove himself to the group. She only trusted Rick among them. The Dixons and Oscar were with her in the bed of the truck. Oscar had attempted to make small talk a few times, but between Merle’s blatant racism and her stoicism, Oscar quickly gave up.

Maggie was in the truck cab, despite Hershel’s vehement objections, between Rick and Shane. Maggie had been able to mark where they were heading on a map, she had seen a water tower for this Woodbury town when she fled the night before, but the girl was stanch in rescuing Glenn and Michonne admired her determination. Beth had also wanted to come, but luckily Rick had talked her out of that. Michonne did not know what Rick had said to convince her, but Beth’s eyes had been shiny and red with tears as she desperately kissed Rick good-bye. 

Tyreese had wanted to come as well. Rick had an easier time convincing the man to stay behind, he swore he would return with Sasha. Tyreese’s ‘violence is the last option’ stance had surprised Michonne when she first got to know him, especially when his first career had involved tackling people for a living. Nonetheless, Rick had been able to convince Tyreese that the best thing he could do for Sasha was make sure Sasha had a place to come back to. 

Originally, Tyreese had been part of Rick and Michonne’s plan, until Shane demanded that he and the Dixons participate as well. Shane was a mess of hot and cold to Rick, he was angry at his friend all the time but apparently he still felt a duty to his former partner and wouldn’t let Rick venture out without him. 

The truck came to a stop off the side of the road as the sun was beginning to dip below the tree line. If all had gone according to plan, then they were roughly a mile away through the trees. Daryl led the way as they headed into the woods and Michonne stayed close on his heels. She still did not trust either him or his brother. Daryl had refused a gun, much like Michonne, and had only his crossbow and a knife. Rick and Maggie were not far behind her and Shane, Merle and Oscar brought up the rear. 

The woods were suspiciously low on walkers, they only ran across two, which were easily dispatched. Michonne wondered if this ‘Woodbury’ place regularly patrolled. The sun was still out, just barely, when they finally glimpsed the wall. They agreed to spread out just a bit to find an unwatched segment to climb. It quickly became apparent that patrols were few and far between, it seemed they only focused their watch to the two gates. 

They waited until dark to hop the wall. Maggie led them easily enough to the building she had been held in but Michonne held Rick back for a moment. “I’m gonna look around, find out more about who we’re dealing with,” She told him in a low voice. 

Rick hesitated a moment before nodding his assent. It was easy to see that Rick did not agree, but he trusted her judgment. Judgment hard won. Michonne felt a flash of gratification before she shook it off and slipped away from the group. She had grown attached to these people, they soothed the ache left behind by Andre. Michonne was still angry about her son’s death, but her new people gave her a purpose. Beth’s brightness, Duane’s eager smiles, Tyreese’s easy jokes, Sasha’s determination, Morgan’s protectiveness, and Rick, willing to do anything to do right by his people. Michonne had been convinced after Mike and Terry’s failure that only rotten people were left in this world. She was glad she was wrong. She had barely felt a twinge when she put Mike and Terry down for good to protect herself and Rick. 

This Woodbury place was well kept. Michonne could not help but notice how intact everything was as she snuck through the dark between buildings that looked well maintained and even recently painted. She stared in disbelief at a flower box outside of a window with bright, cheery flowers planted in freshly turned dirt. What was this place that there was time to garden such a frivolous plant? 

In her distracted state she did not hear the man sneak up on her, not until a low, rough voice came from behind her, “It’s after curfew.” Michonne whirled, sword still sheathed. Her first instinct was to gut him and run even though he was twice her size but if he thought she was just a resident out after dark then maybe she could use that to her advantage. 

“Sorry,” Michonne offered. She was not good with communication anymore, but at least the last month she’d had practice with her group. 

The man studied her with dark eyes, “Where’d you get the sword? I don’t recognize you.” 

Michonne still did not attack. If she could find out information from him, find out more about these people, the information would be invaluable. “I climbed the wall. This doesn’t seem real,” she gestured to the flower box. 

“Come with me,” the man did not give her an option as his hand landed heavy on her shoulder to steer her the way he wanted her to go. She reluctantly handed over her sword when the man asked, she figured that there was a good change he was leading her to where Glenn and Sasha were being held and therefore Rick. But she hoped she was being taken to this Governor character instead. 

The man did not show her to the building Maggie had shown them, instead to a brick administrative looking building. The large man led her through the building, he kept one firm hand on her shoulder and the other a tight grip on her sword. He finally stopped before a door and knocked. It was opened by a tall man, pale skin and grey blue eyes. 

Michonne recognized this man from the helicopter crash and did her best to not react. She did, after all, have the best poker face. “Shumpert, what’s this?” the man asked as he studied her. 

“Found her skulking around. With this.” Her captor, Shumpert, held out her sword. 

“Now that is a fine weapon. Bring her in.”

The man before her stood aside as Shumpert led her in. Shumpert set her sword down on a dining table in the middle of the room and Michonne stood a few feet away with her arms crossed as the two men stood before her. 

“You the Governor then?” Michonne asked. 

“Well, you seem to have us at a disadvantage. You know us, but we don’t know you.” It was a clear invitation for Michonne to introduce herself but she stayed silent instead. She took in as much of the room as possible without losing sight of the two men. The place was so normal, filled with knickknacks and looked well lived in. Things here did not seem to be touched by the world and it put Michonne even more on edge. Both men blocked the door she came in, but there were two more in the room. One, close to the bed, had to be a bathroom, and the other was at her back. Even if it did not lead outside it would give her a few minutes to regroup. 

Michonne finally did speak, after she was sure of her environment, she had one question that had been itching at her since she first saw these men at the helicopter crash. One that made Rick uneasy and quick to change the subject. “I’ve seen you before,” Michonne began and the Governor looked intrigued. “At the helicopter crash.” 

The Governor understood immediately, “Carol was convinced someone had been hiding in the brush. Looks like she was right.” Shumpert did not respond, nor had his facial expression changed. 

“The soldiers from the helicopter. They were already dead and you stabbed them in the head.” 

“Of course we did,” the Governor frowned in the ensuing silence. “You don’t know then?” Michonne stayed silent. Know what? The Governor smirked at her. “You’ve had a long day. Why don’t we talk in the morning? Shumpert can show you to a room. We have running water.” 

Michonne snorted, as if she could be tempted with something as frivolous as a shower. “I think I’ll be on my way, if it’s all the same,” she responded. 

“I’m afraid I can’t allow that.” Michonne nodded in understanding. She would have been surprised if it had been that easy. But he was not going to answer her question and she had people to regroup with. 

She took one complacent step forward, into the space between the two men. The Governor’s smirk was still in place as he reached for her. She elbowed him in the solar plexus, he stumbled at the unexpected move. She used the surprise to her advantage as she grabbed the nearby lamp off a table and brought it down over Shumpert’s head. The ceramic base shattered and the man collapsed heavily to the floor. 

Michonne grabbed her sword and ran to the door behind her, the Governor was still between her and the door out and he was recovering fast. Michonne shouldered her way through the door only to stumble to a stop. The room was dark, lit only with aquarium lights. But those were not fish swimming. Michonne froze in shock as she took in all the different heads. Some were still _moving_. Eyes blinking, jaws snapping. 

The Governor tackled her, taking advantage of her distraction. Michonne hit the ground hard and rolled. She managed to knee the Governor, stunning him enough so she could push him off. She scrambled for the other door yanking it open only to find a waiting walker. The little girl clawed at her and Michonne unsheathed her sword. 

“No!” The startled cry behind her stopped her. The Governor was on his knees, a scared look on his face. “Don’t hurt her! Please!” 

Michonne then noticed the chains on the girl, she could not reach Michonne. The small girl was _leashed_. Michonne studied the child for a moment, she once had long blonde hair and she was wearing a night gown and slippers. The Governor was still begging her to leave the girl alone, he stayed back as he made his pleas. 

The young girl was dead. It was easy to see. The poor thing was well preserved but was clearly decomposing. Michonne shook her head. This poor child needed to be laid to rest. Michonne swung her sword.

* * *


	17. Chapter 17

* * *

**Chapter Seventeen**

* * *

Rick kept a firm hand on Sasha’s arm as they snuck through the town back towards the wall. Sasha was stubbornly refusing help walking and Rick was stubbornly refusing to acknowledge her refusal. Sasha was woozy with possible cracked ribs, but she was in far better shape than Glenn. Apparently, Maggie’s escape had been taken out on Glenn while Sasha had been forced to watch. “I told ‘em, Rick, about the prison,” Sasha confessed in a whisper. “Their leader, the Governor, had a gun to Glenn’s head and I promised Maggie—“ 

“Hey, it’s okay. We’ll figure it out,” Rick assured her. Shane was only steps away and shot a curious glance back at them. Rick knew Sasha’s words would have set off his unstable friend and this was neither the time nor the place to have an argument. Rick preferred to be out of danger before dealing with an irate Shane. Plus, one of Glenn and Sasha’s guards had gotten away. In their effort not to use guns and to stay quiet, a man had escaped. He had seen Oscar’s prison jumpsuit. So even without Sasha’s confession they were traceable.

An alarm sounded as they neared the spot in the wall they climbed over earlier. Michonne was waiting for them at the base of the wall, she was holding herself awkwardly and Rick could see fresh blood on her clothes. 

“What happened to discreet?” Shane snarled as they reached her. 

Rick rolled his eyes, it could easily have been their own fault an alarm was being sound. “There’s no time for blame, let’s get over the wall,” Rick hissed back and he helped a woozy Sasha climb. 

A shout sounded in the distance and then gunfire. “I got this,” Daryl called and Rick didn’t stop to take in what was happening behind them. Instead he focused on getting an injured Sasha and Michonne over the wall. Rick went over the other side first to help ease the others’ descent. As soon as Glenn was on the ground, Shane and Oscar on the wall, Rick started herding the others off to get out of sight in the trees. 

The truck was only fifteen minutes away at a light jog, and Rick was preoccupied with Sasha's vertigo and bruised ribs, Glenn's pained, swollen face and Michonne's limp. They ran across three walkers that distracted Rick further, and Sasha proved she was still functional enough to take one down. Rick did not realize Daryl hadn’t followed them until Merle and Shane started arguing when they reached the truck. 

“We don’t go back.” 

“That’s my baby brother!” 

“You know the rules. We Don’t. Go. Back.” 

Merle looked murderous but Shane did not back down. Rick stared at the man he had known for most of his life and wondered who he was. Shane had always been easygoing, and occasionally a bit arrogant, Before. This Shane was one Rick barely recognized. He shook his head as he grabbed the duffle bag out of the cab of the truck. 

“Rick, what are you doin’?” Shane snarled when he noticed Rick condensing ammo. 

“I’m going back.” 

“No, you are _not_.” 

“Take Glenn, Maggie and Sasha back to the prison. Merle and I got this. Right Merle?” Merle looked at Rick like he was crazy, and maybe Merle was right. Merle let out a bark of a laugh, “Righ’.” 

“I’m going too,” Sasha wobbled at a bit as she got her to feet but her look of determination booked no arguments. 

“How many fingers am I holding up?” Rick asked as he held his index and middle finger up. 

“Six.” 

“Good enough,” Rick shrugged and handed her a gun. 

“Rick, don’t be so fuckin’ stupid. Daryl Dixon isn’t worth it.” 

“He’s one of us,” Rick argued. “Now we’re heading back. Don’t bother waitin’.” 

“I won’ be,” Shane snarled and shoved an unsteady Glenn towards the SUV. Glenn stumbled and Maggie caught him, shooting Shane a glare of her own, but they followed anyways. Oscar looked between the two separating groups uncertainly. 

"It's all righ'. Go with Shane, make sure they get back safe." Rick encouraged and Oscar shot him a grateful smile before jogging after Shane. “Michonne, you should—“ 

“Don’t you even start with me Grimes,” Michonne cut him off and turned back the way they had just came. “Besides, the Governor isn’t too happy right now.” 

“How would you know that?” Merle asked curiously.

Michonne shrugged, “I might’ve gouged out his eye with a piece of glass.” 

“The fucker deserved it,” Sasha muttered angrily. 

Merle let out a whistle of admiration, “You’ve got some balls my Nubian Queen. I like it.” 

Rick shook his head with a grin. Beth was going to be furious with him but Rick had to live by a code, or else he was no better than the walkers. Besides, half his promise was being fulfilled. Maggie was unharmed. The truck peeled out of the dirt loudly and Rick offered a cheeky wave at the taillights. “Right. Let’s do this.” 

* * *

The hood was pulled off Daryl’s head and the surrounding crowd jeered at him. 

He was not exactly sure how he got here, a bleacher full of people cheering for his demise while he stood in a ring surrounded by angry men and chained geeks. He remembered shooting a man in the throat. The man had spotted them going over the wall so Daryl had taken him out. There were other men in the distance but this man was close, Daryl had been sure he could retrieve his arrow and still make it back to the wall before the other men got close. He remembered leaning over the choking, dying man and yanking out his arrow and then nothing. Someone must have snuck up on him and knocked him out because his next memory has him stumbling and being dragged with a hood over his head while a man spoke and riled up a crowd. 

Now a shorter man stood in front of him, but he held himself in a boxer’s stance and looked like he knew what he was doing. His skin was dark, a Latino probably, Merle would probably call him a beaner or a taco vendor. Where the hell was Merle, anyways? Daryl felt off balance, he was unable to focus and the crowd spun around him. Plus, his hands were roped together. This fight was not going to go well. But Daryl had lots of experience with fights not going well. From playful rassling with his brother to the not so playful beatings from his father, he had lots of experience losing fights. He sneered at the man in front of him, Daryl knew not to show any weakness to these people. 

The world steadied around him bit as he focused on a familiar face. Carol was standing next to a tall man, the man riling up the crowd with a speech he didn’t care to pay attention to, he had a fresh looking wound on his face, his head was wrapped and he had a gauze pad over his eye but blood was still leaking down his face. Was it from one of the others? Had they all been caught? He glanced around but he seemed to be the only one in the makeshift arena, besides his captors. Daryl hoped they weren’t, he liked the Korean kid. Hell, he liked all of them to varying degrees. Even the pig Rick Grimes. And if the others weren’t caught Daryl knew he was on his own. There was no way Shane was going to let Rick break his ‘we don’t go back rule.’ Besides, he was hardly worth saving. Daryl felt a smidge of respect for the man who kept his group together without using fear or threats, like Shane. And the former cop had thanked Daryl for saving his life. When was the last time anybody had thanked him or anything? Plus, he hardly saved the guy’s life, Rick would have been fine. Probably. 

And saving Rick’s life didn’t matter, because Daryl hadn’t been able to save the one life that mattered. And seeing Carol, her burning blue eyes and she studied him with a long-buried hate, Daryl felt it all come back. He had promised Carol he would find Sophia. But after a few days Shane had wanted to move on and Merle agreed so Daryl had done what he’d always done: he followed Merle. He still remembered Carol’s screams as they left her behind, how she had cursed all of them for being cowards for leaving behind a little girl. Merle had laughed and wondered how many geeks her yells would bring. Daryl wished he and Merle had simply robbed the group and moved on like they originally planned. But then the campsite outside the quarry had been attacked by a herd of geeks and suddenly Merle was Shane’s right hand man. Merle had always enjoyed lording power over people. It was a trait he shared with their dad. 

The crowd was loud, and he didn’t think Carol would hear him, but he said it anyway, “’m sorry.” Carol looked shocked. 

While keeping eye contact with her, Daryl missed seeing the man take a swing at him until it was too late. Daryl rolled with the punch, forgetting about the barrier of geeks surrounding him. He rolled into grasping hands and kicked out in panic but the geek’s grasp didn’t break his skin. The geek didn’t have any fingernails, or teeth for that matter. Daryl kicked the geek away before he scrambled to his feet and threw himself at his attacker. The crowd roared as he put up a fight, cheering and jeering, and it sounded like they were chanting ‘Martinez.’ ‘Martinez’ turned to the crowd and raised his hands asking for more noise. Clearly, he didn’t think Daryl was a threat and Daryl burned at the slight. He tried to rush Martinez, but he put Daryl on the ground again and he barely managed to roll out of the way of a kick. 

The clink of a can sounded near his head and Daryl looked over to see a canister rolling towards him. He recognized that canister, he had found the stockpile himself while exploring the prison and remembered shoving an armful in the duffle as they prepared to head out to rescue the others. Smoke was already pouring out of the canister. There must have been more than one can because smoke quickly filled the air as Daryl pulled his shirt up to cover his nose and mouth. 

He was getting to his knees when a hand grabbed his upper arm and yanked him to his feet. “C’mon lil’ brother!” Merle. 

Daryl did his best to keep up as Merle hauled him away from the arena and the screams. Gunfire sounded. Daryl saw Sasha shooting indiscriminately into the air and heard Rick yell a retreat as the panicked crowd dispersed around them. 

“You came back,” Daryl half stated, half questioned as Merle hauled him out of sight. “But the rule.” 

“Officer Friendly don’t care much for rules,” Merle smirked as Sasha and Rick fell in behind them. The sword wielder, Michonne was there too. “Don’t be too eager, we’ve been left behind and it’s a long walk back to the prison.” 

* * *

It was early, the sun was barely up, but Beth could not sleep. Waiting was agonizing. Earlier, waiting on her sister’s unknown fate had been bad, but this was torture. Rick had willingly gone into an unknown, dangerous situation against people who were better armed and organized than them. Beth paced along the fence between the concrete yard and grassy slope. She could not stop picturing Rick all those months ago when they returned to King’s County, Rick had been on the ground and that man standing over him with a gun pointed at Rick’s head. And this time she would not be there to crack a board over the man’s head. 

“You’re really worried about my dad,” Carl interrupted as she passed by Carl and Duane again. 

It seemed no one was sleeping in this morning. Beth briefly wondered how long the two boys had been up. Of course she was really worried about Rick. “Yeah,” Beth nodded. 

“So, you really like him. You like, _like_ him.” 

Beth couldn’t help herself as she stopped to look Carl in the eye, “I love him. I love him and I never said it, because I was scared of what his answer would be, especially since your mom was still out there somewhere.” Beth said through frustrated tears. 

Carl and Beth stared at each other for a moment, letting the shouts and the sounds of an engine sink in before they both took off for the path leading to the gate, Duane fast on their heels. The truck was back, most of the prison gathered around it as it came to a stop. Beth did a headcount as she approached: Shane was in the driver’s seat, Maggie was helping Glenn out, and Oscar was in the bed of the truck. “Where are the others? Where’s Rick?” Beth asked, a bit of hysteria colored her voice.

Maggie left Glenn with their dad and pulled Beth into a tight hug, which did little to make Beth feel better. “Where’s Rick?” She repeated. 

“I’m sorry Bethy, I was so wrong about Rick,” Maggie’s words were muffled by Beth’s hair but they were clear as day to Beth. She began to feel panic creeping up, her lungs could not get air and her head felt light. Rick could not be dead, he just couldn’t. 

“Where’s Sasha?” Tyreese’s panicked voiced asked. 

“Daryl was separated from us. The others elected to stay behind to look for him while I brought Glenn back for medical attention,” Shane offered. 

“Elected?” Tyreese asked. His voice boomed and he stood before Shane looking every inch of the defensive lineman he used to be. 

“Your sister insisted on stayin’ behind when Rick told her to come with me,” Shane responded, he did not appear to be intimidated by Tyreese’s size or glare. 

“You couldn’t’ve waited?” Lori asked. Shane looked startled to see her, Judith was wrapped up in a blanket against Lori’s chest but the baby didn’t detract from Lori’s own intimidating glare. 

“I had to get Glenn back here,” Shane replied, a little less sure. 

“I would’ve been fine,” Glenn spoke up from where Hershel was prodding at his face. 

“Well, Glenn’s here now, so go on back and get them,” Lori’s voice was sharp as she continued to glare at Shane. 

“No,” Shane shook his head. “We ain’t goin’ back. Rick knew we weren’t waitin’. He’s got our best trackers. They’ll find their way back. And that’s the last I’ll hear on it!” 

Beth did not stick around to hear any more of the argument, she wanted to be alone. She wanted to cry and scream and rage. She quickly ran back into the prison. She headed back to her cell, _their_ cell, and sank down in the corner against the cool concrete and cried. 

Lori, of all people, settled down next to Beth still cradling Judith to her chest. It could have been minutes or hours later, Beth was not sure. She felt awful, her face had to be a swollen mess from crying. Beth gave Lori an unsure look in greeting. Lori was silent for a few moments, adjusting the sleeping Judith so they were both comfortable against the cement wall. 

When Lori did finally speak it startled Beth, “Before Rick was shot, I wanted a divorce. I was tired of our lack of communication and how he cared more about his job than me and Carl.” Beth stared at Lori in shock. Divorce was an ugly word in her family, and Beth could not even imagine wanting to leave Rick. Lori continued, “But then… my biggest fear came true and Rick was shot. He was a mess; blood swelling in the brain, medically induced coma, the doctors didn’t think he was going to survive the first twenty-four hours. And… I knew it then, that I couldn’t live without Rick. And he pulled through,” Lori let out a bitter laugh that seemed like a physical blow to Beth. 

“But then everything went down and Shane told me that the army was at the hospital and they had turned off the power and that… Rick was gone. He was _gone_. And I was broken. I tried so hard to be a good mom for Carl, but I was lost. And Shane was there for us, playing at being a good dad with Carl, being sweet to me… and I gave in. Lost myself with him.” Lori shook her head, she seemed so resigned it made Beth ache for her. “And then Rick comes along, looking hale as ever.” Lori let out another acidic chuckle. 

Beth tried to keep the look of utter shock off her face. She had no idea what to say. Should she say something? Should she comfort Lori? “What I’m telling you is, don’t do what I did. Stay strong and don’t get lost. Don’t give up hope on Rick Grimes. He’ll make it,” Lori patted Beth’s knee. Lori looked forlorn, Lori knew what she had lost. Lori still had feelings for Rick, that much was obvious. Beth was not angry, she felt awful for Lori. Lori had been through so much. Didn’t she deserve some happiness? But Lori’s happiness would be Beth’s ruin. 

Hours later found Beth back in the yard. She was with Carl and Duane, hoping the two could distract her and keep her from her thoughts. Her brain was a mess over Rick and Lori and she didn’t want to hear herself think anymore. 

* * *

It was late afternoon, and everyone at the prison was trying to go on about their business as if there was not a giant hole in the group. Morgan had gone to the back of the prison, taking Oscar, they were trying to block up the gaping hole in the wall better. Walkers were still getting in through the back making clearing the prison impossible. Andrea and Axel were not too far from Beth, they were hanging sheets out to dry. Beth and the boys were doing math, and neither of them were complaining, which just went to show Beth how unfocused they were on the task. But still she forged ahead. She had enjoyed math in school, up until it became too abstract with sine, cosine and tangent. She was standing behind the boys as they all stared at the one math book they had from the prison library. 

The shock of the sound of a bullet being fired had Beth reacting on instinct. She dove behind the picnic table grabbing Carl and Duane as she went. They hit the pavement hard, Duane landed on his shoulder awkwardly and let out a cry Beth’s knees sang in pain as she landed on them. More gunfire sounded validating Beth’s extreme response. 

It was not until Carl’s panicked, “Mom!” that Beth looked around. Lori had been rocking Judith as she took a lap around the yard but now she was on the ground and there was blood spreading on the pavement. Beth could not see Judith. She told Carl to stay with Duane before half crawling half running to Lori’s prone form. She skidded to Lori’s side, Lori had collapsed on her stomach and Beth rolled her to her side enough to reveal she was still cradling Judith. 

Judith let out a wail and it stirred Lori. Lori had been hit, there was blood all over her front and all over Judith. Lori let out a gasp as Beth pulled Judith from her arms. It was difficult to tell if the baby was injured, there was so much blood everywhere. Lori reached for Beth and pulled her lower, her grip was strong and her expression wild eyed. “Beth. You have to take care of Judith,” She panted. 

“It’s okay Lori, everything is going to be okay,” Beth did her best to ignore the gunfire around them. “You’re gonna be fine. We’ll get you to Daddy and you’ll be fine.” Lori became blurry, it took a moment for Beth to realize it was because she was crying. 

“Beth, please, take care of—“ Lori was cut off as another bullet hit her, this time in the low back. Lori screamed in pain and tugged Beth down next to her. Beth huddled against Lori, Judith was in her arms crying and Beth shaking. Lori was hit again, Beth could not stop staring into her eyes as Lori gasped at her, choking on blood. 

Beth did not know how long she laid there. Long enough for the life to leave Lori’s eyes. Long enough for Judith to stop crying. She did not know when the gunfire stopped, she wasn’t aware of anything until a hand gripped her shoulder yelling her name. Beth sat up with her father’s help, Judith still cradled in her arms. It sounded like her father was underwater as he asked if she was okay. 

“I’m okay,” which was a lie. She was not shot but she was not okay. Beth turned her gaze to Judith. The baby’s eyes were watery with tears and Beth finally began checking her over for wounds as her father tended to Lori. She could not find her voice to tell her father it was no use.

Lori was gone.

* * *


	18. Chapter 18

* * *

**Chapter Eighteen**

* * *

“I still don’ see why we had ta stop and help those people. An’ you people wouldn’ even let me take an award for our services. A token of gratitude,” Merle grumbled for the zillionth time. 

Sasha wanted to bang her head against the nearest tree, but she was already suffering from nausea and vertigo alongside her aching ribs, so that probably was not the brightest idea. They had been travelling all day with the shortest stops for breaks they could manage. Daryl was leading them back to the prison, Rick at his side trying to learn tracking from the only tolerable Dixon. Sasha and Michonne were behind them and Merle brought up the rear of their group. Merle had been complaining nonstop, their only reprieve was when walkers were drawn in by his voice and they had to stop and dispatch them, and even then Merle would taunt the walkers as if they could understand his barely clever quips. 

They also stopped to help a family travelling with a baby fend off a herd of walkers. Daryl had heard the baby crying and pointed it out to Rick, neither man hesitated to throw themselves into the fray, even though Daryl no longer had his crossbow. And, of course, Sasha, Michonne and a reluctant Merle followed to help. The family had not spoken a lick of English, and Merle being Merle only made them wary and confused as he attempted to seize some of their supplies. Luckily, they had Daryl there to rein his brother in and Rick to offer his police smile in apology. Normally Sasha could speak a bit of Spanish, but between her exhaustion and injuries her vocabulary was reduced to her favorite foods. 

“Steal an award, more like it,” Michonne mumbled quietly as she limped along side Sasha. Michonne had not elaborated on how or why she fought with the Governor. Sasha had caught a glimpse of the man when Rick tossed the gas canisters into the jeering crowd around Daryl and had felt grim satisfaction at seeing his head bandaged. Allen paled in comparison to the light eyed man that watched with a sick sense of glee as Glenn was beaten in front of her. 

Merle apparently heard Michonne’s quiet words. “Steal? We deserved somethin’ for helpin’ ‘em. Officer Friendly and I are takin’ care of three invalids-“ Merle didn’t pause at Rick’s snort, “-Takin’ time out of our busy schedule to help complete strangers when we got our own problems!” 

“Invalid? Watch yer mouth, I can still whip yer ass!” Daryl glared at his older brother. Sasha was glad to see Merle’s own brother just as sick of his yammering as the rest of them. 

“With what? Them Woodbury jokers took yer crossbow and then beat ya silly,” Merle taunted. 

“For the love of Christ, Merle, can we get five minutes of silence?” Rick finally snapped, exasperated. “I’d really like to stop attracting every walker within the state to our location.” Rick punctuated with a wave towards the newest walker, so eager to reach them that the former woman tripped over a log and smashed into the ground. 

Michonne wearily stabbed the walker with her sword, she was lacking her usual finesse with the blade but they were all tired. Exhausted. All Sasha wanted was to hug her brother and then sleep for a thousand years. She was even looking forward to her thin, lumpy, prison mattress. Supposedly they were close to the prison, according to Daryl. If she was in better condition she’d knock Merle out and then drag him the rest of the way just for the peace and quiet. 

“Fine,” Merle huffed, “We’re real close now anyways. First thing I’m gonna do is knock sum sense inta Shane, that jackass.” Sasha could not help but grin at the first thing he had said that she agreed with.

“Did you hear that?” Daryl frowned, straightening up a bit. 

“Oh lordy, it better not be another baby,” Merle groaned. 

“Shut up, Merle,” Rick hissed. It looked like he had heard the same noise Daryl had. Sasha had not heard anything, but then again, as she watched Rick his outline blurred and split into two. 

Rick held up his hand and they all stopped around him. Sasha took a moment to enjoy the quiet and lean against a tree, until a distant rat-a-tat filtered through. “Gunfire,” Rick cursed and took off at a full sprint, Daryl right on his heels. Adrenaline fueled by fear pumped through Sasha giving her the energy to follow at a run. Her ribs stung with every footfall, but the gunfire kept her moving. She dimly noted Michonne and Merle crashing through the brush behind her. It had to be the prison. Tyreese, Duane, Beth, tiny Judith, they were all in danger. Sasha held her side as she ran, her rifle thumping against her back. 

They came through the trees not far from the road leading to the gate of the prison. Sasha barely processed the scene before her: the gate torn wide open, a delivery truck spilling walkers into the yard, two trucks parked outside the fence with men shooting at the distant figures outside the prison. Rick was already at one of the trucks while Daryl headed for the mangled gates. 

There were two men in the bed and Rick vaulted over the side landing among the incredibly surprised men. Rick shot one point blank in the face with his python and then socked the other hard enough to drop him instantly. 

“Rick!” A familiar voice yelled. Allen. Rick dove out of the bed as Allen shot at him. Sasha paused to take aim herself, her aim was normally impeccable but the shot at Allen instead imbedded into the side of the second truck. 

“Let’s move out!” Another voice called. The Governor, with a recently acquired eye patch ducked into the second truck and the remaining men scrambled into the trucks. All except Allen. 

As the two trucks took off Allen stayed on the ground, aiming his gun at Rick now that his cover was driving off. Sasha aimed again and squeezed the trigger. Allen went down, clutching his leg and Rick scrambled towards him. Sasha took aim at the retreating trucks and let out a burst of bullets. None of her shots connected but neither did the men return fire as they ducked down out of sight. Sasha turned back to face Rick, Michonne was nearly at his side. Allen had let go of his gun in his fall but he drew a knife and slashed at Rick. Rick dodged the knife and tackled Allen and pinned him to the ground. Michonne was on him with her sword daring him to move. 

“We should kill 'em!” Merle howled as he came up alongside Sasha. 

Rick shook his head, “No. He’s more useful alive.” 

“Oi! I could use some help!” Daryl hollered from in the prison yard. He was struggling with one walker with only a knife as two more walkers zeroed in on him. Merle took off towards his little brother. Rick and Michonne hauled a cursing Allen to his feet, he was fighting every move until Sasha came up behind him and slammed the butt of her rifle into the back of his head. He went limp in Michonne and Rick’s grips. 

The yard was crawling with walkers and more were staggering out of the trees behind them, drawn in from the gunfire. “C’mon,” Rick grunted and he and Michonne headed through the ruined gate with their captive and Sasha on their heels. 

As they approached the gate the sound of another truck came through. Sasha whirled, gun aimed, but it was Morgan in his jeep, Oscar beside him. “Rick! Sasha! What the--?” Morgan floundered as he stopped the jeep and took in the carnage. 

A loud, anguished cry sounded from closer to the prison, grabbing all their attention, “Lori!” 

* * *

Everyone around Beth sounded far away, or as if they were underwater. Even Judith’s cries were muted as Beth checked the baby again and again for wounds with shaking hands. Shane had appeared some time ago at Lori’s side, Beth noticed when she looked up. No one seemed to accept that Lori was dead. Her father was still checking for a sign of Lori’s pulse while Shane who was shaking Lori’s shoulder and yelling her name. Beth also registered Axel’s still form under the hanging, freshly laundered sheets, blood around him much like Lori. T-Dog and Andrea were huddled over his still body. 

“Beth!” That voice did not sound like it was underwater. Beth looked up to see Rick running toward them, along with the other missing group members hot on his heels. Rick was alive. Rick was here. It did not seem real. Was Beth hallucinating? Or was she dead too? Just a ghost sitting amidst the carnage? But Tyreese was rushing to a limping Sasha. Merle and Daryl were closing the gate from the yard to the courtyard behind Morgan’s jeep. 

Rick reached Beth, his warm hand was on her shoulder as he squeezed it tight, Beth was fairly sure she wasn’t hallucinating or dead. Rick’s attention was on Lori’s still form. Beth could tell Rick knew instantly that Lori was dead. Rick let out a quiet, “Oh God,” and then he was up and moving again. Beth turned to watch him approach a shell-shocked Carl. 

Carl and Duane had moved from the picnic tables to behind a brick wall at some point. Carl had a gun drawn, had he fired shots at their attackers? Carl’s gaze was on the hubbub around Lori until Rick reached him and went to his knees in front of his son. Beth was distracted from watching Rick and Carl when Sasha came beside her to check on her and Judith, Tyreese hovering behind his sister. 

“Sasha, what happened?” Beth asked as she looked around. The gates had been run down by a truck and the grassy yard was full of walkers with more approaching from the woods. “Who did this?” 

Sasha’s brown eyes were full of anger as she replied, “the Governor.” 

Shane’s fist crunched into Rick’s jaw, surprising everyone. One-minute Shane was on the ground over Lori’s prone form the next he was yanking Rick away from Carl and socking him in the face. 

Rick, a bit dazed, barely had room to dodge Shane’s next punch and in response he tackled Shane to the hard cement. Shane’s head cracked on the pavement but that did not stop him from struggling against Rick. Beth gaped, just as slow as everyone around her to react. 

“This is your fault, your fucking fault! Lori is dead because of you!” Shane snarled, looking more animal than human. 

Morgan reached them first, a cautious Oscar on his heels. Morgan hauled Rick off Shane while Oscar dragged Shane off the ground. Shane immediately sprang at Rick and Oscar was barely able to hold the man back. 

Merle then joined the fray but his punch to Shane’s stomach did little to help matters. Merle shrugged off Tyreese’s attempt to pull him back and didn’t attack again, at least not physically, “Maybe yer woman would still be alive if you hadn’ abandoned my baby brother to them vultures!” 

Shane snarled at Merle and fought against Oscar’s grip. Tiny came to Oscar’s aide and helped hold Shane back. Rick was rubbing at his jaw while Morgan looked him over. Judith was making hiccup noises and Beth tried to rock her against her chest to keep the baby from crying again. 

“An’ how did two trucks and the welcome wagon sneak up on ya?” Merle yelled in Shane’s face.

“I was on watch,” T-Dog spoke up. Beth just then realized the man was holding his shoulder and blood was seeping between his fingers. “Someone shot at me from the trees and then the trucks pulled up.” 

“If you had been here, we’d’ve had more manpower! Lori would still be alive!” Shane shouted at Rick, ignoring Merle and the others. 

“You left _us_! We would’ve been here if you had just waited!” Rick yelled back. 

“Easy, Rick,” Morgan cautioned at Rick’s side. 

“Was it worth it? A Dixon in exchange for Lori?” Shane taunted. 

“Shut up, shut up, shut up!” Carl finally erupted. He stomped into the arguing group and shoved at Shane. “You don’t know anything! She didn’t even love you! She loved me, she loved Judith, and she loved Dad and now she’s gone!” Carl roughly wiped at his face. He then took off, back towards the prison, running for the door. 

“Carl!” Rick ran after his son. 

Shane finally shoved off Tiny and Oscar. He paced for a moment, face darker than a storm cloud and hands flexing restlessly. “What are you looking at?” He barked at everyone staring at him. Beth flinched and cradled Judith even closer to her chest. He snarled and huffed and then stalked back towards the prison as well. 

Beth let out a shaky breath. She had tears running down her cheeks that she had not noticed until now. She glanced over at Lori’s body, eyes still staring and unseeing. Judith let out a wail. 

* * *

Carl was hiding in a cell, not wanting to see or talk to anyone. Shane was in the prison’s endless tombs, taking his anger and grief out on what was left of the walker population. Glenn was on ordered bed rest, Maggie ever vigilant at his side. Sasha had finally passed out in exhaustion, Tyreese hovering nearby guarding his sister. Allen was still unconscious, laid out on the cement floor of a locked cell. 

Rick surveyed who was still standing with a heavy weariness on his shoulders. They were gathered in the communal area, all staring at Rick expectantly. “I know you all are tired, but our first priority is to go clear out the yard and fix the gates,” he started. 

“Our first priority should be to bury the dead!” Andrea interrupted and was supported with a round of “yeahs” from most of the group. Lori and Axel had been killed. T-Dog was the only one injured, his shoulder had been cleaned and wrapped tightly. They had been lucky no one else had been injured. 

“And where are we going to bury them?” Rick asked, voice firm. Andrea shrank down as the realization hit her. The courtyard was still walker-free but it was all cement. “Like I said, our first priority is the yard and the gate. Then we can bury and mourn the dead.” 

“Bury and mourn? What about revenge?” Merle spoke up. Merle’s words also earned support. 

“Yard and gate. Bury our dead. Then we start thinking about our next actions,” Rick told them firmly. Finally no one argued against him. “We need every able body to take care of the yard. Beth, are you okay to stay with Judith and keep an eye on the others?” 

Beth looked like she might lash out at the first person to try and take Lori’s baby away from her, the infant was still clutched to her chest. She nodded at him. Rick wanted more than anything to take her to bed and hold her. Ignore all the prying eyes. Soothe away all her fears. Beth had been right there with Lori when she died, and her vacant expression had scared the hell out of him. He wanted to make sure she was truly okay, but there was no time. Instead he nodded back at her, focusing on keeping the rest of his people safe. He did not know if the Governor would strike again so he needed to focus on defending the prison. The best thing he could do for Beth right now was make sure she did not lose anyone else. “Good, Michonne, you should get some-“

“Don’t even start,” She interrupted with a glare. Hershel had sewn up the gash on her leg and Michonne had bore through it without a hint of pain medication. She still looked ready to take on an army if needed.

“Okay, Daryl—“ 

“I’m fine,” the youngest Dixon was glaring, at least not at him but instead at the ground. Merle was standing to attention at his brother’s side just daring Rick to try and bench him too. Rick sighed but did not argue. They really did need every able body to fix the mess outside. 

Clearing the yard went smoothly, and Rick was glad for something finally going their way. Morgan and Duane sniped from the guard tower while the rest of them moved as a line down the hill towards the gate, using every blade available to take out the walkers. Rick wanted all ammo conserved, now was not the time to be wasting bullets. Morgan and Duane sniping were for close calls only. 

Rick then split the group into gate fixing and grave digging, keeping the biggest group at the gate where they would need defenders against walkers from outside the fences. Rick left Morgan in charge of figuring out the make-shift gate while he headed up graving digging. 

Rick had not thought about Dr. Jenner’s crazed words, or the strange actions of the Governor’s men at the helicopter since arriving at the prison. Not until he was knee deep in a grave with Daryl digging beside him, and Michonne and Andrea filling in the dirt on top of Axel’s grave just a few feet away. They heard a strangled moan. 

Rick froze and so did Daryl. Daryl looked confused towards the fences, the few nearby walkers were headed to the noise at the gate and not paying them any attention. Rick felt dread as he turned to the body wrapped in the yellowed sheet between them and the ladies. 

“Lori?” Andrea’s eyes were wide as she stared at the wrapped body. Michonne and Andrea had clearly heard the moan as well. Lori’s head moved. And then her shoulders wiggled jerkily against the confinement of the tightly wrapped sheet. 

“She’s alive!” Andrea started to reach for her but Michonne jerked the blonde woman back. “What are you doing?” Andrea yelled as Michonne refused to let her go. Rick felt sick as he watched the corpse of his estranged wife move with the telltale signs of a walker. 

“She ain’t bit,” Daryl stated, he was staring at Lori’s body confusion still on his face. This time Lori snarled, and they could see her teeth straining against the sheet. 

“Lori wasn’t anywhere near a geek,” Andrea agreed with Daryl she stopped struggling against Michonne and Michonne released her. Andrea then slowly reached for the sheet, Michonne hovering warily beside her. Her sword was still on her back and she held the shovel as if ready to strike. Rick wanted to stop Andrea, but found he couldn’t move. ‘ _We’re all infected_ ,’ whispered through his mind on an endless loop in Dr. Jenner’s grief-stricken voice. 

Andrea pulled at the sheet enough to reveal Lori’s filmed over, infected eyes. Her body still struggled against the sheet and her teeth gnashed at Andrea. Andrea stumbled back and then fell to her knees, emptying her stomach. 

“Jesus,” Daryl swore. Rick drew out the knife that was sheathed on his belt and moved the two steps to stand over Lori. Lori caught sight of Rick’s movement and turned to face him and Rick stared into infected brown eyes he didn’t recognize anymore. 

Michonne reached for the knife, taking it from Rick’s loose grasp. Her look was full of understanding as she said, “I got this.” 

The knife went in through Lori’s ear. 

Lori stopped moving.

* * *


	19. Chapter 19

* * *

**Chapter Nineteen**

* * *

Beth could not bear to let Judith out of her sight. She didn’t know if it was some sort of survivor’s guilt, but earlier, after Shane disappeared and Rick had run after Carl, Andrea had taken Judith away and Beth’s chest had tightened up and she had started to hyperventilate. Beth had chased after Andrea and taken the baby back and Andrea had patted Beth’s arm with a sympathetic look. 

So now she sat on the bunk she shared with Rick with Judith in her lap. She kept one of Judith’s hands in her own, the baby’s wrist was between her fingers so she could feel the baby’s pulse. She watched, mesmerized as Judith’s chest rise and fall while she napped. Beth only moved to give Judith a bit of formula that Rick and Andrea had scavenged when her sister had first gone missing. Maggie had brought in the basket they had been using as a bassinet for Judith to sleep in, it sat empty on the floor next to the bunk.

Beth did not know how long she sat that way just staring at Judith sleeping, watching her chest rise and fall, her thoughts a buzz of white noise. Long enough for the light filtering through the high windows overlooking the cellblock to start fading and for Rick to return and collapse beside her on the bed. Rick looked beyond exhausted as he rubbed at his eyes. 

“Hey,” Beth greeted softly. 

“Hey,” Rick croaked and blindly reached for her, his hand squeezed her thigh and then rested on her knee. 

“Everything okay outside?” Beth asked, trying to muster some energy. 

“Morgan’s got a temporary fix on the gate, but it won’t hold for long. And… Axel and Lori are buried.” Rick’s voice cracked over Lori’s name. 

Beth nodded numbly. She could not bear to think about Lori, just the mention of the woman’s name brought back a flash of Lori’s death, Lori clutching at Beth and choking on her own blood. Beth took a deep breath and willed away her thoughts. “How’s Carl?” 

Rick shrugged, “He’s not talkin’, he’s just lying on the top bunk staring at the ceiling. Duane’s in there now keepin’ an eye on him. I can’t… I just can’t help him right now.” 

“It’s okay. All you can do right now is show that you’re still here for him.” 

Rick let out an angry exhale and sat up abruptly to face her. Beth shifted Judith onto her chest to avoid Rick’s movement. “No, it’s not—I _can’t_ help him. None of us can help any of it!” Rick’s fierce tone caused Judith to stir, but Beth just stared at Rick in confusion. 

“Rick?” She asked tentatively. She did not like this defeatist attitude from Rick. If Rick lost hope, what hope did Beth have? 

“Lori turned. While we were diggin’ graves.” 

“What? But…” Beth trailed off as her mind raced. Lori had not been bit, there was no way. Lori had not been allowed anywhere near a walker since coming into the prison. And Beth was there while she died. 

“We’re all infected. We die, we turn. No bite necessary.” 

Beth continued to stare at Rick, she had felt numb for so long that she was surprised when her anger started to build. Rick could not break, especially over something they had absolutely no control over. If Rick broke the others would surely follow and Beth was barely hanging on as it was. “So there’s no point? We should just stop trying? Slit our wrists and get it over with?” Beth’s voice rose with each accusation. 

“Wait, Beth—“ 

“No! If you’re giving up we might as well go all the way!” Beth’s anger was starting to rouse Judith, and Rick placed a calming hand on the baby’s back. Beth, for the first time in hours, thought about letting go of Judith. She looked down at the basket lined with a folded sheet and then glanced back at Judith. The baby’s eyes were still closed. Beth remembered her mother telling her once that babies can sense distress. Beth was near shaking with anger and pent up emotion so she, very reluctantly, set Judith down in the basket. Beth’s heart rate ratcheted as watched the baby squirm for a moment before settling down. She turned back to Rick, ready to rip him a new one, rage at him for everything that had gone wrong since the herd had swarmed her family’s farm but Rick’s hands cupped her face and he captured her in a kiss. It was just a press of lips, but she could feel Rick’s desperation in how his fingers trembled against her skin. Her anger vanished. A swell of sadness overcame her and tears started to slip out her closed eyes. Sadness for Lori dying unhappy and lonely. Sadness for Carl losing his mother. Sadness for Judith never getting the chance to know Lori. Sadness for the loss of her own mother. Guilt for every awful thought she had thought about Lori, before and after they met. Guilt for feeling relieved that Rick was here with her, that she did not have to compete for Rick. 

Rick pulled back from the kiss just far enough to gently wipe away her escaping tears with his thumbs. Beth opened her eyes to see Rick staring back at her, intense as the first time they kissed. His voice was hoarse as he spoke, “I’m not giving up. I just… I need a break.” 

Beth’s voice came out stronger than she expected as she replied, “Well, tough. You don’t get a break. You’ve got a whole lot of people counting on you. _I’m_ counting on you.” Rick could not waiver right now. Everyone needed stability right now, Beth especially. They were under attack from _living_ people, Rick had to be strong. And Beth had to be strong for Rick. 

“How about just until morning?” Rick asked, his hands were finally steady against her skin. 

“Only because neither of us has slept in the last two days,” Beth agreed. 

Rick collapsed backwards dragging Beth down to lie beside him. He wrapped his arms around her and buried his face in her hair. “I just … need this. Need you,” his voice was muffled in her hair but it still sent a buzz of emotion down her spine. Beth shifted until they were both on their sides, she was still in Rick’s arms and relished in Rick’s warmth wrapped around her. She gave into her exhaustion feeling secure with Rick’s presence. 

* * *

Rick woke up to the sounds of his name being yelled and a clanging noise echoing against the cement walls. Rick had only a second to enjoy Beth warm in his arms before Judith started crying, also woken up from the noise. Beth startled in his arms, jerking towards Judith’s basket. They were both still in their clothes from yesterday and Rick felt stiff and uncomfortable, but he got up regardless. He had a promise to keep to Beth. He took a moment to press a kiss on Beth’s forehead as she rocked the fussy infant and by then Merle’s jeering voice had joined in on the yelling. Rick sighed. 

Back to reality, he grumbled internally as he made his way out of the cell towards Merle and what he assumed was a finally awake and extremely unhappy Allen. He reached the commotion just as Merle was threatening to gut Allen like a fish. 

“There will be no gutting. For now.” Rick said in lieu of a greeting. Allen stopped his yelling and banging against the cell bars at his arrival and instead glowered at Rick. Merle settled into a murderous glare at Allen. Tyreese stood in between them attempting to keep the peace but looking worn out. 

“And why not?” Merle asked. 

“Right now, he’s more useful alive. He has information we want on Woodbury and the Governor,” Rick explained. 

“I like the sound of this, are you goin’ to go all Gitmo on him? ‘Cuz I will help,” Merle leered at Allen with an unsavory smile. Allen let out a strangled yelp. 

“We are not torturing him,” Tyreese glared at Merle and then his look turned pleading as he faced Rick, “We aren’t those kinds of people.” 

Rick didn’t answer either man and instead chose to study Allen. Fear was starting to bleed through Allen’s anger, Rick imagined that the man regretted not retreating with the Governor when he had the chance. Allen was not some terrorist from an unfamiliar culture, he was just a normal guy that Rick _knew_ , that lost his wife and was lashing out. But Lori was dead. Axel was dead. T-Dog was injured from the attack. Glenn, Sasha and Michonne were injured from Woodbury. This prison was supposed to be safe with its walls and fences, how was Rick supposed to protect his people from someone like the Governor? 

“Dad, you have to kill him.” Rick was startled out of his contemplations as Carl appeared at his side, an ugly glare on his face. Rick also noticed some of the others lurking nearby at the entry to the common area watching the proceedings.

“Dad?” Allen questioned as he glanced between them, “Finally reunited with your long-lost wife and son? How cute,” Allen stated bitterly. 

“You killed my mom,” Carl snarled. Rick placed his hand on Carl’s shoulder to keep him from attacking Allen. 

“And your dad killed my wife. She was a mom too. Seems like a fair exchange.” Allen was making Rick’s decision easier every time he opened his mouth. 

“Carl, I got this.” Carl turned his glare on his father before shrugging off Rick’s grip and storming away towards Duane and Morgan, who were also observing from a distance. Morgan nodded at Rick, he’d keep an eye on his son and Rick nodded back gratefully. 

Rick turned back to face Allen, crossing his arms and stepping up to the bars that separated them. “How did I kill your wife? I gave you supplies. Guns. A vehicle. You had more than before you met me.” 

“You _abandoned_ us!” Allen shouted. He was losing his fear as Rick reminded him of his anger. 

“See, I think _you_ got your wife killed. Or maybe Ben did. Where _is_ your son?” 

“Safe from you,” Allen spit. 

“Are you sure?” Allen’s startled reaction was exactly what Rick wanted. “See, I’ve snuck twice into your town and neither time was I out to hurt anyone. Imagine what we can do when that _is_ our intention.” Allen’s eyes were wide with fear and his face paled as Rick’s words sank in. “How safe will Ben be then?” Rick asked, his tone scornful. Merle punctuated Rick’s threat with a malicious chuckle. The man was a bit too gleeful to do damage but in this instance Rick appreciated the effect. 

“No, not Ben! Please, Rick, I’ll tell you whatever you want just promise me you won’t hurt my son!” Allen turned to begging quicker than Rick would have thought. 

Rick faced Merle and Tyreese again, “See, no torture necessary.” 

“What a pussy,” Merle muttered but Tyreese looked relieved. 

“Rick,” Andrea finally interrupted as she stepped up beside Tyreese, she had been lurking since Rick arrived. “Can we have a word?” She asked and tilted her head towards the common room outside the row of cells. 

Rick nodded at Andrea and they headed out, Merle and Tyreese following. Most of the others were now gathering in the common area. Big Tiny was serving up some sort of food in bowls, Rick watched him place a bowl in front of a worn-out looking Glenn. Maggie was at Glenn’s side, her father next to her. Beth was standing and rocking a fussy Judith between Oscar and Sasha while Michonne was in the corner stretching out her injured leg. Daryl was in another corner eating out of a bowl and shooting out glares between bites. Shane was still nowhere in sight. 

Everyone turned to look at Rick expectantly as he entered. Andrea turned to face him, arms over her chest and ready for business while Tyreese and Merle went to stand with the others. Andrea spoke first, “This isn’t a dictatorship or monarchy. We should all agree on what happens next.” 

“Okay,” Rick nodded. That was how he had run his group before the prison and he saw no reason to change plus he wouldn’t force anyone into anything. 

“What are you planning to do with your… hostage?” Andrea asked. 

“We need to strike before they come back and Allen has the information we need. How many people are in that town? What’s their firepower? Their experience?” Rick could see others nodding along with his words. 

“We can’t just attack these people, no one else needs to die,” Andrea objected. 

“What do you suggest, ignore them and hope they go away?” Rick asked doubtfully. 

“If we’re reasonable then they will be too. Carol is there, we should use Allen to get to her and request a meeting. Negotiate a truce,” Andrea stated stubbornly. 

“Negotiate? You want to negotiate with people who storm in and shoot up our place, kill our people? Kidnap and torture us for information?” Glenn stood up, anger clear on his still bruised face. 

“We’re better than that and we need to prove it,” Andrea responded. 

Oscar interrupted, “Look, here in the joint if someone attacks you, messes you up, you don’t try to negotiate to get them to leave you alone. You prove that you are a top dog that is not to be messed with.” 

“Chocolate thunder here makes a lotta sense,” Merle spoke up as he clapped Oscar on the back. 

“And who says they won’t just retaliate again? What if this cycle continues until there’s no one left on either side to continue it?” Andrea turned to face Merle and Oscar as she spoke. 

“Well then, we best make sure that no one of their side is left standing first,” Merle bit back. He held up a fist bump to Oscar, which Oscar returned only once Andrea had turned her back of them to address Rick. 

“These guys are better armed and supplied than us, plus they outnumber us, we may not be left standing if we wait around and try to negotiate. I think we need to strike hard and fast,” Rick stated once he had Andrea’s full attention again. As reluctant as Rick was to agree with Merle on anything, the man had a point. 

“That to me seems like a reason to try to negotiate, the odds aren’t in our favor,” Andrea argued. 

“I agree with Andrea,” Hershel stood and joined in, “I will not risk my daughters’ safety. Especially after what we learned yesterday, it doesn’t take a bit to turn. What happened to Lori could happen to any of us from a fight with those people.” Rick wanted to retaliate against Hershel for bringing up Lori, her filmed over eyes, snarling for flesh. 

“That seems like a rash conclusion that we’ll turn no matter what, couldn’t there be some other explanation?” Andrea spoke, she saw the fear in the others and tried to calm it. 

“Like what? It was sumthin’ baby related?” Merle snorted. 

“I just don’t think we should all panic,” Andrea glared at Merle. 

Rick knew the longer he held back the information he had the worse it would be. “We’re all infected, it’s true. When Morgan and I went to Atlanta looking for the refugee camp we went to the CDC when we didn’t find the camp. We met a doctor, he was looking for a cure even though he thought it was hopeless. He told me as we were getting ready to leave, that ‘we’re all infected.’” 

“Rick?” Morgan asked with a frown. Rick held Morgan’s gaze hoping his friend would forgive him for his silence. 

“And you’re just telling us this now?” Andrea asked in disbelief. 

“Dr. Jenner was drunk, suicidal and begging us to stay and go down with him. They were just words. I didn’t see a reason to panic everyone in case he was wrong.” The room was quiet, it was a heavy silence and Rick could feel the accusation in some of their gazes. 

“The helicopter… those soldiers in the crash… they stabbed them to keep them from turning,” Michonne spoke up. Rick nodded. 

“So maybe these people over in Woodbury aren’t as evil as we make them out to be,” Tyreese’s tone was hopeful. 

“That still doesn’t explain the teeth pulling. And why they wanted them alive,” Sasha pointed out. 

“They’re like bears or tigers or some shit,” Daryl grumbled. 

“What you say, little brother? Them geeks are like bears or tigers?” Merle snorted. 

“Like them Romans, gladiator fights against bears and tigers for entertainment!” Daryl shot back with a glare. Daryl was right, Rick saw their makeshift arena, pitting man against man against walker. 

“I say we negotiate, or leave this place altogether,” Hershel spoke again. 

“Abandon this place?” Sasha asked incredulously. 

“Na ah, no way. We haven’t been here long but I think you’re forgetting what it was like to sleep outside of these walls.” Said T-Dog. 

“So we should negotiate then. I don’t want to see my sister or anyone else, hurt again,” Tyreese joined. 

“Hope for the best, plan for the worst. We go forward with trying to negotiate peace with them, but we plan for the worst.” Morgan spoke up from behind Rick. 

“Gives us more time to make this place more defensible. Runs for supplies,” Michonne spoke up. Most of the others were murmuring and nodding along with Morgan’s proposition. 

“I don’t want to lose anyone else if we can help it. And we can,” Beth’s crystal-clear voice rose above the murmuring. Maggie left Glenn’s side to give her sister a hug around Judith. Rick did not like that the people he trusted the most were against his plan, especially Beth even though her stance was understandable, and he would not force anyone to risk their lives. But these people killed Lori and the group was willing to forgive and forget. He wondered if he could take a small force, the Dixons, Oscar, Glenn if he was healed well enough, Shane if he was able minded, and strike the Governor and his forces down all at once. But Woodbury was full of families too. Would they have to kill everyone? Could a wife or child want revenge on Rick and his own if they succeeded? He surveyed the room for a moment, taking in the looks of anger and fear among the group until his eyes landed on Beth. She was looking down at Judith, rocking her to keep the baby from fussing but her eyes looked up as if sensing Rick’s gaze. She smiled, it was small but genuine and her eyes were warm as she looked back at him. Beth trusted him to do the right thing, even after all the craziness and his near breakdown the night before, she did not doubt him. Rick was tempted to tell everyone to get lost and pull her into his arms. Instead he called for a vote,

“Alright. We’ll put it to a vote. Show of hands of who wants to negotiate with this Governor?” 

It was a landslide. Only Merle, Glenn, Oscar and himself didn’t raise their hand. Merle cursed at his brother but Daryl remained firm in his vote. Merle muttered something about pansies before stalking out towards the courtyard. “Alright then, Tyreese and Andrea, let’s go speak with Allen.” 

* * *


	20. Chapter 20

* * *

**Chapter Twenty**

* * *

"The Governor agrees to meet with you to discuss a ceasefire," Allen had delivered the Governor's message steadily although he was sweating and not just from the hot weather. The man had returned alone to the Prison, and Beth was not sure if that was a good or bad sign.

Beth watched Rick stare down Allen with a silent frown. Beth knew how uneasy Rick felt and she had to agree, it did seem too simple. Rick surveyed Allen with a hard look, one that Beth imagined he used to use on criminals to get them to confess. Allen shifted nervously but did not break down and admit to it all being a trap.

All the prison inhabitants were out in the yard, whether still down at the gate (T-Dog) or watching from a guard tower (Sasha and Oscar). Even Judith was snug against Tyreese's chest in a sling. Andrea was at Rick's side with a triumphant look on her face that Beth thought was unnecessary. There was no need to lord over Rick that Andrea's suggestion was working. Beth supported negotiating with Woodbury because she did not think she could handle losing anyone else. Just the loss of Lori left her reeling, what if next was her sister or father? Or Duane? Or, her worst fear, Rick?

Rick sighed and finally nodded his agreement, "Alright. We accept. We will see the Governor tomorrow at 'high noon'."

Allen nodded and retreated like he could not get away fast enough back to his car. It was the same beat up car that Rick had given him two days before when Rick had let him go with barely enough gas to make it further than Woodbury. Two frantic days of fortifying the prison against a future attack. Every scrap of metal they could get their hands on was up against the inner yard fence and walkway with strategic holes to shoot from. Morgan had lamented the lack of tools and electricity to weld but they had made do with what they could. Rick was working himself and Carl to the bone to keep Carl's mind off Lori's death. Shane was still a ghost haunting the prison, Beth hadn't seen him but Glenn had mentioned that Shane had come back at night to eat a can of food before disappearing again.

Rick had not left the prison again, much to Beth's relief, having Sasha and Michonne lead supply parties in search of any guns and ammo. But Beth knew that no way Rick would not be present at the negotiation with the Governor and the people of Woodbury. When Rick had sent Allen off it had been with the request for a negotiation discussion. He had asked for a neutral location with only six people present for each side. The Governor had chosen a location, marked on the map Allen had handed Rick, and agreed to the limitation on people present. And Beth was determined to be one of those six people. No way was Rick leaving her behind again.

Morgan and T-Dog were letting Allen out of their patched-up gate as Beth approached Rick's side. Rick was speaking low with Merle, and Merle did not appear to like what Rick was telling him judging from the scowl on his face. "I'm your best man here and I should be at that meetin', you know those sons of bitches are going to try sumthin'," Beth heard Merle hiss.

"That's exactly why I want you here. The Governor is going to think I'll bring all my toughest fighters to this meeting, and that would be a perfect opportunity to attack this place again. I want you here, along with Glenn and Oscar. I want people here who won't hesitate to pull the trigger if it's not me returning to our gates."

Merle huffed but clearly he saw the wisdom in Rick's words. "Fine, leave your best behind. But then take my pansy, baby brother with ya." Rick nodded and turned to leave but came face to face with Beth. Merle gave her a lecherous wink as he strode by and Beth did not let it throw her.

"I'm going with you tomorrow," Beth did not see the point of beating around the bush, especially with Rick.

Rick frowned at her words, "Beth, it's too dangerous—"

"No, I'm not letting you pull some King Leonidas self-sacrifice to rally the rest of Greece against the Persians without me," Beth stated firmly.

"…What?" Rick clearly did not get her reference.

"It's from Shawn's favorite movie, but that's not important. What's important is I'm not being left behind. Again." Beth crossed her arms over her chest to take up a stronger, more defiant stance.

Rick glanced around, seeing Merle halfway across the yard talking with Oscar, before speaking again, "I'm not planning on sacrificing myself, it's a contingency plan. Plus, I don't want Merle anywhere near negotiations, no doubt he'll find a way to disrupt everything."

"Well then, maybe having a pretty face like mine will help smooth the way."

"Beth—"

"No." Beth cut off Rick, she could not let Rick get his argument in, she had fallen for it last time, all his sweet words about keeping her safe because she was so important to him. "Rick, I was by your side on the road every day and we never lost anybody. I let you talk me out of going with you to rescue Maggie but you will not talk me down this time."

Rick grabbed her upper arm and Beth let him lead her back into the prison. The prison was mostly empty, everyone was still working outside plus with the weather hot and humid the cellblock had a heavy, muggy heat that everyone was trying to avoid while the sun was up.

As soon as they were back in their cell, Rick had her pushed against the cement wall and was kissing her hard. Beth took a moment to enjoy the kiss, it had been days since they had a moment alone and Rick usually treated her like glass and rarely was this aggressive with her. But Beth was not letting anything distract her, so she pushed Rick away. Beth may not have a lot of experience with men, but she had read enough romances to know this ploy. "No, you are not going to use sex to talk me out of this. I'm going with you."

Rick let out a startled laugh and leaned back into her space. "That's not actually what this is about, but thanks for the idea."

Beth was happy to see a grin on Rick's face and could not help but grin back, lately there was nothing to smile about. "Then what's this?" Beth asked.

"You're just… I like it when you get all angry and speak your mind. You get this determined look and it's… cute."

"Cute?" Beth frowned. She wasn't going for cute, she was aiming for badass.

"Sexy," Rick amended. It did make sense, most of their relationship progression occurred when Beth was fed up with Rick's passive behavior.

"So, am I going with you tomorrow?" Beth asked hesitantly. This seemed too easy. But Rick had so much on his plate right now, maybe he did not have the energy for an argument.

Rick was still grinning as he responded, "I know a losing battle when I see one."

"And that means…?" Beth probed.

"Yes. You're going," Rick confirmed.

Beth smiled triumphantly and reached for his shoulders to pull him down for another kiss. "Well, how long do you think we have before someone comes lookin' for one of us?" She asked against his lips.

"Long enough," Rick responded before kissing her again.

Her release was sweet, but not enough. Rick kissed her steadily while his fingers were in her panties stroking and pressing inside her while she fumbled to get a steady hand on him in his jeans. Only a few moments after their mutual releases was Andrea calling into the cellblock for Rick. Rick squeezed her close for a moment before calling back and leaving her alone.

Beth waited a moment before leaving the cell to seek Tyreese out and relieve him of Judith. Even though she did not get nearly enough alone time with Rick she was happy, Rick didn't see her as a fragile, little girl and treated her like an equal. She was content with that for now.

* * *

Morgan was one of the six present for the negotiations. He had only hesitated for a moment when Rick asked him along, thinking of how strong Duane had become, but he knew that he needed to be present to support Rick. Morgan knew Rick was unhappy with the plan to negotiate. No matter how the man's feelings changed Rick will not forgive the man responsible for killing his wife, not matter how far he and Lori had drifted apart. And Morgan understood. The walker that had taken Jenny from him was long gone from the world but he still felt a white-hot rage and urge to kill every walker he came across, but he resisted the urge. He had Duane to think about, to keep safe and protect. Rick needed to think about Carl and about keeping his son safe. And even though Carl wanted revenge for his mother, Rick had to understand that what a kid wanted and needed were not always the same.

Morgan had thanked god for Beth when she supported the plan for peaceful resolution. Morgan was sure that If Beth had supported Rick to go after the Governor he would have, no matter the vote. Beth was even with them today, many had been surprised when Rick had let Beth attend with them and some even objected, mostly Beth’s father and sister. Morgan had not objected, he knew Beth’s calming influence on Rick and knew with her only steps away while he met with the Governor, Rick would not take any risks. But thankfully, Rick was wrapped firmly around Beth’s little finger. 

It had been amusing to watch when it was only the four of them, and there had been few things amusing then, to watch Beth moon after an oblivious Rick but at the same time Rick would go put herculean effort into the smallest request just to earn one of Beth’s smiles. Beth was good for Rick, it had been easy to see even back then. Beth and Duane were kindred spirits, eternally optimistic and fountains of hope. Morgan knew that if he had lost Duane he would have slipped into a very dark place, and it was easy to see that the same went for Rick regarding Beth. Even now, with Carl in Rick’s life again, it was still Beth that was the beacon of hope. Maybe if Carl had been with his father instead of his mother he would be more like Duane and Beth, but the sad truth was that Carl was not. And if Rick were not careful, Carl would slide into the dark space that had lurked for Morgan and Rick. 

Morgan was drawn from his musings as one of the Governor’s men approached Beth. He had a non-threatening vibe, and looked like a doctor or scientist, and he was clearly the most openly nervous one present. The woman, Carol, watched the interaction raptly while the shorter Latino man and the man that gave Tyreese a run for his money in size had their attention on their surroundings. Daryl was uncharacteristically silent and kept eyeing the crossbow on the back of the silent man. Michonne was focused on the abandoned barn that the Governor and Rick were in like she had x-ray vision or supersonic hearing, as Duane liked to theorize. Only a few moments ago Andrea had stomped out followed by Allen when the Governor demanded to speak with Rick alone. Michonne had been ready to march in and start the next round of battle right then and there but thankfully a calm hand and bright smile from Beth kept her put. For now. Michonne only broke her stare to send a glare at the man who dared to approach Beth. 

“Nice weather we’re having, yeah?” The man, Milton if Morgan had heard correctly earlier, greeted Beth. 

“I haven’t really noticed the weather lately, with my sister being kidnapped and home shot up,” Beth replied in a sweet voice, not a drop of sarcasm present. Carol snorted and Morgan bit back a smile at Beth’s brazen reply. 

The man was clearly thrown off, “Yes, well. Um. I hope we can come to a resolution of some sort.” 

“Me too,” Beth replied serenely. Beth and the man had broken the ice, and it seemed some of the tension lessened among them. Morgan approached Carol, he was the most intrigued by her and wanted to know her side of the story of how she lost her daughter. 

“I haven’t noticed the weather either,” She greeted as he came to stand a few feet away at her side. 

“I have. I feel like I’m living in a brick oven full of water,” Morgan replied with a small grin. Carol snorted again, but he could see amusement in her icy blue eyes. 

Morgan let a few moments pass, watching Milton stammer out another question to Beth, before bringing up the topic directly. “As I understand it, you lost your daughter? And the others left you behind when they couldn’t find her?” The steely eyed woman only nodded, frown on her face. Morgan shook his head and let out a breath, “I hope I never know the pain you’ve gone through. If I lost my son and I was left alive… well, I’d not be doing as well as you. I’d be on the train to Crazytown, painting on the walls and more than half-mad. There was a near miss, you see, I couldn’t take care of my wife after she turned and… she nearly got my boy. If it weren’t for Rick…” Morgan shook his head to clear his mind. The image of Jenny, his beautiful, precious Jenny, going after Duane was still seared into his mind. It had nearly broken him. Just the idea of losing Duane… Thank God for Rick. “Duane. He’s thirteen now. He’s good with a gun and treasures comic books,” Morgan said with a fond grin. 

Carol was staring off into the distance, she seemed a hundred miles away lost in her thoughts. “Sophia. She had beautiful blonde hair that I forced her to wear short, we used to fight about it all the time. She’d be thirteen now too. Could be now. I’ve searched every body, every nook and cranny within a twenty mile radius of that highway, once the Governor found me. He helped me keep it together, give me an outlet for my anger. He knows what it’s like to lose a daughter.” Carol’s eyes cleared and shot a glare over at still as a statute Michonne, whom had resumed her vigil of the barn. 

But something bugged Morgan about Carol’s words, itched at his memory. “You lost your daughter before you met the Greenes, right? Hershel joined your group before you left?” 

Carol’s gaze turned suspicious as she again faced Morgan. “The old man? He’s some sort of vet, right? Shane deemed him _useful_ ,” Carol scoffed. “Shane took him and his daughter and then left me in the dirt.” 

“So you guys were near his farm? For a few days before they joined?” 

“I guess, why?” 

“Hershel and his family, before their farm fell, they thought everyone was just sick, that there’d be a cure. They were collecting walkers and keeping them in their barn. Beth is Herschel’s other daughter, she ended up with Rick and I, and we went back to the farm to put her family to rest. There was…” Morgan paused, that had been rough, for both him and Rick. The image of the young girl, lying dead in the barn, clearly turned by not as decayed as the others, was still clear in his memory. “There was a young girl, looked around Duane’s age. Blonde. She had on a blue shirt with a rainbow-“ Carol grabbed Morgan’s upper arm, her eyes were wild and Morgan could see that she believed him. “We buried her, alongside Beth’s mom and brother. We put flowers on the graves and Beth sang a beautiful song. I just… in case that was your Sophia, I wanted you to know.” 

The door opened from the barn, the Governor exited first with a smirk, Rick on his heels with a hard, unreadable expression. Carol straightened up, pulling herself back together. She nodded at Morgan uttering a quiet, “thank you,” before Morgan left for to Rick’s side. He hoped that he had eased some of Carol's rage against their group, and perhaps she would suggest leniency to the Governor on their behalf. Judging from Rick's steely silence, they would need it.

* * *

Shane did not even know if his baby lived. He heard cries sometimes, echoing through the tomb like halls of the prison, but he wasn’t sure if they were in his head or if they were real, and he had no desire to return to the living if she won’t be there. 

Shane had always been jealous of Lori and Rick’s relationship. He remembered when Rick’s younger brother Jeff brought a fresh faced, eighteen-year-old Lori around to a Grimes’ family bar-b-que. Shane had flirted with her, of course, he flirted with everyone, but Lori had not given him the time of day. She only had eyes for Rick and Rick did not stand a chance against her long limbs and sparkling brown eyes. Rick was smitten from day one. Shane had been jealous of how easy their relationship was, how Rick never grew bored with his girl (something Shane couldn’t fathom at the time) and the two of them were one of the sickeningly sweet couples even years after their honeymoon phase. Their problems did not start until a few years ago. It was a bit ironic, Rick started taking extra shifts at Sheriff’s office fishing for a promotion to provide better for Lori and Carl, get Lori the big house she’d always wanted and the more Rick tried the unhappier Lori seemed to get. 

And then Rick was shot and the world went to Hell. Shane did his best to provide for his best friend’s wife and son, he did feel guilty for leaving Rick behind, but he knew Rick would rather have his family safe than die trying to save him. Shane did not covet Lori even then, when he thought Rick was dead or close to it. It was not until Lori turned to him for comfort, she was scared, stressed and lonely. So Shane comforted her, he treated Carl like his own son and he treated Lori like he knew she had always wanted: he put her first. Shane became the leader of their pack of survivors, but he always put Lori’s needs above the others. And after they lost the quarry, they were on the road and Lori confided that she thought she was pregnant, he found himself with the family he had always yearned over. Shane became a dictator to his group; it was his way or the highway. No one and nothing could threaten his family. Carl pulled away from him right after he found out about the baby, he felt like Shane was trying to replace Rick. Shane had snorted, as if he could replace Rick, he was far superior to his friend. Rick would not have been able to keep them safe, he would have tried to save every lost soul they came across. But then Lori started to pull away from him too, saying he was selfish and he needed to think of the others. Selfish. Him. He had always put Carl, Lori, and their unborn child first and he gets called selfish. But Shane grinned and bore her criticism. She was pregnant and scared, her words could be forgiven. Rick would have pulled away from her, like he had done in the past, but Shane kept her close. 

And then Daryl and Merle reported that they found a prison. It raised the group’s spirit, to think about high, secure fences between them and the geeks. But of course, when Shane and the others went to clear the yard they found it was already occupied. Rick. His best friend risen from the dead but _alive_. Shane had been thrilled at first, Rick had been best friend and partner for over half his life and there was no one he could trust more. But Shane had changed, and so had Rick. And Lori, she had been so relieved to see Rick again, Shane had not seen Lori smile in months but back in Rick’s presence and she couldn’t stop. Rick understood why he had been left behind, he did care more about his family’s safety than his own but now this was Shane’s family. Shane had protected them for nearly a year and all of that crumbled away. 

What really killed Shane though, was Rick had moved on, he had a bright, young girl looking at him like he hung the moon, but Lori still wanted Rick, so Shane lashed out. Things had started to improve after his baby girl was born. Lori only had eyes for their perfect little being and when she finally looked at Shane she beamed. They let Carl name his sister, Shane had only cared that Lori and the babe were healthy. Shane knew he could fix this, he had the chance now. Lori would want him again, would know that only Shane could keep her and baby Judith safe. 

And then the rescue mission happened, a mission Shane had thought was a folly from the start. Shane had been so angry when Rick stayed behind to save Daryl Dixon. The Dixons meant nothing to Rick, he had a son and a girl back at the prison but Boy Scout Rick Grimes stayed behind for his foolish notions, just as Shane had always predicted. And Lori had been mad at _him_ for leaving Rick behind. His last words to Lori had been in a fight, "I'm the one keeping you and our baby safe! Me! Rick and his bleeding heart will get everyone killed!" But it was not Rick that got Lori killed. Sure, she may not have died if Rick and the others had been back at the prison, but Lori was under Shane's protection and now she was dead.

Shane did not know how long he spent down in the bowels of the prison, killing every walker he could find, grateful that the back of the prison was still breached to let in new kills. Occasionally he emerged for food at night, return to the occupied cellblock but he did not check on his daughter, he couldn't see her perfect little face, just like Lori's, staring back at him.

He stayed away from the others until Carl came to find him. Shane could not help but admire the kid, he was fearless as his mother. But Carl's words filled him with a dark fury. "The others are negotiating with those murders. Those people killed my mom and dad wants to bargain with them."

“They’ll pay. I swear they will,” Shane replied. 

And so he returned. And in the nick of time by the sound of it. "The Governor wants a trade. He wants Michonne in exchange for leaving the rest of us alone," Rick was telling everyone gathered in the common area outside the cells.

Shane studied the woman in question. Shane has no quarrel with Michonne. She knew how to handle her blade and was tough, even now she ignored her injuries and stood firm at Rick's side. "There's no deal. Michonne is one of us. We're not giving her to them. We aren't handing one of our own over to sate The Governor's desire for vengeance. He wants the prison. He wants us gone. Dead. He wants us dead for what we did to Woodbury. We're preparing for war."

The others plunged into discussion as Rick finished but Shane remained at the back for a moment to mull the situation over. Rick's words were all well and good, and Shane agreed that negotiating with those people was out of the question. None of them deserved to live. But in the Governor's desire for Michonne, who had apparently killed his walker-fied daughter, Shane saw an opportunity.

So with a plan half-formed in his mind, he approached the man whose ruthlessness had yet to let him down. "Merle, a word?"

* * *


	21. Chapter 21

* * *

**Chapter Twenty-One**

* * *

Judith, Beth was learning, did not like to be still. So far the baby girl didn’t cry often, or even loudly, but she was restless and squirmed unless on the move. Beth was currently pacing the walkways in the cellblock, humming softly to Judith cradled in her arms. It was early in the morning, sunlight filtering through the high windows was still weak with dawn but, with the chaos of the Governor, everyone was already up and busy so the cell block was mostly empty. Beth was no stranger to babies; she had volunteered often at the church nursery and had spent many lucrative Saturday nights babysitting. But this full-time parenting thing was _exhausting_ , and she was not even with Judith all the time. 

Beth’s initial inability to let Judith out of her sight had faded enough where some of the others (Andrea, Tyreese, Sasha and, surprisingly, Oscar) were taking shifts on baby duty but Beth still felt on edge whenever Judith wasn’t with her. Beth had promised Lori that she would take care of Judith, and this was one promise Beth had every intention of keeping. After all, someone had to be there for Judith, her other parent sure was not picking up any slack. Shane had not even so much as looked at his daughter since Lori’s death. Even Daryl and Merle showed more interest in the baby than Shane, Daryl had dubbed Judith ‘Lil Ass-Kicker’ and Merle had turned up a few days ago with a travel crib. 

As if summoned by Beth’s negative thoughts, Beth looked up at the sound of heavy steps approaching her only to see Shane walking towards her. “Oh, hey, Shane,” Beth greeted awkwardly as they stopped in front of each other. Shane did not say anything; he just looked down at Judith, his expression pained. “Do you want to hold her?” Beth offered. Judith was awake, eyes looking around as if trying to figure out why she had stopped moving. 

“No! No, I uh, I got somethin’ to do. For Lori. And I just wanted to see the baby before I leave,” Shane took a step back as Beth held Judith up, his arms up as if warding her off. 

“You’re leaving?” Beth asked incredulously. Beth did her best to tamp down her irritation at Shane’s refusal to hold his daughter. And now he was abandoning his kid. Again. 

“Just going on a run with Merle,” Shane responded distractedly, now looking everywhere but at his daughter. “Well, if you come across any baby supplies, especially diapers, grab ‘em.” 

Beth watched Shane take a few more steps backwards. “Sure. And you’ll look out after Judith?” 

Oh, so now the guy showed an interest in the welfare of his child. Beth barely kept the annoyance out of her tone as she responded, “Of course.” 

“Great,” Shane nodded before retreating down the walkway. 

Beth huffed a quiet, “idiot,” before continuing her trek along the walkway with Judith.

* * *

Rick was avoiding Shane, now that the man had decided to rejoin the living. The group needed to be united against the Governor threat and the last thing anyone needed was another brawl between the two men, so Rick did his best to be nowhere near his long-time friend. So when Merle said he was taking Shane on a supply run Rick nodded gratefully. Sasha had just returned from a run but Rick figured Merle’s trek was less of a supply run and more of a let Shane blow off steam because the prison walker population was too low run. 

Rick’s thoughts were occupied with the approaching deadline with the Governor and what the man would do when he did not get his prize. The Governor was unpredictable, he had a calm and poised exterior but Rick recognized the look in the man’s eye, a look that suggested he would watch the world burn and did not care who was in the crosshairs. From personal experience Rick knew a suspect with that look meant pain and trouble.

Rick and Sasha were sorting through the haul she, T-Dog and Oscar had brought in when Rick stumbled upon the crossbow. “Where’d you find this beauty?” Rick asked as he looked over the bulky weapon. He had never seen the appeal of bows, he had hunted when his father was still alive but with a shotgun or rifle. But he knew one tetchy Dixon that a crossbow would go a long way to ease tension. 

“We got lucky, we found a sporting goods store. It had mostly been cleared out but I found this in the backroom. I’m guessing whoever left it behind took a simpler model. There were no arrows but I think Daryl has a supply.” 

The bow was complicated looking, more so than Daryl’s previous model. It did not have the traditional bow looking arms and it even had a scope mounted on it. “You didn’t give it over to Daryl already?”

Sasha shrugged, “wanted to check with you first. Maybe someone else in the group wants it.” 

“Nah, it should go to Daryl. Sure, someone else might want it but as far as I know, Daryl’s the only one with any skill.” 

“Are you sure? Daryl is so … prickly. I feel like he’s not really a part of the group. Either group.” 

“He’s like a cat. Hisses and scratches if you get to close but loyal enough.” 

“If you say so,” Sasha replied skeptically. 

Daryl was at the far end of the cement yard, he was checking over the Suburban again. The Suburban was the retreat vehicle, the Governor’s deadline to turn over Michonne was in a few hours and Rick knew they were safe until then. The Governor genuinely thought Rick would hand over one to save them all, and maybe Rick would have if Michonne had not wormed her way into the heart of the group, the offer was tempting. But Michonne was one of them: she shared comics and cheesewiz with Duane and Carl, she made Beth smile, and Rick trusted Michonne to watch his back. No one had the guts to argue Rick’s point, not even vocal Andrea dared to speak up in favor of the Governor’s trade in the interest of peace, not with Michonne standing at Rick’s side ready to stare down whoever suggested she forfeit her life. 

Rick had put Hershel in charge of a plan for those who would not be participating in attacking the Governor’s men. So this afternoon Hershel was going to take Duane, Carl and baby Judith and retreat to the back of the prison, or further out if Hershel deemed it necessary. Rick had wanted Beth part of that team, but he had not vocalized his desire. As much as he wanted her safe he also wanted her at his side. And he knew he would have no luck convincing Beth to stay out of the fight, not after what happened to Lori and Maggie. Carl had been tough to convince, but Rick charged him with keeping his baby sister safe and Carl had agreed reluctantly. 

“Daryl,” Rick raised his voice and gestured for the man to join them when he glanced up. Rick and Sasha were at the bed of the truck Sasha had taken on the run and Daryl did seem cat-like as he approached warily, shoulders hunched but constantly scanning his surroundings. 

“What?” He asked when he was close. 

“We got a present for you,” Rick responded. 

“It ain’t Christmas,” Daryl grumbled. 

“I think you’ll like it anyways,” Rick pulled the hefty crossbow out of the bed of the truck and offered it to Daryl. 

Daryl looked floored and moved to take the bow slowly, almost reverently. “This is an Excalibur Matrix!” 

Rick and Sasha exchanged blank looks. “Is that good?” Sasha asked. 

“Good? This thing could bring down an elephant!” 

“Really?” 

“Fuck, I don’t know, probably! This thing costs a fortune!” 

“Sasha got it on sale,” Rick joked. Daryl looked much younger, like a kid on Christmas and he marveled over the bow. “There weren’t any arrows—“ 

“Bolts.” 

“Er, right. Bolts. There weren’t any.” 

“I’ll make do. I… um, thanks,” Daryl reverted to his awkward self as he looked at Rick and Sasha again. 

“Hey, Rick,” Morgan greeted as he approached them. “Have you seen the rifle from the walkway?” They only had two high powered rifles with scopes. One was in the main guard tower while the other was supposed to be in the walkway, ready for sniping. 

“I was with Glenn when we placed it there, haven’t seen it since,” Rick responded with a frown. They could not afford to become disorganized now. 

“I haven’t seen Michonne in a while, she normally keeps good tabs on everything.” 

Rick thought back to the last time he saw Michonne. the silent warrior was usually on his peripheral, ready to jump into whatever mess Rick found himself in. It was odd that he had not seen her in a while. “I haven’t seen her since this morning.” 

“Did you think it was strange that Merle and Shane left on a run together?” Morgan continued, “I mean, Merle was pretty ticked at Shane after he left you guys behind. Right, Daryl?” 

“I ain’t my brother’s keeper. He didn’t say nothin’ to me why he’s all chummy now,” Daryl replied defensively. 

“Why don’t you and I head inside to look around for Michonne?” Rick asked Morgan, trying to ease the situation with tensions running high. Morgan nodded, still glaring at Daryl. “Daryl, do you mind finishing up with Sasha?” Daryl nodded, he had a protective grip on his new bow. “Great. Thanks,” Rick nodded at the younger Dixon brother before ushering Morgan out of the way. Sasha mock saluted at Rick with a grin and turned back to sorting supplies. 

Rick headed to the cells while Morgan stopped to check with Andrea. A feeling of unease started to build in his gut. Merle sure seemed like he was still ticked at Shane and the redneck did not seem like the forgive and forget type. So why would Merle go with Shane unless Shane had promised something in return, perhaps some carnage. 

Rick glanced through Michonne’s chosen cell, no Michonne but there was something that grabbed Rick’s attention. The sick feeling started to churn in his stomach and he took a few hesitant steps into the cell. “Rick?” Morgan asked as he joined Rick. Rick reached for Michonne’s sword, sheathed and on her bed. 

“You ever see Michonne without her blade?” Rick asked Morgan. 

Morgan’s expression was grim. He did not respond to Rick’s question, instead voicing Rick’s thoughts, “Do you think Shane and Merle…?” 

“It doesn’t make sense, Shane wouldn’t negotiate with those people, they killed Lori. And Merle was itching for a fight more than anyone else here,” Rick replied. But when did Shane ever make sense? 

“So, you don’t think they’re fulfilling the deadline?”

Rick hated to ruin the look if hope dawning on Morgan’s face, “I don’t think they’re going to negotiate. I think they’re using her as bait. And if they left her blade behind, my guess is Michonne didn’t go along willingly.” 

* * *

Michonne woke up to stuffy blackness. She blinked a few times, confused if her eyes were even open but dim, reddish light filtered in from somewhere and she could hear muffled voices and the sound of a car. She tried to sit up, knocking her head hard, and then she finally realized that she was in the trunk of a car. Rope was tied her forearms together and her sword was gone from her back. 

Defensive training from Before took over, and she kicked out the taillight. It does little but let in a bit of sun light, it was unlikely that a cop would pull over whoever was driving for a busted taillight. But at least she knew it was daytime, even though she was not sure if it was the same day as when she was last awake. the last thing she remembered was Merle coming into her chosen cell, yammering about something and nothing all at once. Had the redneck pressed a cloth over her nose and mouth at some point? Had she been chloroformed? What kind of prison kept chloroform? That just screamed lawsuit. 

She could hear Merle’s voice from the cabin of the car, muffled by the seats but he was telling a rambling story about hunting a raccoon or something, but he had to be talking to someone. His brother? Someone else? There was nothing to do but wait and find out what the hell was going on. 

By the time the car came to a stop, Michonne’s muscles were stiff from how tensed and ready she was. She could hear a few different voices talking, none of them Merle, and none of them close enough to be heard clearly. Michonne tried to position herself into a crouch so she could pounce the second the trunk opened, but she was unable to maneuver into a good position. A voice, suddenly close to the trunk, stilled her movement. “Rick couldn’t make the hard choice, so I made it for him,” Was that Shane? Michonne frowned, why the hell would Shane of all people try to fulfill the Governor’s bargain? He should want blood more than anyone. Was this somehow a trick? 

A key jiggling in the lock brought Michonne back to the present. No matter Shane’s motive, Michonne was not going easy on him. The light blinded Michonne momentarily, but she kicked out towards the shape hovering above her and was rewarded with a crunching noise. 

“Mother fuckin’ bitch!” Shane swore and clutched at his bleeding nose but before Michonne could attack again, Merle was manhandling her out of the trunk while laughing at Shane. He tossed her to the ground and Michonne landed hard in the dirt on her knees. She looked up at the Governor, his grin looking maniacal paired with his new eye patch. Michonne bared her teeth in response. They gray-haired woman that some of the others knew, Carol, was standing off to the side with the Governor’s usual thugs, but she looked disappointed as she eyed Michonne.

Michonne lunged at the Governor, she was not going down without a fight. But the Governor just kicked her back down, letting out a laugh. And then his face exploded. Michonne stared in confusion, ears ringing, unable to process what was happening until the Governor keeled over and she rolled away to avoid his falling body. Shane was holding a gun, pointing it at the rest of the Governor’s men while Merle shouted that if nobody moved nobody else would get shot. But Shane pulled the trigger again this time it was Allen who went down, screaming and clutching his shoulder. The Governor’s crew shook of their shock and started firing back so Michonne rolled back toward the car, scooting underneath to avoid the gunfire. 

The gunfire did not last long. 

The driver’s door opened for the car Michonne was hiding under, and she barely had time to roll out from under it before the car took off, tires spraying gravel over her. Michonne could make out Shane’s anger fueled face as he drove off. There were other figures running off into the woods, the truck the Governor brought now useless with the tires shot out. Merle’s voice caught Michonne’s attention, he was cursing up a storm while clutching his bloody shoulder. Michonne scrambled to him, moving on adrenaline and instinct. 

“Cut me loose!” she demanded, and Merle sluggishly pulled out his knife and cut through the rope tying her hands together. As soon as she was free, she shrugged out of her overshirt and tying it around a second gunshot wound in his thigh when she stopped to wonder why she was helping Merle. “What the hell was that?” She hissed through her teeth. Merle yelped in pain as she tightened the makeshift bandage around his thigh. “Where’s Shane goin’?”

“Fuck if I know! He left me behin’ again, that fucker!” 

“And what about using me as bait?!” 

Merle shrugged his good shoulder, “Seemed like a good idea at tha’ time.”

“You couldn’t have brought my sword?” She curses as she noticed a few walkers heading their way from the trees. “Give me your gun. And knife.” 

“What? So you can kill me? Or leave me here for dead?” 

The leaving Merle for dead, heavily injured with walkers closing in, was awfully tempting. He was a racist asshole and deserved worse. But, he had been helpful on their Woodbury escape, and he went out of his way to find baby furniture for Judith. Michonne sighed, a few months ago she would not have hesitated to leave Merle for dead, before Beth and Sasha and Duane made her all soft again. 

“I won’t… this time.” She stood up and offered him her hand. She barely managed to pull him up, almost toppling over when he realized he could not put any weight on his injured leg. He grudgingly handed over his gun, and Michonne, equally as grudgingly, pulled Merle’s arm over her shoulders so she could help the idiot walk. 

They outpaced the walkers, barely, and headed back towards the road. Michonne had a vague recollection on how to return to the prison, luckily the meeting location was the same place they had their prior parley. But it was going to be a long walk back. By now, someone realized she, Merle and Shane were missing, right?

* * *

Rick gunned the accelerator on the truck, swerving to miss a shambling walker in the road, not risking what splattering the corpse would do to the front of the truck. How could he be so stupid? Letting Shane out of the prison in his state of mind, with Merle Dixon of all people? All he could see in his mind was Michonne sharing snacks with Duane and Beth, all three of them laughing and smiling carefree around a campfire. 

Rick had not stopped to consult with the group. Morgan agreed to stay at the prison just in case the Governor planned to attack the prison and use the prisoner exchange as a tactic to get their strongest to leave the prison unguarded. Sasha and Daryl had been on his way to the vehicles, still sorting supplies, so he grabbed them with a bare explanation of, “we need to go, now!” He knew Beth was going to roast him alive when returned, but he had to stop Shane. The deadline had already past, but he had to hope that Michonne was still alive. 

Two more walkers were in the road, and as Rick prepared to swerve around these two Sasha grabbed his arm. “Rick! It’s Michonne!” The walkers were not in fact walkers, but Michonne with an injured Merle stumbling along the road. 

Rick slammed on the breaks, Daryl was in the bed of the truck and started cursing as he was banged around from the quick stop until he saw his brother. “Merle!” He shouted as he leaped over the side of the bed. Sasha and Rick were out of the cab equally as fast and approached the pair. 

“Are you hurt? Are you okay?” Rick asked frantically. Michonne shrugged out of Merle’s arm, happy to let Daryl take her spot. Sasha, normally not affectionate with anyone but her brother, pulled Michonne into a hug. 

“I’m fine. Merle was shot twice.” Michonne replied as she awkwardly patted Sasha on the back. 

“And Shane?” Rick asked. 

“Gone. Drove off and left us after he killed the Governor.” 

Rick let out a slow breath. “What the hell, Merle?” Daryl looked like he wanted to hit his brother, but the man was already pale and sweaty and bleeding. 

“What? Shane an’ I weren’t gonna just sit around and wait to get shot up again like you pussies, takin’ votes like that shit matters. We weren’t gonna hurt the Samurai Queen, just use her as bait. But it had to be believable. But then that dumb fuck drove off and left us. _Again_.” 

“Uh, guys? What’s that?” Sasha interrupted to point toward the black smoke plume rising in the sky. 

It was not coming from the Prison, thankfully, but it was in the direction of Woodbury. “Shit,” Rick curses, “let’s go.”

“Wait, yer not gonna go after ‘em, let those fuckers burn!” Merle hollered as Daryl led him to the back of the truck. 

“They have families there, kids and women. We’re not gonna let them die!” Rick responded. 

“We’re not the Governor,” Sasha agreed. Michonne sighed but nodded. Daryl ignored them as he manhandled his brother into the back of the truck. Sasha grabbed the first aid kit out of the glove compartment before joining Daryl and Merle in the bed of the truck. Michonne took Sasha’s seat in the cab with Rick, her sword was leaning against the bench seat between them, and Michonne clutched the sword, taking a deep breath. Rick had not let go of the sword once they found it in Michonne’s empty cell and had not realized he was still holding it in his grip until he was in the truck and too late to hand it off to someone at the prison. 

The drive was tense and silent, expect the occasional grunt or shout form Merle as Sasha did her best to patch him up. He passed out before they arrive at Woodbury, Sasha leaned in the back window letting them know Merel’s condition. “He needs stitches. We don’t have anything in the kit. He’s lost of a lot of blood, but I think he’ll make it until Hershel can sew him up.” 

“Pity,” Michonne snorted, and Rick did his best to bite back a grin. He felt a bit of hysteria rising in him that wanted to come out as a laugh. Everything had been one catastrophe after another since they had been reunited with Shane and the others. Things were supposed to be better now with the prison keeping them safe, but instead they had more problems than he could imagine. And now Shane had to be behind this fire, the chances of the fire being coincidental seemed slim. 

The smoke was a thick black and heavy in the air as Rick neared the front gate of Woodbury. Soon he could see the flames over the walls, several buildings were on fire. He could hear crying and shouting. There was a bus at the front gate that people were trying to get to, but whoever opened the gates had mostly likely done so in a panic and not anticipated the walkers being drawn in by the fire and noise. 

Rick stopped the truck in the middle of the road leading to the gate and grabbed his axe and assault rifle. Michonne followed him with her sword, and Sasha with another rifle. Rick did not bother with the gun, just slung it over his shoulder as he came up on walkers from behind and took them out a swiftly as possible with his axe. On the third walker his axe stuck in the skull from a bad swing, and his group was finally drawing the attention of the walkers. The closest one snarled and reached for Rick as he jerked his axe from the corpse. An arrow spouted from the lunging walker’s eye and Rick kicked at the body so it would not fall on him. He chanced a quick glance over his shoulder and nodded in thanks to Daryl, who was propped on the roof of the truck with his new crossbow. 

When they made it to the bus they were greeted by Carol and another woman with long, brown hair, both pointing guns at them. “We’re here to help,” Rick told them, holding his axe in a ready but hopefully non-threatening position. 

“Help? Help finish the job more like!” the unknown woman yelled. 

“Shane has gone off the deep end. He did this all without our knowledge. We had no intention of showing up today. He took Michonne, and now I’m guessing he did this.” 

“And how do you intend to help?” Carol asked, eyes narrowed as she assessed him. 

“We’ll take all ya’ll back to the prison, everyone is welcome if they agree to come peacefully.” 

“Just like that?” Carol asked skeptically. 

“We don’t want a fight. And the prison is big enough for all of us. We should be helpin’ each other, not fighting,” Sasha chimed in. Michonne said nothing, just took about another walker shambling their way.

“Are you seriously considering this?” the other woman hissed. 

“Do you have a better idea, Karen?” Carol huffed back. “You two, stay here with Karen and keep the dead back.” Carol gestured at Sasha and Michonne. “Rick, come with me to help any last stragglers in town.” 

Rick followed Carol into the town, there were a few walkers still on the streets that they easily dispatched. Carol was unfeeling even as she took out the last one feasting on a now dead townsman. 

“Have you seen Shane? Is he still here?” Rick asked. 

“I don’t know,” she shook her head. “He beat us back here, the place was already on fire when I got back. Lost a few others in the woods while we retreated on foot only to find this place in flames.” 

Rick wanted to ask more, but the smoke was soon too thick and he covered his mouth and nose with his shirt. They only found a young kid with glasses, around Carl’s age, and started back towards the bus when a voice call out, “Rick!”

Shane’s face was bloody, he was covered in dirt and soot, and he pointed his gun at Rick. “Easy now, Shane,” Rick said as he slowly put down his axe. 

“Why the fuck are you helpin’ these people? They killed Lori!” 

“You really think this kid is responsible for her death?” Rick took a few steps so he was in the way of any shots on Carol or the kid. 

“They all are! Every last one of ‘em! Even right here, right now, you ain't gonna fight for your family? I was better for Lori than you. It's 'cause I'm a better man than you, Rick. 'Cause I'll fight for it. You come back and you just destroy everything! You ain't got the first clue on how to fix anthin’. Now, raise your gun." 

Rick left the rifle still slung over his shoulder as he approached Shane, slowly like he was a wounded animal. “That’s funny, I was just thinkin’ that it was you who just destroy everything.” Rick said calmly, but then pounced. Shane got off a shot, but it went wild as Rick wrestled him to the ground and they struggled for the gun. Normally Shane was better in a fight, would have Rick pinned in seconds. But Shane had been neglecting himself since Lori’s death, running on only anger and vengeance, Rick got ahold of the gun and Shane socked him in the face. Rick reeled back but had the gun aimed at his best friend as he slowly stood above him. He knew he should pull the trigger, Shane was unstable and Rick would never be able to trust his old friend again. But this was a man that Rick had known for most of his life. Shane had kept Lori and Carl safe when Rick was not able to. Rick could still see that man in his friend, kneeling on the ground before him. Shane was breathing heavily, but his eyes were watering, but his gaze was steady, daring Rick to end it. 

“I never want to see your face again,” Rick told him quietly. 

“You think—” Rick squeezed the trigger, and the bullet shaved Shane’s ear. 

“I said I never want to see your face again. If I do, I won’t hesitate to end this.” Shane stared at him in disbelief but nodded slowly. “Now go on!” Shane scrambled to his feet, and for one moment Rick through he would lunge for him, but instead Shane turned his back and was gone. 

Rick turned to face Carol, who was clutching the young, crying kid to her chest. “I couldn’t kill him. I’ve known him my entire life.” 

“Shane wouldn’t have hesitated to kill you. Neither would the Governor.” 

Rick met Carol’s steady, assessing gaze. “I know,” Rick nodded. Maybe he should have killed Shane. But Rick was not sure he would like the man he would become if he did. He wanted to show them all that there were other ways to live. So Rick held Carol’s gaze, unashamed of his actions. 

“But you’re not them.” Carol paused, looking down at the boy squeezing her middle, “And maybe that’s what we need.” 

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Parts of Shane's words at the end of this chapter are from his last words in Season 2. 
> 
> Well, this is where I am stopping the story for now. I have more outlined, but I've lost a lot of my zest for The Walking Dead. I'm seasons behind (I gave up not because of the Glenn fake out or Negan, but because of every episode was a bottle episode and it wasn't holding my attention, especially when I only cared about three characters. But I am caught up on all the spoilers, which makes me want to watch the show even less!) But I at least wanted to stop this story at a decent spot. I think you can see where I was going though, with Shane still alive (and his eventual betrayal really causing Rick to go off the deep-end).

**Author's Note:**

> Originally posted March 2015 on ff.net


End file.
